April is on the horizon and Matt & Chris are here to argue about Rogue One: A Star Wars Story and to recap the week in Dumb! Plus: an extended appearance from Emmy Martian as the Dumb Trifecta announces the debut of a new project on April 8, all before watching an episode of Welcome Back, Kotter!

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This Week In Dumb:

Friday, March 21, 2025 @ 8pm ET: The Mary Jo Pehl Show Clubhouse: Chit-Chat & Tidbits #23

Saturday, March 22, 2025 @ 3pm ET: Jackey Neyman Jones: The Hands of Paint: Prince of Space

Monday, March 24, 2025 @ 8pm ET: Super Dumb Bros. Play Ghostbusters (Part One)

Tuesday, March 25, 2025 @ 8pm ET: The Mary Jo Pehl Show: Tee K.O.

Wednesday, March 26, 2025: Weird & Wonderful Wednesday Watchalongs: Peter Pan (1924)

Coming Soon To Dumb:

Tuesday, April 1, 2025 @ 8pm ET: Matt TV

Tuesday, April 8, 2025 @ 8pm ET: Movies Are Dumb: Yeti: Giant of the 20th Century

Tuesday, April 15, 2025 @ 8pm ET: The Mads Are Back: A Night of Springtime Shorts

Feature Presentation: Welcome Back, Kotter

Transcript: It's Roman Brown with a lot to say. I back it up by the way I play. Guys look at me, I don't know what to do. I say look out, and I'm coming on through. Randall Cunningham, quarterback, the guy everybody wants to sell. Now you see me, now you don't. You think you will? But he's watching you. He's watching. I'm supposed to win the game by hitting the mark. This game's over before it starts. Keith Jackson, tight end. Yeah, boy! Quarterback's best friend. On the field, I'm bad and bold. But the best thing about me, I got hands of gold. Reggie White, defensive end. Hit quarterbacks like a man's sin. Like a good minister, wouldn't I think? I helped him up to say, God bless you. Wes Hopkins, come my way. Catch the ball, you've got to pay. When you think you're in the clear, I'm the man you've got to be. Wild, wild wits. Dirty water's so sick, you see. I'm just as nice as it want to be. Two hundred pounds of steel and more. My bad. Craig, Gary, the trash man. I make a play and nobody else can. When they say it's an impossible catch, that's when my body starts to shake. Boy, they're young and they call me the woman. I'm the one that's cool, they're good. Hit them high, hit them low. Good God, I might not get far, but he's watching you. He's watching, yes, he's watching. I'll do anything to please the buddy you man. My number one job is specialty. I make my living busting a swing. Yeah, boy! Yeah! I got it! What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? Yes, he's watching. Sometimes we're strong, but you know evil is an exact science You can't forget all that you know Baby, baby, I'll get down on my knees for you Yeah, I'm a freak. I've been a freak since the seventh grade. All my friends are freaks. My mom and dad are freaks. What are these kids talking about? I'm a Jesus freak. A Youth Matters Report, Wednesday on Fox News at Ten. Come down All right I'm begging you. Somebody come. Come down. I can't. The machine's not moving. Man, I don't know how to work the machine. See that old lady over there? She looks like, she looks like the old babysitter that you used to have. You hated that babysitter. She used to send you to bed without any dinner. Kill, kill the old lady. Take her out. Can I help? You? You are aboard the Imperial Warbird Kazara. We're here to explain this. Oh, the new Hallmark Star Trek keepsake magic ornament. Pirated from the Romulan Empire. Looks up, Commander. It lights up. Tell us what you know. Oh, well, the Romulan Warbird ornament is a gold crown stores only for a limited time. You should get yours soon. Call one eight hundred Hallmark for the store nearest you. You guys in town for a Star Trek convention? From now on, you'll be with me. Forget about your brother! Thank you. There we are. Now, whichever way you look at that, your brain will tell you that the long end is nearer to you. Now, it is nearer to you now, but now I'll put it back near my body. Now it's nearer to me, but it still looks as if it's nearer you, doesn't it? Because you're used to seeing things bigger when they are closer to you. Now, here's the spinning motor. It's simply a piece of cotton thread tied to this corner and tied to the other corner, and I've wound it around in my fingers so that when I let it go in a moment, it'll unwind, the thread will unwind, and you'll see the thing spinning. There we are. I'll hold it at the same level as your eyes, and we'll let it go. Now you know that it's turning around in circles. In fact, if you look at it from above, you can see that it's turning around in a circle. But now your brain is doing something strange. It's telling you that it's not going around in a circle, but it's oscillating. In other words, it's turning partway, stopping, and then going back the other way. Now that's a strange effect, isn't it? But if you think that's strange, wait till I add something through the middle. What am I going to add? Well, I'm going to add a ballpoint pen. And to do that, I've placed a little piece of double-sided sticky tape on the ballpoint pen. You can use ordinary sticky tape if you like. I'll place it right through the centre of the window and press it in place like that. Now this time, by fixing on the pen, you'll be able to see that the pen is going around in a circle and not going backwards and forwards. But what's your brain going to tell you about the window? Will your brain allow you to see the window going around in a circle with the pen? Or are you going to see something really strange? Well, have a look at that. That's unbelievable, isn't it? You can see the pen going around in a circle, but your brain is telling you that the window is going part way around and turning and going the other way. And yet in order to do that, the two things have to pass through one another, the pen and the window. You know it's not possible. You know it can't happen. And yet as you look at it, you see them going through one another every time they go around. an amazing illusion, the Ames Window, and I think you're going to have a lot of fun making your own. Baby, baby, I'll get down on my knees for you. Take me out to the crowd. Bye. I'm helping stuff that's dirty on me This is the way I need it to be I'm helping stuff that's dirty on me This is the way I need it to be But now let's consider one of my pet peeves. Women. Oh, boy. Here we go. Thank you, Mel Gibson. Their ten minutes is gone with a cigarette and putting on a new face. Is this a men's room? It's all the same. You never know who might be there. This one forced me to have original sin. Brother, this is where the original seeds are planted. Demon seeds. Another complaint is that all too often the few that fear each other get in their own little circle and other people are left out. I'm with her. And where do they go on the way back to the office? You guessed it, the powder room again. I thought they were in the powder room. Hey, the crazy guy isn't making sense. Come on, am I right? Back me up, ladies. This is so true. And now this guy books comedy clubs for a living. Coming soon to Weird and Wonderful Wednesday Watchalongs. You are cordially invited to return to a time... Are you at home? Yes. To anybody? Yes. To the tax gatherer? No. When greed was good... It was your brother's dying wish that you might do something for his children. Our father, your brother, had a noble heart. Which beats no more. Evil. What do you think you're doing, eh? Was not pretty. Capturing Wainwood boys is something of a speciality. Take it, be thankful. And survival's thought was an adventure. This is my faithful friend and fellow traveler. His face practically erupts with drama. From Charles Dickens' thrilling classic. My name is Nicholas Nickleby. I am his uncle, and even I can see that he is no good. Jamie Bell, Jim Broadbent, Tom Courtney, Alan Cumming, Dame Edna Everidge, Edward Fox, Ramallah Garai, Anne Hathaway, Charlie Hunnam, Nathan Lane, Christopher Plummer, Timothy Spall, Juliet Stevenson. Bravo! Streaming in the extreme. United Artists presents Nicholas Nickleby. This is a family drama. Those are always popular. Tremendous, positively tremendous. All right. What is the first name of the wagon leader? Glennis. Wait, what was that? Glennis? Is that the first name that popped into my head? Glenn. Yes. Like that. Glennis. Yes. Oh, I hit a rock. Glennis drowned. Oh. Oh, crap. You killed everybody. Well, how far did you get? That was a pretty good run. Oh, yes! Aw, Glennis. You made it the furthest, Glennis. What would you like on a tombstone? He was a real piece of shit. No changes. Oh sorry I misspelled some success it's almost better that way oh that's yeah seriously I love that drawing that is an excellent drawing okay the blue shirt that's my rendering of a beach I love it people Oh, and that should get this baby out of me. I'm sure the point of this is not for me to clarify. Perfect! This is why I hate games. I love it better that way, Mary Jo. No, seriously. Get this baby out of me. Thank you. Thank you. what's up everybody how's it going jupiter says hello hello hello starshine the world says hello what is that from That is from the Johnny Depp, Willy Wonka and the Charlie Factory remake. Oh, I only saw that once and then I instantly forgot everything. Yeah, I was just like, nope. I mean, it wasn't terrible. I just remember being kind of disappointed. And the Gene Wilder version is like one of my favorite movies ever. So, yeah, it's hard. We saw that in a theater, and halfway through, the bulb and the projector in the theater burned out, so we all had to leave the movie, having only seen half of it. And so, me, at, like, thirteen years old, I'm like, well, I gotta see the rest of it. Maybe that'll make, like, it was kind of weird to begin with, but maybe it ends really well, and then it didn't, so. So, did you go, did they give you, like, a ticket to come back to the theater? I think they just refunded everybody, but... Did you ever, so when did you actually see, like, the end of that movie? Um... I don't know, like I did see it all eventually, probably like on like a church trip or something or like. Like the green room for the youth group, you know? Were you on a church trip the first time? No, I was in the theater with my parents. It's kind of rare that that happens. It's happened to me like two or three times in my life, and I remember them all very specifically. The first time was my mom took me and my brother to see the birdcage. And like two minutes into the opening, the screen just goes black, and then all the lights come on like, sorry, the projector is broken. get the fuck out uh the other time was uh I went to go see rogue one and they couldn't get the projector started so they just had to come out and tell everyone they were like uh look you can wait until seven p.m and it was like two o'clock or something to see the next showing or come back another time and then I just never came back um I mean I saw the movie eventually yeah but I think that was that guy in the theater was trying to save you all the heartbreak of watching Star Wars Rogue One, a new Star Wars story, but he sabotaged the projector. I don't know if we've ever discussed this before. Are you not a Rogue One fan? I don't think it's bad, but I just don't give a shit about any of the people in it. And I just don't care about watching that. And it's just like Star Wars member berries combined with all the new people I don't care anything about. You're describing everything else in Star Wars. Rogue One does not fit into that at all. Well, but the other Star Warses have characters that you can gravitate toward. Yeah, so does Rogue One. Are you kidding me? Oh, like the memorable character of Cassian Andor. Yes! They have two seasons of the show based on him. But he's the least interesting part of that show. you're blowing my mind right now and then and then uh lady lead whatever her name was jenner so and then there was there was jedi and also there's just a lot of parts that I thought were really weird like I thought it was weird that forrest whitaker dies after like for like they all die basically that's the cool thing about that movie but but he dies for like no reason like he just kind of falls over and then he just goes like you just go on without me fuck it I'm like wow you know you do have supporters in here someone said uh I hate rogue one sorry back to you um I you're insane man rogue one yes sarah b rogue one is the best star wars universe movie one hundred percent I don't know about the best I like uh you know the first two I don't know I don't think it's bad I'm not always people on here that's saying that like it ruins my childhood or something it's just I just didn't you know it's about the same way I felt about the last jedi I'm like it's fine it's not the worst one of these they ever made but I would okay I love the last jedi but I understand people it's not their thing like I get it and there's faults to it for sure but I I do enjoy that movie rogue one I'm like, I'm blown away by you saying it's, you're like not impressed at all. How have we've never debated this before too. I just like, yeah. Like the, the, the script I thought was kind of weak. All the new characters I thought were kind of weak. And I thought it was kind of lame how it was like, look, it's the, the, you know, you'll be dead guy. Look, it's, it's great. That's so it's, that's so such a small part of her. I mean, I know when that movie came out, everyone was saying that it was like, is like oh yeah look it's just a lot of star wars references and like yes there are references in there but they don't build entire plot lines around like revealing you know oh look c-three p-o and r-two-d-two no that's reserved for for bland lady who's the the lead of the thing and then wait you're talking about jen urso I just thought she was kind of bland I don't know and I thought it was I respect them for trying to give the Death Star's stupid port a reason to have happened, but I just don't care about that movie. Oh my god. How many times have you watched it? I've watched it like two or three times. I watched it in the theater, and then I watched it when it came out. A movie you feel kind of blah about you've seen two or three times. Yeah, I watched it in theater, and then I watched it at home after it came out because some other people in my house wanted to watch it who hadn't seen it. I love this, though, because... You know, it's I've always said, you know, I shit on the prequels all the time, but I've seen the movie. I've seen each prequel at least twenty times probably at this point. Right. So, like, I can't be like, like, there's obviously something that brings me back to these movies to watch them over and over. If you were really about Rogue One, you wouldn't have watched it two or three times. no I mean I've watched it like it's it's a you know it was like a thing where other people in the room wanted to watch it and then I like I had disney plus and I just put it on in the background while it was playing I love the idea of you I've seen a lot too and I also don't care for those but those are at least like weird and and they have like things in them that you don't know why george lucas did that and that's interesting to talk about at least and and rogue one is just sort of like blah I don't know Also, I don't understand why the story before episode four needs to be told. Because it's awesome? And Andor is awesome? And it's proving, like, yes, these... I feel like I'm talking to, like, a twelve-year-old where I just, like, made fun of, like, your favorite... No, Spider-Man's not uncool, actually. But did you watch Andor? Did you watch the entire season of Andor? And don't lie. Were you on your phone the whole time? Were you actually sitting and watching it? This is why it's hard for me to get caught up on things because when I do watch them, I put my phone away and I have to have everything quiet. That's good. I've seen the first five episodes. When they got to the prison thing, that's kind of when I stopped watching. Oh, you mean when the show goes from great to amazing? When he gets thrown in prison? I liked Andor the show. But everybody else in it besides Cassian Andor was more interesting than him, I thought. It's a show that succeeds in spite of him. It's like Seinfeld. You know how Jerry Seinfeld is the least interesting part of Seinfeld? Yes, but the entire... The character of Andor, it's the entire reason why Star Wars exists in a way. It's like if it wasn't for him, nothing would have happened. None of it. But there's nothing about him. Han Solo, memorable character. He does his quips. He's got a heart of gold, but he's a scumbag and he's played by... You know, like, charismatic Harrison Ford. This is insane. And then, you know, Cassian Andor, he's just, like, guy. I don't know. I don't know, man. I don't know. Emmy's backstage, like, throwing up hands and stuff. Look, Emmy, you got into, like, a three-hour argument with me the other day about how I didn't care for Star Trek Picard Season Three, so I don't want to hear it, okay? Like, I do like things, and when I like them, everybody goes, well, why do you like that, Matt? And it's like... I know it's just bro that's like controversial I feel like most star wars fans even ones that dismiss the prequels sequels and everything they're like yeah but rogue one is that's pretty cool I don't think it's bad I just it's not it's not one of my favorites oh yeah seeing darth vader like destroy you know fifty rebels in a matter of two minutes yeah yeah whatever but to me that's like when they try to make darth vader badass like that it's like it like that seemed to me in particular it felt like when you watch those movies online where it's like what if darth vader fought the predator what if what if batman fought darth vader you know people are losing their minds in the chat um I think I like the first couple I like the characters in the sequels I like force awakens a lot see I would rather watch like like rise of skywalker is not a good movie but I like those characters so I would be more likely to re-watch that before rogue one I feel like I'm just at a loss like I maybe we shouldn't do the show tonight I feel like off no I'm just kidding um the prequels though I I don't like those and I've seen those a gajillion times each but those so then you do like them there's just like weird things to pick apart and I liked them when I was younger the prequels and sometimes I rewatch them now like out of nostalgia because when you're eleven years old you're stupid but yeah tread will try to make vader badass the first time you see darth vader in episode four he like strangles a dude to death yeah that's not badass that is badass but when they try to like badassify him like to make things that into you know it's like it's like when you see those like images online where it's like like you know batman riding a velociraptor isn't this badass like you know it's like no he's badass and he's being himself it's This is the show. Alright, we have to move on. I just could not let that comment go because I love Rogue One. It's a great movie. It's fine. It's not my favorite though. And I don't like the characters very much. That's my final say. Okay, sorry. We're annoying people now. Let's move on. It's the Dumb Industries Mystery Hour. It's our show, dammit. We're now going to spend the next three hours just groaning about Guys, we're not really fighting. This is how Matt and I communicate. We just yell at each other. And we only yell at each other about crap like this that doesn't matter at all. I know. It's never about like real life or anything. It's like, how could you have not watched the Batman yet? And I'll freak out for twenty minutes. There are some people who are like that about stuff. Yes, you are. But when I say I don't like a Star Wars movie, I'm not consumed by it. I'm not one of these people that's going to make a four-hour YouTube video about how Kathleen Kennedy is destroying my childhood. I'm just like, eh. Look, Rushmore Yankee says Rogue One is the best. We can move on. So let's just move on. That's the final word. I disagree. It is the best. All right. I disagree. Welcome, everyone, to the Dumb Industries Mystery Hour. My name is Chris Gersbeck, and that guy is Matt Reiser over there, the Rogue One-hating person. I was trying to think of something quippy to say there, and then I couldn't, so I just let you talk. And this is the show where we recap the weak and dumb. and do all sorts of fun stuff. We're going to watch some weird videos and we have a theme for tonight as we do every week. Matt, what's this week's theme? Well, I'm so glad you asked. This week we were doing school sitcoms. So sitcoms that specifically took place in or around schools. They were mostly big, I think, in the late eighties, early nineties. I was kind of like their their peak. But I've got one from the seventies, one from the nineties. That's real depressing. And then two other ones. So, yes, that may or may not be one of the things I don't know. And yeah, and then we got some classics in there, so that'll be fun to watch. And then I've got like a little intermission video Froggy Wizard, yes, this is the new tagline for the Dumb Industries Mystery Hour and Super Dumb Bros. We bicker like old ladies. That's what we do. But yeah, we've got some really cool school sitcoms. I'm excited at the choices you've picked, Matt. We've already spent way too much time on this intro. I think we just have to dive right in. Whatever. What else are these people doing tonight? Well, actually, no, I'm sorry. Let's real quick just remind folks they can follow us on Blue Sky. I'm going to drop those links in the chat and Discord. The Dumb Industries Discord run by Emmy Martian and a great place to hang out with everyone. And also we'll be doing shout outs to folks who donate any dollar amount over at dumb-industries.com. Donate. a fun little thing we do we'll sing you a little song or do an impression or if you have uh if you have a weird scenario you want us to act out uh if you want matt and I to argue about something else we'll gladly do it we just have a show that's just like a debate team thing where it's just well it's weird because you and I have like we have very similar tastes I think to an extent it's just uh yeah you're insane and I'm not so you say insane I think albert says let's discuss solo oh you don't want to hear us get into solo you know like solo is fine I thought it was fine yeah it's it's it's a decent script it just looks like ass because they had to reshoot it real fast that poor ron howard though keeps getting fucked over by lucasfilm he made willow and that sucked and then or it didn't suck but it just didn't do very well and then he made solo and uh They keep trying to give Ron Howard chances and Opie keeps fucking it up every time. Stick to Arrested Development, Opie. Yeah. So, yeah. Shout out. So that's. We already have a couple here. Oh, very nice. Some good ones here. First one from Punk Nerd. Thank you so much. Thank you, Punk Nerd. uh from adam and adam kakaw uh they want henry kissinger and michael mcdonald to sing teen spirit like smells like teen spirit I guess I could I could I could do that uh should should henry kissinger maybe do like uh the verses and then I could uh michael mcdonald at the before the chorus Yeah, why don't you do the... Yes, I'll do the first verse. You do the hello, hello, hello, hello. Then we'll both do with the chorus part. Okay. Load up on guns. Bring your friends. It's fine to lose and to pretend. She's overboard and self-assured. Oh no, I know a dirty word. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello Now entertain us. I feel stupid. I'm contagious. Here we are now. Entertain us. Y'all are cool. And now fight me. A mosquito. My little beetle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I always hear the Weird Al Yankovic lyrics when I hear that song. Yeah, that's one of those few songs where the Weird Al version almost supersedes the original. It's like that. So funny. Yeah, Amish Paradise, too. Amish Paradise is that way. What was the Crash Test Dummy song? Every time I hear that, I just hear it. Once there was this kid who took a trip to Singapore. That's how I know about that story, how I still remember it to this day. Yeah. Um, thank you so much. We got another one here from Eric C. Oh, Eric McKeddon and blue eyed lady. Fourteen. Thank you so much. And they ask, can David Lynch sing? You've got a friend in me to cheer up a depressed brother. Ichabod tonight. Okay. So. All right. So I guess we should interact first and then you sing the song, I guess. Well, sure. Uh, so, um, Ichabod! It's David Lynch! What is it? What is it, you white-haired spectre from the Nethers? You look a little bit down. Can I help you with anything? Well, to be perfectly honest, my Zoloft prescription has run out, so I am feeling quite low tonight. Zoloft, I haven't tried that one yet. Anyway, I was thinking maybe I could sing you a song to cheer you up. Well, it's either that or I stick my hand in the garbage disposal, so give it a try. All right, this one is from the movie Toy Story. It's by my friend Randy Newman. It's called You've Got a Friend in Me. you've got a friend in me you've got a friend in me when the road looks rough ahead and you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed just remember what your old pal said boy you've got a friend in me that did help I do feel much cheerier thank you good I'm glad I could help by the way where's the exit I'm lost It's right past the Fruitopia machine down the hallway. Fruitopia, sweet! Remember Fruitopia? Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. I remember. Thanks, Eric McKenna and Blue Eyed Lady. All right. Let's just do one more. We have more in the queue here, but these all came in before we even started streaming. Oh, wow. Let's take care of this one. This one comes from our good friend Ryan S. Thank you so much, Ryan. Ryan, thank you. Ryan has requested Columbo asking Randy Newman about a murder, and Randy immediately confesses. All right. playing on the piano. Uh, excuse me, sir. Sorry to interrupt your song. You got a very nice thing going on here, but I was hoping you can help me with a few questions I have about this dead body that's right next to your piano here. Oh, sure. I'm Randy. What do you got to know about the piano over here? Well, not so much the piano, sir. Although you're a very good piano player, Mrs. Columbo, she loves all your work, but I couldn't help but notice there's a dead body right next to your piano, and there's no one else in this room, so I'm just wondering what happened here. Are you sure it's a dead body, or maybe it's a sex doll that I took with me? You know, it's a dead body, so he ain't breathing. He must be dead. Well, the body's in the floor and Randy's right here. Who could have done it? Alibi fear. So, uh, is that a confession, sir? I'm trying to think of a way to answer this question where I'm not legally culpable till my attorney gets here. Do do. Well, I understand that, sure, sure, sure. No problem at all, but, uh, I am gonna have to take you down to Central Booking. Well, if you're gonna take me in, I recommend you check my pockets, cause I got a box cutter and a baggie of Vicodin. Uh, just one more thing, sir. Uh... I don't know how to say this. It's kind of embarrassing, but when you were sitting down at the piano over there, I couldn't help but notice that your butt crack was hanging out. You just got to add insult to injury, don't you? Look, just put me in the car, okay? You got it, sir. All right. Thank you so much, Ryan S. Now we really got to move on. All right. We'll be doing that all night. We'll do some more shout outs at the next break. Let's get right into this week's web deals. um take it away first up we have amazing deals on the dumb industries website every week the best deals the best deals we only have the best deals over at dumb industries dot com slash deals this week you can get fifteen percent off all of our jigsaw puzzles promo code puzzles of fifteen um and a bunch of other stuff like uh twenty percent off all t-shirts twenty percent off all hoodies so check it out everyone when you said jigsaw puzzles all I could think of is that we were gonna start selling like some type of uh like escape room where we're like jigsaw from saw but we make our fans have to escape I want to play a game with you I've locked you inside this small janitor's closet. All you have to get loose is Frank Conniff's latest book. You have twenty minutes. Good luck. That's a good idea. But, yeah, everyone check out all the deals we have going on in our store. And we love you for it. Yeah, good stuff. So, yeah, so that's going on. Those are our dumb deals. And then if you're watching us on Twitch, hi, everybody on Twitch. Love you. Great way to support us. Use your free subscription on us. We've got new emotes on Twitch, too. Oh, very nice. There's some really cool ones. There's the Let's Get Dumb. There's You as Ichabod. There's Big Ed. Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get dumb. Me as Columbo. A bunch of cool ones. If you subscribe on Twitch, you'll get all those. Yeah, so yeah, so that's a great way to watch us. But if you'd just like to watch tonight's show completely ad-free, with no further commitment from you than just signing up and leaving with us your PIN number and the last four digits of your social security number, you can too join the Dumb Industries Mystery Hour Mystery Club. And yeah, dumb-industries.com forward slash mystery hour. This exact program you're watching now is happening over there completely ad-free, and we leave it up for an entire week until a new one replaces it. So if you miss us, you can check that out. Or you can kick in a little scratch, two bucks a month, and watch the whole back catalog. We've been doing this now for three years, four years? We're on our third season of the Mystery Hour. There's a lot of episodes in there. I say as the beginning of our episode has just been us arguing about Star Wars for twenty minutes and some people are watching like newer like like man they'll get good at some point. Oh, they've been at this for like three and a half years. Wow. Oh, maybe maybe maybe think about doing something else. But yeah, if you want to check out that back catalog, two dollars a month. And in fact, all of our plus memberships are free for the first month. So you can check out the back catalog of Marriage Appeal Show, all of Jackie's classes over at dumb dash industries dot com slash memberships. Yeah, that's fun. That's a good time. Uh, and then also all of our dumb plus memberships. Oh, did you already say all that? I'm just good. Yes. You segued all that in so nicely. I didn't even realize you were doing a completely separate thing. Uh, and then as always, we're, uh, having our, our mads download sales we do every week. We've been going through the mads are back, uh, from the beginning, starting at the beginning of this year. And, uh, it's kind of neat to see how far in the show you can get like throughout the year doing it that way. So we're at a night of shorts for we're at the tail end of season one, I believe right now. Yes. So that's what's on sale this week. It's six bucks through Sunday with promo code COFFEEBREAK. Just all one word. And that'll be our full Mads Friday movie tomorrow night on Twitch as well. So if you'd like a little preview of what you're getting before you get it, that will be happening right here, nine p.m. tomorrow. And what's that promo code again? COFFEEBREAK. COFFEEBREAK. I'm so glad you mentioned that because... sorry that was not intentional promise I was like I was like oh what happened wow that was weird hold on oh hold on why is it doing that what the is happening let me take the pre-show reel out here um what are you trying to do just trying to share the screen all right there we go okay It's the whole scenes thing. It's, it's on stream yard. They added this new feature and I'm still trying to figure it all out. Hmm. like why it's not showing you know right now like I would like it to yeah like every service ever you know they just uh right when you get comfortable doing everything they change how it all goes so it's yes uh enter hashtag coffee break you'll be in the running for a free download of the mads are back shorts before some really great shorts in that collection there yeah the coffee break one uh mainly that one um uh there's all the space angel shorts oh yeah that's right that's that one yeah it's a good it's a good one I always get this one mixed up with the third one who was our q a guest for this one again was it uh there wasn't actually this was I think wait what happened to matt He asked the question and it's bailed. We didn't have a Q&A guest for Night of Shorts before. I believe that was our anniversary show. Hey. I just completely got it just taken offline. That was weird. We're having a great time. Dan Wally says you're being deported. Scary stuff. The Star Wars police came and got me. um while you guys are getting your entries in there let's do some more shout outs this next one yes this one comes from paul r who we suspect is actor comedian hey every man him and helen hunt wrote in last week that's right so uh all right is uh it's on the line how can we thank paul maybe we should sing about you theme song as someone Help me why? I don't even know if I know the Mad About You theme song. It's better that way. That was one of those shows that was just like, what? Why was it so popular? What was so good about it? You know what I could do? Uh, I could do, uh, as Gollum, the song, uh, call me by Blondie, but, uh, follow me as, uh, okay. So, uh, so. Uh, one, two, three. PAY ME! PAY ME! I'M ALONE! PAY ME! PAY ME ANYTIME! PAY ME! PAY ME! I'LL ARRIVE! YOU CAN PAY ME ANY DAY OR NIGHT! PAY ME! Oh, look at this. We also have Paul Revisor on there. I love just the celebrities that tune into the show every week. It blows my mind. Our famous friends. Thank you so much, Paul. Let's see. We've got another one here. This one's from Lazulia. Lazulia. Thank you. Lazulia, who we had an unboxing video for Lazulia on Tuesday's show, which we're going to talk more about. Lazulia says, couldn't let go of this thought all week. Goddamn cat's now going to end the show. We're struggling tonight. Oh my God. Zach. Not case. Lazulia says, uh, couldn't let go of this thought all week. Uh, someone has a vision. Wait, someone, someone has a vision like in baffled. Only the murderer is using mayonnaise. It's a hair product. Um, Let's see. Who would be good to be having a vision? I'm drawing a blank on all of our impressions right now. Oh, my God. I know. I'll just do David Lynch as a vision. I don't know. I guess I could do Michael McDonald, I guess, some more. I don't know. I have this weird thought in my head. It's like, there's a man with some mayonnaise. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Man with the mayonnaise, doo-doo-doo-doo I had a vision in my dreams the other night I saw a man with creamy white hair He was taking the light out of someone cause he was killing them If you find mayonnaise in the bathroom Then that's the bathroom of the killer And if you find conditioner in the refrigerator, that's just because I'm drunk. oh big ed why you use mayonnaise in your hair uh thank you so much all right we've got some more here in the queue we'll do some more at the next break let's pick a wiener here for the free download of the mads are back a night of shorts four four four four four It'd be cool if we got up to the magic back four, four, four, four. Oh yeah. And Campbell, wait, is that Michael Campbell from QED who used to, we used to see all the time at QED. I wonder if it's you, Michael, we miss you. Drop a comment in the chat. Um, send me that Michael. Uh, you're also cool in Campbell. Yeah. Why not? Uh, send me an email, Chris at dumb dash industries.com. I'll get that download sent right out to you. I hope you're doing well if you are mike campbell that matt and I know if you're not you can off fog off uh also just want to mention this before we move on to this week in dumb uh dumb it forward is a new program we have at dumb industries where oh that there we go where uh Folks can donate or, you know, pledge a purchase of something on the Dumb Store. It can be anything. T-shirts, books, audiobooks. And then we're going to raffle those off on the first of each month. And the first one we're doing is we're going to pick three winners. And each winner is going to win all three dumb audiobooks. That's two of Frank Conniff's books and Jackie Naiman Jones's books. all you got to do is enter your email over at dumb dash industries dot com slash dumb it forward and we're going to be picking winners on Tuesday and then you'll get the secret track as well which is just four minutes of me just whispering to you that plays after the audio book goes off if you fall asleep with it on like a secret track on an album you got to throw in a secret track you got to mess with the people who fall asleep to it does anybody throw in secret tracks on audio books like they do now should be a thing um yeah head to dumb-industries.com forward check all that out all right let's move on to this weekend okay let's try to fly through these because we're we're like way behind um okay speaking of being way behind did you see the nintendo switch news today what you can is it delayed Well, no, they did a Nintendo Switch Direct earlier today where they announced that you can, like, lend people games that you've bought in your personal library now, and there's, like... Whoa. And there's, like, a couple new things they announced game-wise. It's like the last Nintendo Switch event before they do the Switch, too. I like how as soon as I say, let's fly through these, you bring up something completely unrelated. I know, that was a joke, but then you were curious about it, so I just had to keep going. You brought it up. Of course I'm going to be curious. That was a joke. Friday, March twenty-first, it's the next Mary Jo Peele Show Clubhouse Chit Chat and Tidbits. Well, it was, yes, on Friday. We had an all-new Chit Chat and Tidbits on Friday, which is our Clubhouse-exclusive livestream where Mary Jo and I just go live, hang out, shoot the shit. We discussed all sorts of great stuff there that evening, and it's completely unprepared. We don't have any kind of outline. We just chat with friends. And... They just got the works of Dianetics... Joseph Smith was brought up in detail. Oh, yes. We discussed the Mall of America, Marketplace, Horror Stories, going to Olive Garden and Times Square, all sorts of stuff. And that's on demand in the Marriage Appeal Show Clubhouse. We finally murdered a guy in Atlantic City. Sharp Doggie says, chew louder, Matt. There we go. What are you eating? Um, They make these Reese's peanut butter bars now where it's like an entire bar of Reese's peanut butter infused chocolate. Is that your dinner? I mean, basically. I'm going to eat after I get off the screen. I didn't have time to eat before, so I ran down the street to get a Coke and a candy bar. Amazing. um yeah so that was friday marriage appeal show clubhouse chit-chat and tidbits on saturday we had an all-new jackie naman jones the hands of paint I'm gonna switch brands here so we can take a look at some student paintings we did uh prince of space was the movie and we painted crank core the villain from prince of space crank and that sounds like a type of music like are you into crank or music yeah There's some really good ones. I wanted to show a few here. This one is the Phantom of Spring by Ingo Wolkmuth, which we're going to have to put on a digital holiday card. He kind of looks like the guy from Sesame Street who was I think he was like Mr. Noodle. He looks like that guy. I could see that. Sure. Let's see. This one. Well, this is mine. This is called Crankor. I hardly knew her. nice um this one waluigi energy to tim I know it's weird I was like looking off camera um this one is cool oh yeah this is breakfast of crank horror oh love b jones egg oh I love this one this is prince of space by rebecca biggs oh nice I see what you did there this might have been my favorite uh this is by dan willis this is called shut up no eye contact Yeah, that rock. Matt, you're making your way into people's artwork and dreams and nightmares. I love it. I think in a couple years, when all my dreams fail, there's going to be people who vaguely remember this. It's going to be like a Freddy Krueger type thing where they're like, where did you see that face before? Because I see that face sometimes. And then they'll all remember that they, thirty-five years ago, watched a live stream with a mentally ill guy doing a demon dance. This one's great. This is Spaced Prince drifting through the cosmos by Shade. nice um really some really great good stuff pieces up there go check them out they're all in a student gallery and uh if you sign up to become a student your first month is completely free um and there's a lot of uh it's just such a fun hang I I urge all of you check it out we do them every fourth saturday of the month and every second saturday of the month yeah and we got some some new jackie stuff in the works right now too we're actually it's true working on this weekend so uh so stay tuned if you like those two classes there may be a little more where that came from the future I hate that entire reese's bar way too fast now I'm all burpy I'm trying to like talk on the stream I'm like like so anyway yikes uh the next thing we got coming up is Like, just take a pause, John. Okay, yeah, so that happened on Saturday. And then Monday, we had the next Super Dumb Brothers. We played, it was chapter one of our two-chapter Ghostbusters playthrough. I'm calling them chapters now. It makes them sound more official. I'm all for it yeah we played uh well you played some retro ghostbusters games they're really terrible and then I played um the remastered ghostbusters game that just came out well it came out like years ago but the remaster came out somewhat recently yeah because yeah all the original voices come back for it it looks pretty yeah and it's actually written by them and everything so oh yeah it's like it's like the unofficial ghostbusters three it's uh um but yeah that was so much fun that's on demand in the super dumb bro super club um we do that every monday next week we'll be doing more ghostbusters game um for part two uh and then on tuesday we had an all-new episode of the marriage appeal show you guys might have seen the little preview at the beginning but we had our friends josh and colette flowers come on and um we played tko a game that we've played on super dumb brothers a few times um my hand movements for for tko you got to do the uh like the mac from obi sunny like this is weird like fight dancing it's the sound so um yes that episode is on demand we and we had such a fun night playing games with everyone we think we might be doing more of that so stay tuned uh tko is such a fun game to play with you guys and uh yeah yeah are there any plans to put the winning shirt into the store or was that yes um well also we realized after that as part of jackbox like you can just go to a link and you can buy any of the t-shirts people designed during the show it's wild yeah so I want to make one of those types of games but for like thong underwear where uh you can all design yes your own thong and then we can have the official dumb Industries thong with the design on it from one of them I mean I think we I'm pretty sure we can do that actually with oh we can have a thong made up I think we can do a thong everyone Can we make those pants up that were big in the two thousands that had like writing on the ass? Like we need one of those in the store. And it says like sweet or like juicy. It says like delicious. What was that? What a weird trend. What a weird time. You just see someone walking down the street and it says whore on their butt. I mean, come on. Oh, it was even worse. It's like occasionally you'd see one who'd like be wearing the pants backwards on accident. And so it's just like written across your front. And just that's like, you know, like delicious or whatever. We could make some pants like that. Yeah. They just say like dumb and big, you know, block letters on your ass. I think we could do that. I think we could do it. Let's look into that. We need to bring back all the two thousands passions. We're going to start with that and then we'll do jelly sandals after that. Okay, last night was Wednesday. We had an all-new Weird and Wonderful Wednesday Watch Along with Miss Emmy Martian. Here to give us the skinny on everything that went down is our very own... The straight dick on what's going on. Our very own Emmy Martian. Oh, man. Wait, Emmy doesn't have her camera on. Oh, there she is. There we go. Not straight. Not straight, Matt. That's a term that they use. Not straight. Oh, no. Wait a minute. She'll give you the straight dick on what happened down there at the bridge that night. I have the wrong volume on. I see what was going on there. Okay. Sorry. Now I can hear you. Hello. Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Yay, hey. Sorry, I had the Twitch volume on and yeah. You were delayed, I was delayed. Hello, welcome. I completely botched your opening too, so it's all good. There was some opening shenanigans there. All right. Hello, everybody. Calm down. Welcome, Emmy. I know you were going crazy during our intro because you wanted... No, I was just trying to get y'all to stop. I was just trying to get y'all to stop fighting. So you didn't. You didn't. I was trying to signal. Did people really think we were fighting? Break it up. Break it up, y'all, too. But I was just trying to, you know. But I feel like that's like ninety percent of what we do is like we discuss like we argue about. I mean, you know, Rogue One is the only movie that really understands the force like truly well. The force character in that is the only character that can. gets the force and the force is with me you watch those stupid those stupid jerry what's his name movies bar trek guy yeah whatever his name is I don't know oh jj abrams yeah him that guy that that jerry jerry jerry german abraham him he uh yeah yeah he doesn't he doesn't get it Jesus Jones. What are your thoughts on Rogue One? Do you like Rogue One? I mean, and Andor, which is going to be... Andor starts as soon as Daredevil ends. I can't wait. That's fine. But anyway, it is fine. It's also fine that you have your opinion, Matt. I'm okay with that. I'm not. Chris is not. I'm okay with Chris not being okay with it. I'm okay that he's not okay that you're okay with it. is that okay I'm not okay with people that have different opinions for me how often do I have to remind everyone that I yes master conflicting values that's not what I'm about the only time I think we've ever come close to having a real fight was over uh wireless headphones we oh yeah when you were trying to get me to switch from wireless headphones to wired headphones We did have a legitimate phone call. We had a screaming match. I think we were both under stress of other things, but that didn't help. It wasn't screaming, but you're like, Matt, you don't get it. I have it figured out. I'm like... This makes me feel better about myself, basically. This is all you've done. From all the times I've yelled at you? Yeah, exactly. I'm just like, oh man, okay, I don't feel like... You guys are painting me like I'm a monster. No, but that's the thing. I feel like you're not, so... no I was no I was I was I definitely deserved it I was being like super I was like you don't understand like the wireless headphones it gives me the freedom of motion and it's you know and I don't like having stuff over my ears and uh and uh and and now I just use uh wired earbuds and it's fine this this but that was this hand it drives me it drives me crazy matt it drives me crazy but I need it so that I can But I think that's pretty good. Matt and I have known each other for like eight years, and that's the biggest fight we've ever had was over headphones. Over wireless headphones. So yeah, so when we quibble at each other about Star Wars, that's just... The funny thing is, I picture this as y'all as twelve-year-olds getting in an actual fist fight, but about wireless headphones and broadcasting and stuff. I just picture that scene from what they live, the scene where he's trying to get him to wear the glasses and they have that big stupid fight in the alleyway. It's that with wired headphones. That's perfect. Put the headphones on! I expect your homework on the desk in the morning. Yeah. So, but last night we watched Peter Pan because that's what I, we didn't, I didn't come on here to just, like, distract and make the show twelve hours long, did I? Jesus Christ, Em, what did you do? Peter Pan, yes, it was wonderful. It was weird. It was, it had Tiger Lily played by Anna May Wong, the classic character. If y'all are familiar with Anna May Wong, she's just a Hollywood legend. I'll put it at that. Yeah, this is the silent. Nineteen twenty four version of Peter Pan, which is the closest to the original Peter Pan play that you can get. And the casting for Peter Pan was even done by J.M. Berry, the author, the original author of Peter Pan cast Betty as as Peter. So that's Mandok says Peter Pan is better than Rogue One. Yeah, I agree with that, I think. Oh, my God. It was great. It was a lot of fun. And I had probably the biggest turnout. Now, I do got to say briefly, I don't know who's here and who isn't, but I do have to say that, like, you know, there was a huge turnout and there was a lot of chat. I saw that. He had a huge turnout last night. It was amazing. Yeah. well as a mod you know sometimes I end up like you know you see something in chat and you've got a split second to make to make a decision and sometimes I end up deleting or modding or so if I if I deleted your post last night or something and you didn't say anything that you felt was that bad well it probably wasn't that bad I probably just pressed the button because I wasn't really I was, you know, sometimes you just, it scrolls so fast and you see a word and you're like, okay, well, I'm just going to click deny on that. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I just delete comments for fun. Sometimes I'm just like, I don't like that guy. That's hilarious. Everyone should join the Dumb Industries Weird and Wonderful Wednesday Watch Along membership, which is totally free over at dumb-industries.com slash weird. You can also kick in two dollars a month to help support Emmy and the show. And we've got And dumb industries, we're on fire. We've got so many cool things in the works. We've got so much stuff in the works, y'all. You have no idea. We can't even... My lips are sealed. We can't even say anything yet. Much like Belinda Carlyle, isn't it? Whose lips are sealed? Isn't that... Yes. Well, the Go-Go's, yeah. Was Belinda Carlyle in the Go-Go's? I always get the Go-Go's and the Bangles mixed up in my head. No, no. I could see getting the Go-Go's and Bananarama mixed up, maybe. Or Bananarama and the Bangles. I would get Bananarama and the Bangles mixed up more than the Go-Go's. That I can see. I feel like that's the six degrees of... This is just everybody disagree with Matt Knight about everything, I guess. Bananarama did stuff with Funboy Three, the guys from the specials, and Funboy Three covered Our Lips Are Sealed by the Go-Go's. So does that mean the Go-Go's is Ska? no the gogos are not ska are you sure because you said the specials and now I'm confused well that song our lips are sealed it's about uh terry hall from the specials they had an affair peter agreed that red track song sounded a little scotch chris so I um wait wait what's that Peter agreed that the the riff track song sounded Scottish on our stream that other day so you're you know I was playing around with chat GPT the other day because I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about and I asked is the riff tracks theme song ska and it actually it said although it is not traditional ska it does have elements of ska music these are the important debates of our times you know these are these are the things we're asking the important questions here at dumb industries and we're addressing real subjects that uh that concern real people so yes uh dan I'm sorry yes terry hall and she wrote the song together gogos did their version Okay, interesting. And Funboy Three did their version. I like the Funboy Three version, too. I'm glad I said something. I learned something new every day. Well, I learned something new every other day because I'm a nonconformist. But still, I'm glad I learned something new because learning is cool. I'm trying to forget a lot of things these days. That's where I'm at. Stupid people are happier, I believe. So I'm just trying my hardest to... Ignorance is bliss. And speaking of forgetting, you can forget all about Weird and Wonderful Wednesdays next week because I'll be on vacation. That's right. But we're Wednesday off for Emmy. Every once in a while, you've got to... I'm committed to fifty weeks a year, so I think it's what my contract says. it's true it's in ink you know I've got a I've got a pump you've got like contracts and chris is like a like barry gordy from motown where it's like it's I own you guys you've got to produce you're gonna pay us fifty dollars for all our songs wow Also, we should mention this. No Weird and Wonderful next Wednesday. Also, no new Martian Shadows on Tuesday. We'll be discussing in just a minute what's taking its place. Martian Shadows will be back in May. Weird and Wonderful will be back on April ninth. Trust me, there will be stuff that fills in the void in y'all's lives there that will be We'll have some Emmy-shaped stuff later in the month. I love it. But also, next Wednesday, Wednesday after that, Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens. Yeah, we saw the trailer. What did you think of that trailer? Christopher Plummer, Nathan Lane. Yeah, everybody's in there. Alan Cummings. And Hathaway too, right? Yeah. Alan Cumming, who I'm so happy he's coming back as Nightcrawler. Nightcrawler. Yeah, yeah. We all saw that. That was the most exciting announcement. I love Nightcrawler. Let's take fifteen minutes to talk about the Avengers Doomsday announcement. That's what I expected to happen. I was like, why are they talking about Star Wars from twelve years ago when we could be talking about Doomsday? I know. Emmy, I'm not even going to ask you. You're sticking around for intermission. Let's just get right into it. All right. So the intermission video for today, I found... Online here, I'm getting the bed music ready to get turned off. So at Universal Studios in the early nineties, there used to be a Star Trek attraction where you could show up and they would film you and a bunch of people in your party and they would insert you into an episode of Star Trek. And that's what this is. It's like William Shatner and Mr. Spock photoshopped into a seven-minute long Star Trek episode starring tourists in Florida. And it's wonderful. You answered my first question, which was which track. It's like TOS Movie Arrow. Yes, yeah. Like around the time Star Trek came out. Oh, look at that. It's got the official fonts and everything. Oh, look, it's the center of the galaxy where God lives. What does God want with a starship? Is that what happens in Star Trek? God is in it? Star Trek V. Star Trek V is about Spock's half-brother steals the Enterprise to fly to the middle of the universe where God lives. And it turns out to be the Wizard of Oz. Basically, yeah. Star Trek V is not good, but it's kind of fun. But it's better than XIII or whatever. Oh yeah! Definitely not a reused shot from Star Trek II. Although this is a danger. Yeah, the hell the capabilities. They couldn't even shoot it on the same frame, right? Come on. Intent and serious about this video. The best assembled crew in the entire star. I am proud to serve with. It's picked up an unusual energy force emanating from the planet. Clearly a different ship. A pattern I've never seen before. My hot pockets already contact the planet have been unsuccessful. Please acknowledge signal. What do you make of it, Spock? Starfleet has changed its child labor laws. They're unable to respond. It's Kirstie Alley. They're unwilling to respond. I'm picking up a Klingon vessel. At least they knew what to do with their time. Oh, I would want to be one of the Klingons in this tape. Oh. Oh. that guy is like uh what oh this poor child yeah you have to die at war with aliens When you just really can't be bothered to put that much effort into your acting. This is like that scene in Airplane when everybody panics. Right. Wasn't that Nevis part of the Sixth Doctor? oh yeah don't you hate it when this happens oh my god they knew exactly where to hit us they did below the belt oh he changed outfits oh it's the whole flat button flat one button thing from the end of star trek two whole star trek three ending what the was that She was just saying, from my heart, I salute. From my heart. My heart goes out to you. It goes out to you. That's what she was doing. Yeah! Get it, girl! She's having way too much fun on this. This one, that lady, I want her to play Klingons for real. Not you. Get out of here. I wish everybody in this Klingon ship were real Klingons. They're clearly just, like, actually drunk, and they're like, you know what would be fun? We ruin the family's trip to Florida by being tanked in their Star Trek video. I don't know about that roused hour in Klingon, though. A strange energy force has rendered both the Enterprise and the Klingon ship... Unusual suspects. We're about to send Jor-El to the Phantom Zone. I know, it's just like, guilty. Guilty. Oh no, they're inside my ass. This is like how the colonoscopy footage looks. Oh no, it's like Bigfoot and Wildboy. They're getting smashed with rubber rocks. Yeah, get him, kid. That's what you blow the belt. Yeah, stupid wig. This orgy's off to a slow start. See, I told you Deep Sleep Nine wasn't good. This is an outrage! This is nice to be the production value of an episode of Marscape, though, so it's, uh... The first side of feet with Max Tusk in its entirety! With all the stops as Lindsey Buckingham intended! The nine minute long version of Para written on cocaine. Yeah dude, Bella did a better job than this in frickin' Ride of the Monsters. I thought this was going to be one of those pinnacle porn videos. Okay, I'll be late. The guy on the left looks like the bass player from Pantera or something. We'll crush you. They stole this opening from the opening of Lower Decks, didn't they? Oh, I was going to say they stole this from that Arkham Knight video I believe in a game called Love. I think that happened in that video too. I keep expecting that Klingon to have like a six pack of bush or like high life or something. I know he looks like such a like a frat dude or something. Frat Klingon. Who's party? Yeah. We are going to play some cornhole down by the pond, Razor. I think they were doing their sorority pledge there. Go D-E-L-T-A. We believe there is great hope for you, for you are not as different from each other as you may believe. They ran out of shat in their budget. If you fail to become allies, the other path will bring you ruin. Farewell. Okay. Bye-bye, Nana. I love you, Merc. Kiss me. I don't understand how they couldn't... How the Klingons are so bad. Mr. Scott. We'll be going to Warpsby. Rally all the children in your engineering deck, uh... And then you get done with this and they give you like a crappy VHS tape of this. There's like your name on it and stuff. That would be pretty exciting though, right? Well, except for the Klingons needed to be better. I feel like if the Klingons were better, it would be exciting. Oh, they were having fun. It was fine. Kyle got to climb on one of their backs and hit him with a rubber rock. Oh, a stinger! Um, yeah, you know, we had lowered expectations back in the, in, in those days in the eighties, I guess. Um, Emmy, you have to stick around cause we have a couple of things we gotta, we gotta discuss. Just like I said, contractually obligated. You're contractually obligated to hang out for coming scene. Yeah. Okay, I'm definitely not drinking during the show. So Tuesday, April first, twenty twenty five, April Fool's Day. Happy April Fool's Day, everybody. We do not have any plans to do anything silly or goofy, but we are going to deviate a little bit from what we normally do because it's a rare open Tuesday that we have. And I didn't feel like throwing the Ichabod get up on again after we did it just so soon and it was already too close together so what's something else fun that we like to do that we can fill the time with we thought to ourselves and the answer we came up with it was let's do another matt tv so we're doing a matt tv matt tv yes that'll be what you would say right on our website dumb dash industries.com slash matt tv you can register now totally free to join um And for those of you that don't know, Matt TV is just where I play radio DJ for the night. Basically, I do a couple hours with music videos. Yeah, I guess I should say it's so much fun. Matt, you're an amazing VJ. Like Martha Quinn or like downtown Julie Brown or other Julie Brown. As long as you don't say VJJ. Oh, God. Yeah, that's going to be Tuesday, April first, because that's taking the place of Martian Shadows, as we mentioned earlier. But now this is really exciting, guys. Tuesday, April eighth. we're debuting something matt and emmy you guys have not even seen this yet but we're going to watch the trailer for what now it can be told oh we have a trailer oh here we go just like months ago we've been yes we've been sitting on this for a while I will say no more let's watch the trailer Thank you. I'm just basking in it. I'm just basking in the glow and the warmth and the awesomeness. Artwork by Carmen Serra. I have to give him a shout out. This is so exciting. Movies Are Dumb was now the show that I produced at QED pre-pandemic for a few years. Frank Conniff used to do it all the time. Matt's done it a bunch. We had so many great comedians just come in and riff on terrible movies. And we're testing this out. We want to see what you guys think of the idea of Matt, Emmy, and myself riffing on really bad movies. And the distinction between this and the older Matt, Emmy, Chris things are those were more kind of watch party-ish. And this is more like we wrote shit for this. We wrote, we recorded stuff. This is going to be good, y'all. We had so much fun recording it and then just working on it. It's one of those things. I don't tend to watch stuff back a lot, but this thing, just from editing, and I'm like, this thing is so damn funny. I can't wait for people to see. We did this a couple months ago, but we've just been waiting until the right time to drop it. Yeah. And we had, you know, like with the, the mads and stuff, we were just trying to find a good place to, to slot that in and everything. And, uh, and yeah, it's, uh, it's, it's, we wrote shit. Did I really say that? We wrote shit. And that was what Matt said, I believe. but what we do our other watch parties we just like show up so uh yeah this is like uh it's a production and we're gonna be debuting it on twitch on april eighth and that is gonna be on demand uh we'll have more details about that soon but I hope everyone can join us for the uh yeah for the premiere And we may or may not make a piece of merch or two inspired by the merchandise that shows up in the film. And Yeti, Giant of the Twentieth Century. I mean, it's just one of the funniest things I've ever seen. There's so much love and joy and fun and energy put into this recording, y'all. I have seen some rough cut stuff of it as well. Yeah. it I it was cracking me the hell up I know yeah I'm I'm so I'm so excited to see the finished product because the the story like just as a like a like an elevator a nutshell pitch to everyone it's essentially what if king kong but about a yeti and made by italian people in the early eighties So everybody's dubbed, everybody's, you know, it's great. And I'll be watching that on the train ride back, I think, or something. I'm not sure. What is that, Tuesday? Tuesday, April eighth. That'll be right before I come back for the next Weird Wonderful Wednesday. Nice. Bart Fargo is asking, is this the same as Yeti Der Schneemanschnash? Yes, it is that same movie that I used the trailer for in an older Mary Jo Peele episode. I've used it a couple times for Mads. Yeah, for whatever reason, I can only ever find the German trailer, but it is an Italian production and they would like it. And they did it how they used to do Italian movies back then where they'd have like an international cast and everybody would just be speaking their own language at each other and just like dub it all into one language depending on where it was going. So like some people's mouths moved to what they're saying and some people's don't. It's one of those. It's a very good way to make a movie. I remember the trailer and when we watched this movie, like I still was unprepared. Like even having seen the trailer a couple of times in the pre-shows. We were dying. When we watched it, it's so much better. It's so much better than that trailer. If you saw that trailer, don't let that, don't let that like. Yeah. yeah don't let that cloud your vision or whatever I don't know what's the I've lost my I don't know don't let don't let this dumb movie about a yeti be spoiled for you by this the spoilerific trailer uh uh but yeah everyone uh we'll have more info on that soon but Really excited to get the trailer and finally have a date to release this. Someone, I think it was Rocket Dave said, I'm assuming this is why Emmy picked the Abominable Snowman for us to watch several Wednesdays ago. You guys are smart. Yeah, we were going to debut this last month, and then things got held up a little bit. Yeah, that was half the reason why we picked Yeti, because it was like we were coming off the Christmas season. It was still kind of cold, so we were like, what kind of cold-ish movie we can do that's not Christmassy? Yeah, yeah. then we just wound up doing it in April anyway it'll still be fun it'll be better than you can ever yeah anyways it's a lot of fun it rocks y'all are in for a great time there's a song in the riff that I've had stuck in my head on and off for months now at this point now does this come does this come before Return of the Yeti or does this come after Last Yeti Is this episode seven, the last Yeti, or is this... Wait, of what? Of Yeti Wars. Of Yeti Wars, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Matt got my joke. I appreciate you following along. Sorry, that went over my head. My favorite's The Phantom Yeti, which is about a tiny child Yeti who is rescued from slavery and then destroys a starship. yeah I've ever told y'all my theory on bigfoot I probably have in one of our recordings I guess what's real but he's probably just a large hairy man who's living off grid and when people see him it's just like a giant you know you mentioned this at least twice every episode we do there's just a big zach wild guy out you know like it's just you know He's really old by now is what I'm thinking, though, Matt, if that's the truth. But there's there's multiple people at this point who have had to just like, you know, like in Gruber style, almost. So it's just it's just Alan Moore, basically, is what you're saying. Bigfoot is Alan Moore. Bigfoot is Alan Moore. That's that's not a bad. It's not a bad sentence. Yeah. Emmy, we already have you here. We're almost at the end of the show. Do you want to just hang out? Okay. All right. Let's do one more. We got one more big announcement. We've already announced this, but Tuesday, April fifteenth at eight p.m. Eastern is going to be the next episode of the Mads are back. We're doing an all new live episode. And this is going to be a night of springtime shorts, which I'm so excited about. We're going to have a poster artwork real soon for this. Carmen did some amazing work for this. But you can right now get those tickets on sale at dumb-industries.com slash a night of springtime shorts. It's going to be awesome. The shorts are really good, this one. I like some anytime shorts. They're a little bit shorter. They're above the knee more so than like a cargo short is more of a late summer, right before fall type of short. What are your thoughts on boxer shorts? I'm a jams girl myself. I grew up with jams. If you don't know what jams are, we were talking about jams the other night. They were the ones that went past your knees so that you could basically get away with dress code because that was what the dress code said in all the schools. Your pants have to go below your knees because you weren't allowed to wear shorts, so they just made shorts that were too big below kids' knees. uh yes everyone get your tickets for the mads are back vimeo pulled a fast one on us man for years we've been doing pre-orders on vimeo on demand and now they without reason without their product specialists even knowing now we don't do that anymore no pre-orders so can't do a pre-order for this one but uh okay We also can't do one for Yeti or else we... I know, we were going to do a pre-order for Yeti, but it's so frustrating. I didn't even realize that you called them and they were basically just like, huh, I guess we don't do that anymore. Yeah, it took them four days to find out, oh yeah, we don't offer that anymore. It's like, you're the product specialist? You don't know that a major feature was just removed without any notice? This is the shit I have to deal with. uh okay but anyway tuesday april fifteenth also happens to be my birthday so you're all required to come legally three days so it's a yes my birthday's tax day yeah matt's birthday is april twelfth so uh you guys have to be there you gotta come gotta come Got to do it. It's written in the rules. When you sign up for one of our memberships and the giant terms and conditions you sign, that's one of the myriad of things that you agree to. does that make you both aries is that yeah yeah oh that's that explains a lot it does it does don't you love when people say that when they're like you tell me and they're like oh yeah that tells me a lot about it yeah is there anything really even to like signs because I I feel like there's there's not I mean like I know the moon does stuff that's how like periods which I still understand Ares is supposed to be the beginning of the cycle and y'all are tended to be a little bit more like bullheaded because you've never really done anything before. You kind of think that you could just do whatever and you don't really think necessarily about the consequences and you sort of charge straight through things. That's the stereotyping of Ares. I think the reason we are the way we are with our birthdays is that just April's a bad time to have a birthday. Like in school growing up, it was always when like exams and stuff were happening or, you know, and now as an adult, it's like when tax stuff is happening. So it's just, it's a lame time of year. So you're just kind of, so that's why we are how we are. Yes. All right. We should get into our future presentation. Yeah. School sitcoms. It's that time. Thanks for watching everybody. Yeah. Thanks for hanging out. Let's get right into our future presentation. Oh, yeah, what are we doing next week before we get into it? Next week, I know we've picked out the entire month of April. And for Mystery Hour, we're going to be doing... Oh, wow, this is a good one. We're going to be watching prank shows. Oh, yeah. Prank shows. Shows like Scare Tactics, Punk'd. There's a bunch. The newer candid camera maybe. I was going to say candid camera, right? Yeah. Uh, but yeah, that'll be fun. So come back next week for that. But, uh, but yeah, tonight we are watching, uh, you've made it to the, the, the meat of the program. Uh, we're doing school sitcoms tonight in the eighties and nineties. We were overwrought with a myriad of programs that took place in schools and classrooms where like the classroom was like the, the main set. And then you had just like a wacky group of kids, you know, and, uh, and uh and I have a couple picks here that I think are diverse enough for being some a similar topic that there's you know you can kind of oh are we still doing diversity I thought I thought they cut that out that was over right it's as diverse as a bunch of shows about uh white people in the seventies so it's uh but I've got like one one or two from like the seventies early eighties then one from the two thousands as you'll see here in just a moment. M. Campbell. Congratulations. Congrats again, M. Campbell. You did it. There we go. Okay, so here are an episode of Welcome Back, Cotter. I will have you all know this is an episode about a telethon, I believe, that I found. Welcome back, welcome back. John Travolta, Gabe Kaplan, the guy from Nightmare on Elm Street, or Friday the Thirteenth Part Six, who helps revive Jason, who played Horshack, all those guys, good stuff. Yeah, Horshack randomly shows up in Friday the Thirteenth. Well, I know, but that's your touchstone. Go on. That is my touchstone, yeah. Next up, we have Degrassi, The Next Generation. This episode, I wish I could have picked the one with Kevin Smith in it, but it was a little long. This one is parodying Breakfast Club, I believe. For those of you that never watched Degrassi before... a show that was on can't like canadian television for like a decade I think next generation ran it ran a really long time and it was like sort of like a soap opera for kids they tackled a lot of heavy subjects drake was on it uh before he became a big rapper and then later a cry baby who gets owned and uh rap battles uh so uh so so there's there's there's there's that Degrassi. Next up we have Head of the Class. This was another eighties show that took place in the classroom. I believe this one had Tan Schneider in it. Oh yes. Of Better Off Dead fame and numerous weird Nickelodeon stories from his time. I expected this one to be salute my shorts that's a summer camp is that okay yeah that's more a summer camp because yeah like I was looking at like hey dude and stuff too and debating on that that's a ranch that is a ranch yes I've seen all these shows And then lastly, we have Saved by the Bell, the new class. I found we'd done Saved by the Bell a handful of times on the show. I didn't want to just go straight for the normal thing. So I picked an episode of Saved by the Bell, the new class, which was in the early two thousands. I think the only it's the nineties. Yeah, the nineties. And the only returning cast members were Screech and the teacher. And no, no, no. Zack and Slater and Screech are all in it. Oh, Zach. Okay. I don't think. Oh, and Kelly is. But I don't think Jesse Spano, Lisa Turtle, Belding. I think you're thinking of the college years. The new class is a different show. Oh, the new class. I'm sorry. Yeah, I was thinking of the college years. Yeah, but the new class is just Screech and the teacher. Oh, so that I haven't seen much of at all. So that should be interesting. And I have two different episodes for you to pick from, Chris, if we get this one that's very early on. Because New Class ran for like seven or eight seasons, so I have one from very early on. Yeah, I was on way longer than you were. Later on, if you want to watch an older Screech, be more pathetic, I'll leave that to your discretion if that one gets picked. Dan Wally is asking, I believe this one does have John Travolta in it as far as the Welcome Back Cotter there, which has my pick there. John Travolta does show up in this episode. That's what I'm rooting for, is the Cotter. So yeah, and then lastly we have Stan Lee's Stripperella. It came back from the dead last week during our wild card episode, and the people really want to see it apparently, so you have another chance at watching Which reminds me, why am I here for this and not Silver Surfer? Damn it. I know. Guys, we have six donations here. I really want to give everyone a shout out here. Let's try to get through these as quickly as possible. Oh, and I got... Oh my god. Hold on. Okay, here we go. First one. is from, oh, we already did that one. This one's from Adam Noble. Adam, thank you, Adam. Adam says, I'd like to hear either David Lynch or Columbo recite the Luthan speech from Andor, the one with burn my life to see a sunrise I'll never see. I do like the idea of doing movie quotes and stuff. Yeah, I was going to say, I'm not... I mean, I know what he's talking about there. Yeah, it's like the very... Not like I could... to do the tears in the rain speech from blade runner later when whenever y'all give me feel free to just send on those shakespearean soliloquies any old time and uh um let's see I'm gonna just do a couple lines from this this is david lynch um here we go Calm, kindness, kinship, love. I've given up all chance at inner peace. I've made my mind a sunless space. I share my dreams with ghosts. I wake up every day to an equation I wrote fifteen years ago from which there's only one conclusion. I'm damned for what I do. My anger, my ego, my unwillingness to yield, my eagerness to fight. They've set me on a path from which there is no escape. I yearn to be a savior against injustice without contemplating the cost. And by the time I look down, there is no longer any ground beneath my feet. What is my sacrifice? I'm condemned to use the tools of my enemy to defeat them. I burn my decency for someone else's future. I burn my life to make a sunrise that I know I'll never see. And the ego that started this fight will never have a mirror or an audience or the light of gratitude. So what do I sacrifice? Everything. Just a few lines. All right. Good job. Thank you so much, Adam. All right. Next up, we got Spirocythe, who wants to hear Carl singing Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. And I have a meme. Matt, why don't you start singing? I'm going to get the meme up here. All right, Dan. You want to hear about that there girl who never stopped believin'? Well, you want to know I got enough time here in the nervous hospital. I can tell you all about it. Mm-hmm. She was just a small town girl, not much bigger than a squirrel, living in her lonely world. She took that there midnight train going anywhere. He was just a city boy, not much bigger than a squirrel himself, born and raised in South Detroit. He took the midnight train going anywhere. They was in a smoky room together, smelled like wine and cheap shampoo or potted meat or whatever it smells like in there before a smile they could share that their night and go on and on and on and on would you kill the night for would you kill the night All right, that's amazing. Spirosite's got his meme here for this one. It's so funny. This is Matlock, and that's Matt as Matlock. You really look different when you have a whole, when you have Andy Griffith's body and hair on your face. And that's Big Ed there. What's on your, and that's you as the judge, what's on your desk? It looks like a bowl of olives. Did we talk about olives? Oh, yeah, olive penis. Oh! Oh, the olive penis. Yes, of course. How could we forget? Of course. How could you have scrubbed that? Is the witness carrying a cup that says Merle Haggard on it? It does indeed say Merle Haggard, and I believe that is a picture of Merle Haggard as well. Are we talking about Merle Haggard? I don't remember that. well I bring up that merle haggard shows up and follow that bird the sesame street movie because that's the only time I've been talking about he does show up I saw that movie in the theater and I'm a big fan of that movie thank you so much spire said all right next one here this one is from lucius Thank you so much, Lucius. Thank you. Lucius says, Gollum and Columbo VJ, a late-nineties alternative rock show on MTV. All right, well, we're just back from the break here, and I really enjoyed this next piece. It's from a singer called Michael Jackson. Yes, precious souls, and after that, we will be back with a new hour of Headbangers Ball, precious souls. Alright, we're doing nineties, okay. Uh, and then after that, we'll have a marathon of, uh, Yo! MTV Raps. Yes, preciouses, we're going to have, uh, Ozzy Osbourne and Zach Wilde are the guests on Headbangers Ball, preciouses, and then Yo! MTV Raps will be having Public Enemy and be learning about the Wu-Tang Clan. And don't forget to stick around for the Jon Stewart Show right after all of this. And we'll be giving away tickets to Loverboy later. All right. That was great. Thank you, Lucius. Next one here from Melissa C. No prompt whatsoever. Oh, that could be who we thought was Michael Campbell. oh but uh melissa thank you so much um how should we do a shout out um for whatever reason I've had the growing pains theme song stuck in my head a lot lately so uh so so here's that as a as sung by by randy newman uh This is for you, Melissa. Show me that smile again. Don't waste another minute on your quiet. We're nowhere near the end. Randy and Melissa's ready to begin. As long as we got each other. Randy can take anything. Coming at him, whatever. Neither rain or shine. Oh, God, we got another one. I skipped this one earlier. Well done, Matt. Thank you. Thank you, Melissa. From Rose F. Rose says, love you. Can Columbo issue a child support order to brother Ichabod for mistress? Of the damned. Um... Okay, uh... Uh, sir, uh... Yes, what is it? Is your name, uh... Would your name happen to be Brother Ichabod? Uh, actually, my legal name is Walter Mankiewicz, but yes, that is an alias I use for show business. Uh, well, Mr. Mankiewicz, I am, uh... Sorry to inform you, but, uh... You have a child support order from, uh, Gardenia, Mistress of the Damned. That's right, sir. You have to appear in court at this time, or you could face criminal charges. Well, that'll do. Okay, well, wait, just there, I have, uh, do you take, do they take traveler's checks? They might want to wait until next Wednesday to try and cash this! Uh, well, I can't guarantee anything, sir, but I will try my best. How about a gift card? That'll do. All right. Thank you. Thank you so much, Rose. Okay, last one, and then we'll pick our winner here. This one comes from Froggy Wizard. Oh, hey, Froggy Wizard. Thank you. Froggy Wizard says, had my gallbladder and a big old uterine fibroid yeeted out of my body today. Oh, my God. God. I hope you're okay. Could use a great small distraction only you guys can provide. How about Randy Newman and David Lynch singing a song together and Randy is about four beats off. So just how we sing things normally. So about four beats off. Just do like Billie Jean or something. Um. How do we, I'm trying to think, I'm sorry. I'm trying to, that's a great idea. I'm trying to think of the best way to go about it. Maybe I'll do row, row, row your boat. And then you come in like, you know, after I say row, row, row your boat. Okay. We'll do it that way. I'm just going to wait comically long though. Yes. Emmy, feel free to do the third version. Third voice too. Okay. Row, row, row your boat Gently down the stream Merrily, merrily, merrily Life is but a dream Row, row, row your boat Gently down the stream. Row, row, row your boat. Merrily, merrily, merrily. Gently down the stream. Life is but a dream. Randy, Randy, Randy. Row, row, row your boat. Life is but a dream. Gently down the stream. You got a boat. Merrily, merrily, merrily. Row, row, row your boat. Life is but a dream. Gently down the stream. Row, row, row your boat. Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily. Life is but a dream. Row your boat. Gently down the stream. That was insane. I hope we have first-time viewers who just tuned in just now and wondering what mental disorders we all have. The answer for me is obsessive compulsive disorder and bipolar too. Okay. Froggy Wizard, we hope you're doing well. yes that was a great idea thanks for watching tonight yeah all right let's see what are we which school sitcom are we going to watch I'm going to hit show results whatever's in the top spot is what's going to be wow yeah oh you guys are into the kata I I kind of had a feeling Once I saw Dan Wally ask that question, I mean, I kind of had a feel. I kind of know our audience, you know. Our audience might skew a little bit older. The people want Stripperella. I don't know the audience. There's always a third of every group that I'm like, who are you people? Who are you people? Who are you? Here we go. Welcome back. Welcome back. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, okay. Did you tell me about the time I went to visit my Uncle Moe Cotter in the hospital? No. Why don't you tell me about the time you went to visit your Uncle Moe Cotter in the hospital? Oh, man. I'm going to get my hair blown out like that. He was in an oxygen tent, and I went to see him, and he looked up at me. Is Gabe Apple in the most seventies with a man that ever existed? Yes. He had a sweater vest and a giant collar and a hat and a perm. That's what I asked my aunt. I said, what is he trying to say? She said, he's saying air hose dummy is stepping on the air hose. Why don't you have a Kleenex box on your arm? Yeah, let's go. One of the best themes, y'all. I used to imagine you're driving to the airport and it comes on the radio. Matt, Matt, it's my jam, yo. Matt, I think your volume is lowering again. In and out, I don't know what's happening. Well, I'm playing around with your echo cancellation, but I can tell your input volume is really low. Epstein. Let's hear it for Epstein. I know there's some Epsteins. Oh, Barbarino! There he is. Travolta. He's only in, like, the last two seasons. How about this? That's better. Oh, look, it's the Coen brothers. StreamYard, like, automatically adjusts your input volume on your Mac. It's weird. Pat Croft and Spid... Marty... This school looks like a better police station set than the police station set in that David Hasselhoff movie about Jack the Ripper we watched. There he is. Everybody in this room looks thirty-four years old. Nobody looks like a student. Well, they are a bunch of dropouts, so you know. Like they look the same age as the teacher. You think this man's Italian? So it's each season like a different school year or? I don't think they thought that far ahead. It's like, you know, when you watch M.A.S.H. and it goes on longer than the actual war it's depicted. Dear Mr. Carter, as usual, by the time I got around to Mimeo-ing the tests for your class, the Mimeo machine broke down. Now, here's a little story. We need to bring back accents like this. You don't hear people sound like this anymore. Oh. I'm the Italian Doctor Who. She's the one with the bazooties. Oh. That was ad-libbed. Probably was. Oh. promised all right look come on let's get to work okay someday I'll be in a movie directed by fred durst wasn't that funny I don't believe this two months ago I asked how can I reach these kids told me said I should pick one up at the gas station does he ever smoke weed on this right you need supplies and you need money well we could raise money there's plenty of ways to raise money someone should reboot welcome back cotter you could be a good mr cotter chris I can see that I got it I got it hey that's actually funny this performance is great the car wash I think we're gonna raise a little extra money on the hubcaps at the car wash were the sweat hogs like slow like I get that they were like yeah yeah I believe yeah I believe that's that's implied is that they're remedial learners that's just but like are they just like athlete dumb or are they like they need to be in like a special program because listening to some of the talk I don't know it's like Let's, you know, we live in a different time now. So, yeah. I-S-B. I-S-B. Like, I wouldn't trust some of the sweat hogs along with a pair of scissors. It's about time we get bent off the streets into the school here. Are you kidding? I'll take that bit. Mr. Carter. Mr. Carter. I wonder if his jeans are uncomfortably tight. They do owe a lot to the Bowery Boys. I think they used to pump nitrous into the studio audience in these tapings. When charities want to raise money, they always go on TV. I think there's just residual cocaine everywhere. That's it. It's just like a mist in the air. Or it's like that thing where people just found, like, lamer stuff funnier back then. It's like the comedy version of, like, that movie about the train that goes straight at the camera where everybody's like, ugh, you know? Yeah, I know the channel. The only time I can get it is if I hook my antenna up to my toaster. That's the one. Well, Mr. Carter, I feel that they would just leap at the chance for a sweat-hot telethon. Arnold, why don't you leap back to your seat? Marjo said Gabe Kaplan was thirty to thirty-four years old when the show was on. That's incredible. Nobody could possibly convince a television station to do a sweat hog telethon. Nobody in their right mind would even try. People just looked all the way back at him. We're all thirty-five years old and still in high school. We're dumb enough to try. Your sweat hogs have been treated in regard to supplies and I promise you it will never happen again. Ask me why it will never happen again. Is that Ray Milan? Why is that? Why will it never happen again? It's funny you should ask that, Cotter. I've been making some budget cuts, and unless the money fairy comes up with seven hundred big ones. Elon Musk and Doge came through when they said we don't have any money for you stupid football players anymore if you can't cough up the dough. You can't do that. Well, this isn't for the football players, unfortunately. It'd be fine if he was cutting the football players. Well, what were the sweat hogs? I thought they were the football players. You can't break us up. I mean, we go together. Like submarine and sandwich. You sweat hogs will be absorbed in the mainstream of the school, where you will never be seen or heard from again. That I don't know. It's not football related, though, Matt. Oh, is it not? I thought they were basketball or football. Someone can clear this up. No. Oh, Cowboy says no, Matt. They're just special. I thought that they were like athletes that were slow, but not like slow, slow. I've clearly never given this show a lot of thought, I guess. And I am going to convince them into doing a sweat hog telethon. So why were they called? Because I always assumed that the sweat hog was like a mascot or something, or they just called the sweat hogs because they stuck, or they just like... You guys suck. You're just the outcast. It's just the way of saying, like, we're the losers and we're proud of it. Like, we're the misfits. You call my TV station about it. Oh, Oliver, thanks for coming over. Well, I don't know how revolutionary it is. Hey, don't worry about it, kid. I'm a genius. Is that Doug Henning? Whatever you got, I can make it work. I got a telethon. I can't make it work. Oliver, look, it would be a direct remote right from this classroom. I've got an idea. I see. I see. Batman Monkey says they're remedial, not special needs. Okay. Students working on their own behalf. They're ambiguously slow. It's hard for me to keep up. Oliver, you're a genius. Oliver, you're a genius. Becky says sweat hogs are the dumb industry guys at their time. Hell yeah. Really? Those pants. Oh, my God. Did you see those pants? Yes. My sweat hogs can perform. They're almost like JNCOs. Whoa, phrasing. This guy looks like a cocaine detective. Those are my students, the sweat hogs. And they've got all sorts of talents. I'm sure you'd love them if you got a chance to see them. Was this pre-Carrie? It's definitely pre-Saturday Night Fever. I don't know if it's pre-Carrie or not. Probably like night before Carrie. See, this is cool because they get to do this when they normally, you know, The ambiguously slow quartet. The ambiguously slow quartet. Mr. Cotter reminds me of my choir teacher from middle school who was just like so checked out. He was just like... Can we do a little musical number next time we do something? Please. Little song, little dance, little selfie down your pants. His girlfriend looks like one of the Manson girls. He's distracting me. Tell your friend Squeaky you can hang out with her tonight. We're doing a telethon over here. I thought that was Mandy. I can't tell because of the glasses, but I thought it was Mandy. Look at those pants! Ugly seventies fashion needs to come back into vogue. Like all those awful colors. Oh, it already is. It's been back for a while. Like the, like the rust orange and like, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Okay. Oh yeah. There's a whole world of colors out there, Matt. Well, I know, but there's, but in the seventies, there was a color palette that was very big. Yeah. It's a very brown palette. Very brown. There's a lot of brown in the seventies. For earth tones, yeah. We were getting back to our roots as a civilization. I just think everybody was smoking back then, so those colors concealed nicotine tar a lot better. Oh, she took off the glasses. She did the Superman thing. Now they don't recognize her. If I take my glasses off on television, they won't be able to place me at Sharon Tate's house. Nice camera. Play it again, Sham. Let me make you smile. Tell me I could see. I'm doing my number. This is how to pull yourself together. The show must go on. Those kids are the sound off in the chat. If you'd like me to start wearing a beret on live streams, I'm going to invest one. Yes. I think you could pull off a beret, Matt. I think it needs to happen. I'm ready for a beret for you. That's more of like an artsy beret, though. Well, I'm hoping that maybe it'll bring a little bit more class. Like, it'll just sort of, like, sink into your brain pan the way, like, Chambrayne does through his whole follicles. There's, like, the artsy beret, like, he's wearing, and then there's, like, the revolutionary beret, you know? Move away. It's a win-win. My name is Mr. Cotter, and we'd like to welcome you to the Sweathog Telephone. Hello. Oh, yeah, the little guy with the short hair. What am I wearing? Oh, that's Juan Epstein, yeah. He does have very pretty hair in this. Hey, Juan, somebody wants to pay money to see your face. Get out in front of the camera. Somebody wants money for feet pics from you. You should send them some pics of your feet. Okay. We'll be right back with the rest of our telethon, so stay with us. We have a word from station, identification, and we'll see you in a minute. Who's filming all this, though? It's like they just got a camera. It says television on it. I think about this all the time. Anytime you're watching a show where they're making a movie or TV show in the show, it has to be so confusing because there's the equipment that's on the screen, but then there's the real equipment that's filming. Do you think the crew was ever like, is that the real camera or the fake camera? It's got to be confusing. I would imagine they just keep the real camera in shot. If you're the other cameraman, you've set it up so that the other camera is occasionally in shot. Yeah. See, if I were the crab, you worry that you bang your equipment up in a shot. And you're going to send in your money soon, right? Okay. Well, we'd like to start off right now with the boy you just met. This is at least as good a telethon as the one that we held last year. One piece live action is not as good as they said it would be. Oh, now this is the sequel to Beetlejuice, isn't it? This is basically what Matthew McConaughey got arrested for that one time when he was naked, right? The naked part, I think, is kind of key there. Playing my bongos, playing my bongos naked. Okay, then. That's at least as good as... The show is just a lesson in like, what if you're real stupid, but you just have all the charisma in the world? How far will that get you? Answer everywhere. Yeah. Two dollars, one dollar. Are those two guys like plotting to kill him in the background? Where are they? I have a knife and a blindfold under my desk. dime you say a dime everybody had the same here back then I know it didn't matter man woman boy girl if you didn't have curly hair like you got a perm oh yeah I wish I wish it was that easy now I'd go and get a panda tonight on Ed Gein Theater.