Super Dumb Bros. | Here Lies Glennis | Unisex ringer t-shirt

The year is 1848 and Glennis, Jimothy, Bort, Jedward, and Rustopher are set to leave Independence, Missouri to head west towards Oregon. The trip would not be easy. Loaded with enough food to feed the family for just several hours and enough ammunition to arm a large militia, the group quickly fell ill or otherwise had a really lousy trip.

Jedward caught measles. Jimothy got lost in the woods for at least a week. Bort caught cholera. Then Rustopher caught a fever, broke his leg and died. It wasn’t long before both Bort and Jedward also died. Jimothy soon followed.

It was up to Glennis, the sole living member of the group, to float down the Columbia River with all of the party’s belongings or it all would have been for nothing.

Then Glennis’s raft hit a rock and he drowned. What a piece of shit.

This lightweight cotton tee features a relaxed fit and contrast trims that give it a retro look. Wear it with jeans, shorts, or joggers for a laid-back everyday look.

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Heather Gray is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Fabric weight: 4.3 oz./yd.² (145 g/m²)
• Yarn diameter: 32 singles
• Side-seamed construction
• Regular fit
• Crew neck
• 1 × 1 baby rib binding on the neckline and sleeves
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua