Matt & Chris hop back into the Mystery Hour van to recap the week at Dumb and discuss this week’s topic: celebrity vehicle cartoons! You know, cartoons that existed solely to stroke the ego of whatever comedian some network prayed would be the next Seinfeld. Plus, Emmy Martian stops by to discuss CREATION OF THE HUMANOIDS, and Matt & Chris watch the Louie Anderson cartoon Life With Louie!

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This Week In Dumb:

Saturday, January 25, 2025 @ 8pm ET: Jackey Neyman Jones: The Hands of Paint | The She-Creature

Monday, January 27, 2025 @ 8pm ET: Super Dumb Bros. Play Back to the Future Games

Tuesday, January 28, 2025 @ 8pm ET: The Mid-To-Late-Evening Show with Mary Jo Pehl

Wednesday, January 29, 2025: Weird & Wonderful Wednesday Watchalongs: CREATION OF THE HUMANOIDS

Coming Soon To Dumb:

Tuesday, February 4, 2025 @ 8pm ET: Martian Shadows: Episode 11

Tuesday, February 11, 2025 @ 8pm ET: The Mads Are Back: Bride of the Gorilla

Friday, February 21, 2025 @ 8pm ET: Movie Jo Night: Doctor Strange (1978)

Feature Presentation: Life With Louie

Transcript: Stephen Flo Stephen Flo Stephen Flo It's Stephen Flo Oh Stephen Flo Stephen Flo is on his way Oh Stephen Flo Stephen Flo Stephen Flo Stephen Flo Stephen Flo Oh Stephen, Stephen's been thrown and he's been thrown away Oh hell yeah, Stephen lives somewhere I don't know where he is though Stephen's thrown Stephen's thrown, Stephen's thrown, Stephen's thrown Oh, what a dilemma. Do I stay or do I pee? Well, what if Eddie said was true? Mr. Toilet Man eating your pee-pee? Oh, well. I guess I really don't believe that. But then, on the other hand, what if there is a Mr. Toilet Man? Well, I think I better just turn the light on just to make sure. Ah, just as I thought. Just a regular old toilet, huh? I'm gonna tell Eddie about this. Eddie and his bonehead ideas. Hey, you! You little pisha! I'm talking to you! Oh no, what is that? Hey, you're supposed to give me some pee-pee! Where's that pee-pee? We're talking about pee-pee here! I need that pee-pee! Oh no, Mr. Toilet Man! Listen, I've had it with you. You better give me that pee-pee. Give it to me, or the next time you sit on me, I'm gonna bite off your tushy! Yes! Yes! Start making your noise. Start making your noise. Start making your noise. Roll around on the floor and make your noise, Alden. Can you make your noise? Alden, if you could start crawling on the floor and making some noise, that would be so beautiful. Cry for me. Crawl on the floor and cry like a little baby. Can you do that, Alden? Can you cry out like a little baby for the film? It would be so beautiful. Crawl over there and crawl around and cry like a baby. See, real loud. Can you do it? Can you do it? Crawl and cry like a baby. Alden, do that thing. That would be so beautiful. That's great, like that. Can you make noise? Keep making noise. Make some crying noise, some sad, loud crying noises. Don't be happy. Don't be happy. Roll around and be upset. Roll around and be upset. There you go. That's beautiful. Roll back the other way. Roll back the other way. Roll back the other way. Same thing. Roll back. Roll back. No, no, no, no. It's too happy. Roll again. Get over there and roll. Really in pain. Really in pain. Can you scream like you're at a concert? Scream out like you're at a concert. A rock and roll concert. Scream out. Scream out at the man at the door. I'm Lindy, and welcome to the world of Ghostbusters. On this rooftop, a spectacular battle was fought with an ancient demigod known as Gozer. That was strange. No. There's no such thing as... ghosts. Uh, you know, I never noticed these sound effects before. I'm such a thing as ghosts. I'm such a thing as ghosts. This is Lindy on Soundstage Fifty. Calm down! Listen to me, and this is a story. You! Oh, what? Oh, me? Are you a god? Oh, I got a real nutcase here. I said, are you a god? Well, no. Then die! I don't die, I'm here to destroy you. No way! Oh no! Help! Somebody, please help me! Ghostbusters! Yeah! I've just been slimed! That's mad funny! Winston, look out! Whoa! Gozer Destroyer has returned! Listen, you had better just go back to wherever it is you came from because these men are not afraid of you! None can stand me, Bob Gozer! Hey, man, she's taking the girl. I hate it when that happens. Hey, hey, man. This chick is toast. Sniff a little, Minx, isn't she? All right, no fooling around this time. Hey, hold your fire. We don't want to demolecularize the girl. Some creatures, you have seen your fate. Choose and perish. We did it! Hey, look! It's the girl! All right! Are you all right? Thank you, Doctor, for saving my life. Well, this is gonna cost you, you know. Tell your boss the check can be made out to... Ghost! When we were in Manassas, Pennsylvania, shooting the steel mill, Peter's upstairs. We were up two or three floors. He had to go upstairs to get to him. We had an explosion behind him. We make the explosion hot, we're ready to go. I went upstairs and I was carrying I don't know, about eight Oreos in a stack. I'd hand him his weapon. I'd say, Peter, safety's off. And he wouldn't take the pistol. And he says, Robo wants an Oreo. And I look at him and go, no, it's just you and I, Peter. Robo doesn't get an Oreo. Peter wants an Oreo. Peter can have an Oreo. And he clip-clops in the suit over to the edge of the railing. And Peter starts bellowing, Robo wants an Oreo. And when the steel mill just echoes, Randy has Oreos or Robo? What's an Oreo? And Steve Lim over the radio goes, Randy, do you have Oreos? So I stuffed that whole stack in my mouth and then crunched them and let them fall down three stories onto everybody below me. And I, not anymore. And Robo got upset. I haven't got a damn clue about Randy Moore and his fucking Oreos. Randy Moore's a friend, but half the time, I don't know what the hell he's talking about. So he's got all these stories from RoboCop. I don't remember him. Steve Lim's going, can we get this shot? And then Robo can have an Oreo. And Peter said no. So they had to cut. They were rolling. They were ready to go. Now we're hot on the explosive. They had to send a PA up the stairs. They feed him an Oreo. And now he's got Oreo in his teeth. So then the PA has to pick the Oreos out of his teeth. And then he says, OK, I'm ready. And then we shot it. So after that, Peter would always say, Rovo wants an Oreo. So I had a gentleman that worked with me, and his official title should have been the Peter Feeder, because that's what the crew called him, was the Peter Feeder, because for some reason, weapons had to feed Peter Oreos. Randy, love you madly. Don't believe one fucking word out of your mouth, bro. Itsumo. Something new. We can truly experience the universe. Panasonic. Itsumo. Something new. Images are universal like one big problem. For example... Now, images are making the world one. Pass on it. I don't like to watch movies on the small screen. The big screen enhances the enjoyment of the movies. Just that? Well, picture quality is also important. Is that all? Get out of here. You can call him Sparky. Sparky. There are no ordinary things in this world. There are moments when children are just like angels. To create images is always a challenge. Digital magic. Panasonic. Red is beautiful, but red is difficult. Pure red. I am always thinking of new dreams. George Lucas. I dream the vision as much as I want to be seen. In this universe, new dreams and new friends. Panasonic. Always making wonderful friends. Panasonic. It's more about you. It's about us. Panasonic. It's about something new. There's no time to explain, Robin. I want you both to play exactly the same tune that you just heard. Batgirl, you take the east side. Robin, you take the west side. East side, west side. I'll go through the midtown, and we'll meet each other at the docks. But... Just play, Robin. Play for all you're worth. Sing a song for me. All right. I'm called Little Buttercup, dear Little Buttercup, though I could never tell why. A little louder. But still I'm called Buttercup, poor Little Buttercup, sweet Little Buttercup. A little louder. Holy metronome. What a fate. Wait a minute. A minute's too long. Robin, with every ounce of breath that's left in you, sing along with me. Sing what? No last questions, Robin. Sing each note precisely as I do. When I sing, you sing. Ready, Robin? Sing. You shake a pretty mean face Batman. I'm a little buttercup, dear little buttercup. I could never tell the water a little about it. But still I love water, poor little water, sweet little water. Buttercup, dear little buttercup. I could never tell why. A little louder. But still I love buttercup. Poor little buttercup. Sweet little buttercup. We made it. By selecting the right combination of flute toots. The Pied Pipers of Gotham City. You might say that. What's the matter? I'm pregnant. You never kissed me like that before. Wow. I got a lot of catching up to do. I never missed you so much before. You should stay away more often. Like now. Where's Dan? I've been saving up some tongue for him, too. Oh, you know Dan. Playboy at heart. One week in the mountains and he has to go to Las Vegas to recuperate. Rip Taylor's playing there. What's the matter, Steve? nothing's the matter but are you different I don't know what you mean different I'm still the same old lovable character I always was just not in this movie anxiety man oh geez why did I marry shirley temple excuse me he was married to shirley temple folks are you fact checking me yes Oh won't you come and join us? Oh won't you come and join us? That was weird. I'll tell the world. Go ahead. That was weird. Weird, weird, weird. You ever seen Patrick? No, I haven't seen Patrick. Patrick's a dumb movie about a kid who kills everybody from his coma. He's just in a coma the whole time and like kills them with like telekinesis in his coma. Patrick has the same expression that Mitch McConnell has when he's just in public. Mr. McConnell, are you running again in twenty twenty six? And then he just looks like that. This comes from Trevor Murray. This is horrifying. Yeah. Oh, my God. When you guys choose the paintings, they always seem to fit. We're coming into some difficult times, I think, and I'd like to think that the guy in office right now just pissed off a whole lot of people. To me, I don't know, it just kind of feels a little bit empowering in a time when I don't feel like I have much control over much of anything at the moment. So I have control over this. I can do this. You know, that's funny you said that, because when I was painting her the first time, I was thinking the same thing. She looked kind of queenly. Majestic, you know? Ooh! I have found this, though, and this might be useful to you as you start the new year. I have found that six or seven donuts first thing in the morning really curbs my appetite. Well, until breakfast, of course. I tease. I tease donuts. But did you know that scientific studies have found that sugar as an addiction is worse than heroin. Yes, worse than heroin. So I'm going to transition to heroin and then ease off that. I tease heroin. I'd eat me a banana I'd live in a treehouse and swim on a boat Thank you. What up, what up, what up? Hey. What's up, what's up, everyone? How's it going, folks? Matt, you're a little perky right now. Can you just bring it down a notch? My goodness. It's been a fucking day, man. It's just been one of those days where you don't want to wake up, to quote our great philosopher Fred Durst. That's been pretty much every day for me the past two and a half months or something. Just putting this, putting the pre-show together and everything for tonight. I had it completely put together and then I went to export it and just wouldn't export no matter what I did. So I had to go back and quickly re-download all the videos on a different website in lower quality. And then I also found out because it would only do them in lower quality for whatever reason than the one that I had been using. And then I also put together that new Bride of the Gorilla post. I had double checked to make sure the date was correct on it and then somehow still put the wrong date on it. So so for those of you who just saw that ad, that date is incorrect. I didn't even see this promo until like twenty seconds before we went live. And then I didn't notice that I didn't notice it either until it just played. I even I even made a point of going on the events page and looking at it. And I was like, and I thought for sure I had the right date. But yeah, you scared me because I went on the website and I checked and it definitely says February eleventh. like everywhere I'm just having like a fucking aneurysm today I don't know what's happening uh it's like yeah no it's possible I make mistakes like that all the time like maybe I put february somewhere but no matt you're just having a stroke I'm just having a stroke, yeah, like, it's, uh, yeah, and I was just, uh, putting all that together, and, uh, yeah, and then getting all the clips and stuff, but it's, uh, it's been a weird one, uh, but, you know, whatever, we're here now, we're gonna have fun, it's, uh, we've made it, so it's, uh, now is my favorite part of the night, all the prep work is always the most, uh, tedious and stressful but once we're here it's all gravy so now we just get to hang out and watch stuff and make fun of your life decisions plug our nine hundred shows plug our nine hundred shows but Matt I think a lot of people are curious you know last week we heard from you about your trip to McDonald's you were wearing flip flops and almost you got into a argument with a McDonald's security guard This is all factual. And I think a lot of people want to know, are you still wearing the flip-flops in this weather? It's warmed up a little bit. I am not wearing them for long journeys anymore. I did wear them earlier. There was a pizza place directly across the street from me. It's weirdly enough, it's the pizza place that's featured in the film Big Daddy. If you've watched the Adam Sandler film Big Daddy. Yes, I know this place. I live right across the street from the pizza place in that movie, which, you know, it's the pizza place from Big Daddy because you walk inside and it's like a tiny shrine to Adam Sandler. I don't understand that when it's a movie like Big Daddy, like I went to the bar where they filmed some scenes from Goodfellas. And understandably, they're very proud of that. Or when you go to the Exorcist stairs or the hockey stairs. It's like these legendary movies that just the locations carry a lot of aura. But Big Daddy? The pizza place from Big Daddy? There's a scene for five seconds in a pizza place in Big Daddy in this place. It's called Luigi's in Park Slope, not to dox myself too much. So wait a minute, wait a minute. But you wore flip-flops to this pizza place. I did wear flip-flops to go there, but it's literally right across the street from me, basically. Okay. So it was not a journey. I'll let it slide. It is thirty-one degrees out. I'm glad the flip-flop police have decided that it's okay for me to... No, it's just, you know, I don't have to bug you about, like, why would you choose flip-flops. Like, you're just going downstairs across the street in flip-flops. Like, that makes sense. Yeah. And no one yelled at you about your open-toe shoes? No, yeah. It's a pretty in-and-out trip to go just grab a slice over there. So yeah, nobody got onto me for that. But you reminded me, we were talking about this at our meeting the other day. I was reminded of another altercation I got into several years ago. If you'd like to hear another awkward argument that I've been in in my life. Yes, Matt, you have the floor. This is going to become the whole show. It's just Matt's various. I'm going to say nothing until you're done with your story and then we'll break it down. It wasn't even so much a fight or anything. It was just a weird altercation. I got into an altercation with an Elvis impersonator at an old internship. which was, I don't know, altercation, confrontation. I'll let you be the judge of what happened. When I was in college, I was a communications major, which was a giant mistake. That's what I was too. When I was a senior though, I got my senior internship at the Greenville Little Theater, as it was called at the time. I'd been doing theater there. I was in a play and a couple one-act reviews there, and the director was very kind to give me a marketing internship at this place, even though I just kind of came in hungover most days and stuck around for two hours and then had to go back to class. But we had a review come through. I think it was called Shake, Rattle, and Roll. It was one of those kinds of things. And this guy came through to do the review, and he was the official Elvis impersonator from Anaheim, California, in Disneyland. So this is like the official Disneyland Elvis came in to do this Elvis concert for two or three nights at our theater. And his name is Scott, if anybody wants to look him up. But he was one of those people where he had work done to look like Elvis. It was even creepier. I was there when he got off the bus in the middle of the day, and he looks exactly like Elvis or like a wax figure of Elvis or something. But he was wearing like a bowling shirt and like cargo shorts. It was a very bizarre juxtaposition. But I got to go to the preview the first night and everything. I got free tickets. And beforehand, you know, they're doing like the big, you know, they had like a big party upstairs in the theater where everybody's like hobnobbing. And I'm getting along with Elvis's band pretty well. And but Scott's just like over in a corner, kind of like keeping to himself, being like very kind of aloof and all this and that. And and I watch the show and it's and it's fine. It's you know, it's a good show. All the old people are there and they're having fun and they're in their seats, you know, kind of jiving. And he did early Elvis. He did, you know, like Elvis from the beginning up to, you know. like you know I guess like I don't know but it was yeah he was very kind of like a fit and trim and he took being an elvis impersonator very seriously and uh the concert gets done I'm standing outside with me this other guy who worked at the theater and his friend and then a couple members of elvis's band and they're all having a cigarette and scott comes out to like uh talk to it to his band and us and everything everybody's like hey scott you did great good job And I'm like, yeah, you did good, Scott. And I was I was just trying to like, you know, be jokey, you know, or whatever with them. And I'm like, hey, have you ever thought about doing like later Elvis before? And he kind of like laughs to himself. He's like, I would never do that. And, you know, and I'm I'm like twenty two. So I can't see when someone's kind of uncomfortable and is trying to like brush, you know, off, you know, whatever. And I'm like, oh, no, come on. You get like a big fat suit and like, you know, the mutton chops and the big glasses. And he just looks at me in the face and he goes, fuck. fuck that shit, I would never fucking do that. Like right in my face. And everybody goes quiet and we all just stand there for a second. And then Scott just kinda goes, well, I'm gonna go back inside and talk to everybody. And we're all like, okay, great job again, Scott. And he goes back inside the theater. And that was that. And then me and Corey, the guy from the theater and Elvis's band all went out drinking and everything the rest of the night. They were all cool guys. And then I went into the theater the next day and Corey was working on something. He's like, there's Matt. There's the guy that pissed Elvis off. I've gotten some further context for that because we were kind of telling that story around the theater and one of the carpenters kind of chimed in while we were talking about it later in the day. He's like, you know, there's like a weird rivalry between people who do early Elvis and people who do that kind of fat Elvis, later Elvis. Oh, I didn't know that. It's kind of like an improv stand-up situation, you know, where it's like they don't, you know, like people who do early Elvis feel like the people who do that kind of Vegas Elvis are kind of hacky and they're, you know, they're doing like weddings and stuff like that and they're not taking the craft of, you know, impersonating the king and honoring his legacy as well as they should. And I'm like, where's that movie about, you know, just the rivalry between different types of Elvis impersonators? yeah I thought that was just very interesting I never knew there was different like classes of Elvis impersonation I always just assumed if you were an Elvis impersonator you did everything like the whole era the whole Elvis like And that was just the joke I was making because, you know, he was a fit trim guy. So I figured he'd find the humor and, you know, me saying that he should get like a big fat suit and the mutton chops and everything. But but yeah, apparently they don't like that. Or maybe he's just had that joke made to him so many times that he's just kind of over it. You never know. Or maybe he was just joking. and it came across like he was really angry. Well, he got, like, in my face. He didn't, like, scream or anything, but he got, like, really close to me, and he, like, pointed at me, and he was like, fuck that shit. I would never fucking do that. Yeah, but I do that all the time to you, and I'm just joking, so... Well, he was also being very aloof. He would only really talk to any of the women who worked at the theater. He didn't really talk to any of us. But anyway, so that's my weird altercation. I've kind of slightly angered the official Disneyland Elvis before in a past life. So I have lots of weird little stories like that where I get into to rouse with people. That's one where I sympathize you a little bit. Although I do question how much you were pressing him with the, you should get fat sued in the mutton chop. Well, yeah, because he tried to be like, no, that's not for me at first. And I'm like twenty two years old and I can't see when somebody is doing that. You know, like when Tom Cruise gets kind of mad, you know, and he kind of like laughs, you know, like he's trying to like cool himself down like he did that at first. And I should have just went like, oh, well, but, you know. You live, you learn, I guess. But yeah, if anyone wants to co-write the Elvis versus Elvis movie, do it like the Warriors, where it's like the young Elvises versus the old Elvises, and they get into fights all around Memphis or whatever. That's a movie. Warring Elvises. Oh, well, this is come out to play. So, yeah. So that's a that's another story in my youth of your youth. The story you told last week happened literally hours. It literally happened earlier that day. So I've not changed much, I guess. There's just something about me, I guess, that just inspires hatred. Yeah. Some people seem to really, really want everybody to like them, and I kind of seem to thrive on people hating me. Really? I wouldn't have guessed that, but now that I think about it... I just have one of those faces. But if you'd like to hear more about my weird, bizarre life, you should check out the Dumb Industries Mystery Hour Mystery Club on our website, where you can watch tonight's show for completely free, or you can... chip in two bucks a month and watch our whole back catalog where I have uh various uh life crises uh and and we watch all kinds of uh weird trash we've watched you know the garfield christmas special bigfoot and wild boy oh yes vampires twice for some reason uh vampires twice the mystic knights of tyrannog oh that was a bad one we've watched a couple of xenas we've watched some good stuff too We've watched it. We've been all over the place. And tonight's theme is celebrity vehicle cartoons. Now, what does that mean, Matt? What is a celebrity vehicle cartoon exactly? Well, I'm so glad you asked. So there was a brief period in the eighties and nineties where they would just make a cartoon to basically just to star a certain celebrity, you know, like I'll give one of ours away. I have an episode of Life with Louie here where it was an entire cartoon built around the childhood of Louie Anderson. Where it's about him as a child and Louis Anderson plays both himself and his dad in the show. And there were lots of shows about younger celebrities. Like there was Bobby's World, which was kind of like the Howie Mandel one. I don't have an episode of Bobby's World. Good. I hate Howie Mandel. Because it's fucking annoying. With a passion. But yeah, so I think you'll be there's one of them in particular that I think is is a little more off the beaten path than what you would assume. And I think I hope that that's what wins. And I'll explain it a little bit more when we get there. So that's the next theme. And then I have two short little videos for intermission today. I was trying to find a nice kind of five minute one, but I could only find some shorter ones. So we've got two of them together. And I think that that'll be. That'll be a good time for everybody. So, uh, so yeah, we're just going to talk about our, our, our little company and we're going to watch some garbage and uh, what? little little company in the Fortune five hundred Matt we went public last week uh you can you can buy a stock you can buy our Bitcoin now no I'm kidding we're gonna be like the hawk to a girl and have our own Bitcoin and then bankrupt everybody who believes in us oh my God okay everyone uh real quick We're on Blue Sky. I just put all those links to follow us in the chat and also join our Discord server, discord.dumb-industries.com. And a great way to follow us, keep up with everything happening at Dumb Industries. And also, we are doing shout outs tonight to anyone who sends a donation into dumb-industries.com slash donate or scan that QR code below that. And we do shout outs. Thank you guys to anyone who donates any dollar amount. Doesn't matter. And you can put little requests in there. We've been doing bad impressions. We've been doing improv. We begin answering specific questions. If you have a question for us that you really want answered. A very sensitive question that is imperative that you get answered. We go through the chat too, but the chat goes by kind of quick. It goes by so fast. You blink and you miss it. If you really want to ask us something that is the way to do it uh but if you leave it blank we'll just you know come up with our own stuff you know I like singing songs as gollum uh you know I uh well speaking of tiny tim uh okay what what okay we have our first we have a few donations here already it's very exciting first one comes from our good friend what would mitchell do thank you mitchell thank you thank you what would mitchell mitchell And they say happy Lunar New Year. That's right. It was Lunar New Year yesterday to my two favorite dudes. I still don't understand completely what that means. Lunar New Year. In honor of my mom being released from the hospital. Oh, nice. I think last week she was watching her in the hospital. So that's awesome. um in honor of my mom being released can I please get brother ichabod making kissinger the newest general of the kiss army hellbound of course cameo by paul stanley giving his approval love what would mitchell do oh my gosh I'm gonna have to bounce between a bunch of voices okay for me to do ichabod well I need to warm up my voice for a second so let me let me mute myself Okay, I think I can do this. Go for it. Sinner! Are you ready to join the ranks of the worst army in all of hell? Who are you talking to me? Yes, you, the portly one who looks like a turtle slightly. Yes, what can I do for you? Yes, we need some people to join the biggest army in ALL OF HELL! We of course have the Foreign Legion here, as well as the... ...seventy-seven Philadelphia Flyers, but YOU will be joining... ...the KISS army, because as we know, EVERY KISS fan goes to hell because they SUCK SO BAD! Right, Paul? Oh yeah! You said it! Yeah! Well, I'm glad you asked. It's good to have a curious mind and to ask plenty of questions. The KISS Army fights for the power of corporate radio rock around the world! Uh, they wear makeup as various types of, uh, demons and animals and star people. What are you exactly, Paul? Star Child, you're right! Okay, good. Uh, I wasn't quite sure what that means exactly, but, uh, awesome. Do you have a makeup design in mind, Henry, that you could perhaps use for this? We could use someone with your war experience as a general. Yes, perhaps I could be the Eliminator, and I would just look like a corpse of someone that I murdered. Well, I'm not so sure we can copyright that makeup design. Gene won't be very happy with that. We have the Vinnie Vincent Egyptian warrior makeup that nobody wants to wear. Would it be acceptable if you wore that? Yes, I would like that very much. Okay. Welcome aboard, General. Oh, my God. What would Mitchell do? Thank you so much. All right. Let's see. We have another one here. Go Google Vinnie Vincent if you want to see the stupidest Kiss makeup. Because when they started replacing members of Kiss in the eighties, they started giving them all their own unique makeup. And then when they came back in the nineties and started replacing them again, they just gave up and just gave the Mason Peters makeup. They're just like, fuck it. We're not doing that again. Yeah. We have another donation here, but I'm going to wait until we bring Emmy on because it requires her skills. Okay. Specific impression. This next one comes from Lucius C. Lucius, thank you so much. Lucius says, you guys and Tom Sharpling, oh my God, my idol, are the main folks keeping me sane these days. So could I hear Gollum meeting Philly boy Roy? Tom Sharpling, host of The Best Show. huge inspiration to me I had no idea there were other best show fans that watch this stuff so that is good to know I'm only vaguely familiar with that program I do not know who Philly Boy Roy is I could do Philly Boy Roy and you can be Gollum so I guess just approach me so just approach me okay Hello, are you an Orcses? Nice to meet you. What's your name, little boy? My name's Smeagol. No, it's Gollum! Oh, it's Smeagol. It's Gollum. Oh, nice to meet you, little boy. My name is Philly Boy Roy. Philly Boy Roy. Where are you from, preciouses? Are you from Rivendell, or...? Oh, it's pretty obvious, don't you think? It's Philadelphia. I don't know what is a Philadelphia, Preciouses. It's a place down in Pennsylvania, and I love it there. I'm turning into Michael from One Month's Crossing. It's really hard to do John Worcester's voice. Preciousles, what is Philadelphia like? What happens there? I've never been. It's the best place on the planet, don't you know? You can run up those stairs that Rocky ran up. That's what I do with most of my days. Oh, stairs! One time I had to run up the stairs in Mordor! There were so many of them, it just kept going and going and going and going and going! Well, that sounds great! I'm gonna get going, little boy! Goodbye! Oh, okay. Hey, you haven't seen a ring anywhere, have you? No! Alright, um... Fillet cheesesteak? That sounds gross, Processes! That was a terrible Philly Boy Royale. No one send that to Tom Sharpling. I'm trying to think of what it reminded me of. Ben Dale says it's a damn good Philly Boy Royale. All right. You were kind of getting into Fred Durst territory a little bit. It had that kind of like, it's all about the he said, she said. Now you know we all be loving this shit right here. Thank you so much, Lucius. Yeah, thank you. Great, great, great concept. We have some gifted writers here. uh okay we got a lot here let's um let's get into this week's dumb deals yeah and then we'll come back and we'll do some more uh but right now I think we should really get into this week's take it away johnny Okay, this week, we have an all new page on the dumb industries website, dumb dash industries.com slash deals where we have All sorts of deals, digital deals, T-shirts, hoodies. This week, we've got ten percent off all Sherpa blankets and all all pillows. We have a lot of pillows have been selling like crazy in the dumb industry store. The wonderful Wednesday watch long pillows. I think we should make some dumb industries flip flops. I think that those would, you know, really well. I think we can do that. Okay. I will wear the dumb industry's flip flops if those become a thing. But yeah, get your Sherpas, get your pillows. They're so comfy. The Sherpas are truly, truly comfortable. The deal for t-shirts is you buy any three, you get your fourth free. Or you can just get any t-shirt, twenty percent off. Promo code t-shirts twenty. But head to dumb-industries.com slash deals. All the info is on there. And we change those up every week. So yeah. And checking it out. Yep. And as I said at the top of show, excuse me, I'm real burpy today. There is also the Mystery Hour Mystery Club. If you're watching us on Twitch, we love you. Feel free to keep watching us on Twitch. We also get paid by Twitch revenue. Use your Amazon free subscription if you want to. This is also where dumb television happens. So, you know, you get a lot of use out of that. But if you'd like to watch this specific program ad free, You can do that on our website at dumb-industries.com forward slash mystery hour. Watch the most recent episode completely free. We leave it up for an entire week until a new episode replaces it. And as I said before, if you kick in just a little coin, you get access to the full back catalog. And there's a secret chat over there, which is fun. And if you sign up for that Mystery Hour Plus membership or any Plus membership on our website, you unlock access to the Dumb Odds and Ends library, which includes all the other stuff we've produced for Dumb Industries that hasn't been attached to a specific show or regular program like the Witching Hour, Martian Shadows, all the Matt and Emmy and Chris's are up there. I'll be releasing my sex tape on there later this month. He filmed a pretty wild sex tape. And that's going up at dumb-industries.com. It's just by myself, Noah. And as we mentioned earlier, there's digital deals at dumb-industries.com. And this week is no different. Is that right, Matt? That's correct. Yeah, so yeah, we do every week a big Mads or Back download sale. We've been going back through the show from the very beginning because we have exactly a year's worth of program if you do it every week. Yeah, it's like we hit that syndicated sweet spot. Yeah, there's there's exactly fifty two of them. DC Comics is favorite number. The new fifty two. The Mads are back. See Frank and Trace and brand new high collared outfits with lots of lines all over them. But anyway, this week's sale is The Brain from Planet Eris. So if you don't have that yet, it's six bucks through Sunday with promo code Shirley Temple. Just go to dumb-industries.com forward slash The Brain from Planet Eris. Pretty easy. That's right. And that was a great one. That was with Dana Gould. Yep. That was our Q&A guest. Yep. And I'm feeling quite generous. What do you say we do a giveaway for that episode? No! Let them suffer. Okay, let's do one. uh if you're watching this live enter hashtag shirley temple you'll be in the running for a free download of the mads are back to bring them from planet aros and uh if you already have that download just let me know if you win just let me know and we'll get you another download like last week's or next week a a purchase of of equal monetary value yes um god going back to the best show matt you have to get into the best show I need like I don't know anyone else who listens to the best show regularly I've seen clips of it online I just have no well they just move the time he's been tuesdays at eight for like years and years like decades and now he's going to be doing it at or it's tuesday at nine and now it's going to be at six p.m eastern so I can like actually watch it live again it's very exciting Right here on Twitch, too. They do it on Twitch. Very nice. Very nice. Very nice. Okay, we have some more shoutouts here. Next one. Okay, sock it to me. This one comes from Mercenary Elf. Mercenary Elf. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Mercenary Elf says, dealer's choice. Dealer's Choice. You got to go wild, Matt. I really should have brainstormed some more weird songs. Here's Gollum singing Jackson. We got married in a fever, higher than a pepper sprout We've been talking about Jackson ever since the fire went out We're going to Jackson, gonna run around Well, we're going to Jackson. Ooh, Jackson Town. Me and Mercenary Elf are going to Jackson. Go ahead and wreck your head. Go do-do-do-do-do, you sweet talking man. Do-do-do-do-do-do, I don't remember the words. Uh, thank you, Mercenary Elf. Thank you, Mercenary Elf. That was a great one. Next one here comes from Scribbler Johnny. Thank you, Scribbler Johnny. Scribbler Johnny, thank you. Scribbler Johnny wants Brother Ichabod to sentence sinners to play Candy Crush. Ooh. Ooh, okay. That's all you, Matt. Okay, let me get... I have to work myself up to do this one. You're there! Oh, wait. Has my audio been... Oh, let me adjust that. Okay, I got it. There you go. You there, new sinner! I notice you're in hell and you have nothing to do with your hands! Well, good news for you, because we've just got this shipment in of Windows phones! Remember the Windows phone? It's the official phone of hell! It's your only choice, it runs off of Windows seven, it fucking sucks! And the only installed game is Candy Crush! You will be just swiping and swiping and swiping and swiping and swiping. And then you'll have to charge your phone for a bit. And then you'll be swiping and swiping and swiping and swiping. And then it'll get a little too hot and you'll have to put it down for a little bit. And then swipe and swipe and swipe until your fucking fingerprints fall off! Does that sound like a miserable time to you? Huh, Scribbler Johnny? Well, too bad! You have no choice! Shut up! No eye contact! We should set up a cameo for Brother Ichabod. He just gave me the idea. Um, thank you so much for Johnny. Okay. We got one here and then we'll, we'll take a break, pick a winner here. Um, this one comes from Spirocythe. Thank you. We have to get an applause button or something. We need to get like a soundboard, like we're drive time DJs, you know, where it can have like the horn sound effect and like the, the, the Voiva Zella or whatever it's called. Yeah. Spireside Every Week creates a new meme for us based on things we've discussed in the past week. This week is no different. We discussed a lot over the past week, mainly Matt's feet and his trip to McDonald's, but other things as well. Here we go. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it would have something to do with this. All right, look at this. It says save Matt on the top there. Save his frostbitten toes, I'm assuming. Oh, you're wearing a Matt TV t-shirt. That is cool. Nice. And he put your face onto some other guy's face, looks like. Let's see. I love that he gets only the most flattering photographs of me to put in things. He's got me. I look like I'm very cold outside of... I'm at the border of New York State. Are you on like a... I'm trying to figure out. You look like you're on a mascot hedgehog costume or something. I don't know. Yeah, it's the proportions very odd. Let's see. We got a very special episode. What is this? What? What is that from? That's just like a generic special episode. And then we got Sammy Stevens, the guy from the Montgomery flea market flea market Montgomery. Yeah. Who is that to the left? Oh, that's the pimp my ride. Oh, yeah. Is that the the lady who got the the nurse mobile? Yeah. We put a full MRI machine in the trunk of your car. There's a full MRI machine in the trunk of her car. Now your car is useless. Enjoy. We also got Bill Bixby as the Hulk there. Yeah. Oh, is that a bottle of Smirnoff Ice? Yeah, I was drinking a Smirnoff Ice Screwdriver last week. The attention to detail is incredible. I love it. Thank you so much, Pyrocythe. Pyrocythe here also has a request. It says, how about Don Knotts asking Peter Weller if the Oreo cookie story is real? So you want to be Peter Weller? Should I be Peter Weller as Robocop? I'm trying to think if I can do that. I think just the curmudgeon-y Peter Weller would be... would be good. Okay, okay, okay. Oh, excuse me, Mr. Weller, can I ask you something? Yes, what is it? Oh, I won't take too much of your time, but I'm a huge fan of the Robocop series, and I heard an interesting story that you were fed Oreos on the set of Robocop. Is that true? Look, have you been talking to that idiot Randy again? Randy! Randy, that's the one who told me! Look, look, I've told Randy a thousand times I don't know anything about him and his fucking Oreos, okay? But he's very convincing. He said that you would just open your mouth and a PA would put Oreos in your mouth. Look, I don't know where he's getting these stories from. Look, I've lived a full life. I was in Star Trek Into Darkness at one point. I was in the Dark Knight Returns cartoons. I've done a lot. I have a PhD, and all anybody wants to know is about the fucking Oreos, and I'm sick of it. I will go full Robocop on the next person who asks me about the Oreos. Well, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Oreos are delicious. Hey guys, it's Randy. You've been talking to Peter over here? Randy, are you the one that told him about the Oreos? Yeah, I'm the one that told him. Oh my god. See, it's funny because you thought it was the other Randy, but it's me, Randy Newman. I'm the one spreading the Oreo story. I'm going to shoot you in the dick just like Robocop. No, don't do that. Oh no. My dick. Can't have that. Thank you so much, Spiroscythe. Thank you, Spiroscythe. All right, let's pick a winner here. I'm going to draw a name. Whoever wins is going to win a free download of The Mads Are Back, The Brain from Planet Aros. And old Misty Jamie. Misty Jamie, awesome. Congratulations, a huge dumb supporter. Well deserved. Canadian even. Matt, we have several Canadian viewers. I got an email this morning from someone in Nova Scotia who said they just love everything we're doing. Wow. That's awesome. Keep up the great work. I literally get emails like that every day. It's the most uplifting thing. It's what keeps me going. I also wake up to mean emails occasionally, but then I get a nice one like thirty seconds later and it makes up for that. If things keep going south in this country, we might be crashing on your couch soon, Misty Jamie, because we've got to keep up our Canadian audience so we can flee whenever we need to. Okay, we've still got so much to get to, and it's already eight-forty. What do you say we get into This Week in Dome? Okay. Take it away, Chris. I'm Randy. Saturday, we had an all-new episode of Jackie Naiman Jones, The Hands of Paint. We did. You may have seen it in the promo I made. Oh, yeah. I love that promo. The subject was She-Creature. This was Jackie's painting that she was working off of. She-Creature. I spelled it wrong on this flyer, I realized later. The She-Creature, the Pretty terrible movie. But everyone did such a great job. Here are some of the paintings here. This one is... Oh, this is cool. See the She Creature by Shade. Very nice. Here's an alternate version of that. Shade does really cool colors, different versions. It looks like the Shroud of Turin or something. I think I've said that before about... This one is great. This is Pin Up by Charlotte Greenwell. That is a boobalicious sheep creature. Oh, you think that's a boobalicious? I am slightly aroused. Here's She's Serving Fish by Blue. Oh, my God. I hope this doesn't awaken anything in me. I know. This one is probably my favorite. This is She Can Do It by Rebecca Biggs. That's awesome. Isn't it? This one's cool too. Pretty Now by Tom Watson. All these she creatures have great tits. You're all great at the she tits on the monster. Y'all nailed the she tits. Here's mine. She looks kind of like... Yeah, it's good. You went with a very traditional kind of model that Jackie had. He looks like he's wearing some kind of, I don't know, mask or something. I'm trying to think of what he reminds me. He looks kind of like a Thundercats character or something. He looks kind of like a... Who was the one guy, like Pantera, Panthro, whatever his name was? Yeah. Oh, here's a great one, and this is going to be on a new set of digital Valentine's Day cards. This is by Ingo Woldemuth. Yeah. That's my favorite. Last year we sold a set of four digital Valentine's Day cards. You can print them at home, fold them up, use them as Valentine's. We're going to have a new set in the store very soon, so be on the lookout for that. Yes, I was a consultant on that design. Ooh, look at that. But yeah, it was a great class. Everyone should join the Hands of Paint class because it's free for your first thirty days. And every month we watch a B-movie and then we paint something from that B-movie. So we've done so many Mystery Science Theater movies. The Christmas Dragon... Was She-Creature a Mystery Science Theater movie? Yeah, it was like a later one. I think it was season eight or nine or something. Okay. I'm really showing how little I know about this show, even though I work with everybody from it. Plan Nine from Outer Space, we've done a bunch, and it's just a super relaxing... Several monos designs of... And everyone can check that out over at dumb-industries.com slash Jackie. Check out the student gallery, too. It's right on the page there. Just click on gallery right on our homepage. And you can see all the amazing work people are doing. And if you paint an older painting, you should still send us a photo of your painting. And we'll throw it on there and talk about it on our social media. I'll put it up in my shrine in my room. That class is every fourth Saturday. The gallery will blow you away, as Shade says. The gallery will blow you away. away. Gotta finish your sentences there. Okay. I think I blew myself too early. What else? Alright, so yeah, so that happened on Saturday and then on Monday, it was the next Super Dumb Brothers. We played Back to the Future games. Yes. Poorly. And... there are some we found back to well they're all nes games but they had back to the future and then back to the future two and three they combined into one game you never got past part two though I don't think right no yeah I was I was very confused it was like a mario kind of game but it was yeah yeah we got very lost very quickly and uh and then you played back to the future one which is essentially what if the paper boy uh sucked a lot more and it was very lame had nothing to do with back to the future How do you mess that up? Back to the Future has some of the most iconic props, costumes. How do you mess that up? I know graphics were limited back then, but they could have put a little pixelated vest on Marty McFly, you know, or... Or, yeah, had the DeLorean there somehow, or, you know, they just, yeah. It was like E.T. the game levels of, I don't think they even watched this movie before they made the game. No, they did not. But we had a fun time playing them. And we played some Rift Tracks game, I think, right? Yeah, we played all Christmas clips of the Rift Tracks game. Because we forgot to turn that off, and... because we forgot to turn it off. Oh, EQ Washu says we need to play the Universal Studios Minecraft DLC. I think I did play that with my nephew because he's obsessed with going to Universal Studios. The marketing has worked on him. That's all he wants to do. But yes, the Back to the Future episode is now on demand in the Super Dumbo's Super Club. our most recent live stream is always available to watch on depend so you could check that episode out completely for free yeah do it and uh yeah and while we're talking about that what are we doing next week for oh so next month we're going to start uh we're going to do games over multiple episodes so we're starting in february we're going to do grand theft auto three for for two weeks and yes we're gonna do that for two weeks and then uh and now I'm gonna be playing that and then matt's going to be playing uh more of legend of zelda skyward sword Yeah, so if you watched, we did a long play of the beginning of that, which was basically just all the beginning exposition of that game. I did a lot of reading, so now that all that's out of the way, we'll actually be playing the game. Yeah, so if you're curious about how the Legend of Zelda series began, because that's chronologically the very first game in the timeline, you can check that out. And I, I've been, I got the grand theft auto trilogy. I'm almost done with grand theft auto three, but I think that would be a, it's kind of a fun place to jump in and play with you guys. Cause they may be able to like finish the game, uh, on, on during the stream. So that'll be nice for a change, you know, right. Instead of just playing the first level and being terrible at it. Uh, yeah. So, so y'all got that, got that to work to look forward to, uh, so yeah, Monday. And then, God, Tuesday. This week has been... Wild. Tuesday, we had the Mid to Late Evening Show with Mary Jo Peel, an all-new episode of the Mary Jo Peel Show, and it was late-night talk show themed. And I think we nailed it. I think we did a good job of making the show a late-night talk show. Mary Jo did her monologue from the garage. We had guests, Jackie Naiman-Jones. We had a great interview with Jackie. Dave played a song. Dave played a song, one of my favorite Valley Lodge songs. And Mary Jo's next door neighbor, Ian, stopped by. And that was so much fun. I was the band leader for the night. I had a whole band behind me. You did a great job editing everything. It was a nice, slick production. uh I wouldn't say it was slick but it was a nice production and I was literally I said this in the discord server I think yesterday but I was literally editing a final episode like minutes before the pre-show went on like I I started the pre-show and I was still exporting the uh the video for that night and uh yeah so it came out great I was really happy with everything and um Yeah, and we threw you in there. We threw the Brother Ichabod commercial in there because I realized we're cutting the brakes all the time, but we didn't really have any ads to put in there. So I slid in the Brother Ichabod ad. nice because yeah we were trying to think if I could do anything for it and then just how everything was kind of put together and then just how we were scheduled and everything we just couldn't quite make it happen so uh so it was nice to to still have popped up for a second I was just happy having made the pre-show like I like I usually do so it's uh you know I don't it doesn't have to be matt time all the time you know yeah eric mckinnon says next time you do it have ian be the sidekick the whole time that's not a bad idea plus wacky neighbor needs to be a thing Yeah, it was like the way we filmed it, Mary Jo had to film everything separately. So it was like as a sidekick, I couldn't really do much. She said one thing to me during the monologue and then I had to edit myself talking to her. and uh did I mention I was editing this until like thirty seconds before it aired um but I I filmed a bunch of stuff of me playing guitar and then a lot of it just ended up like unusable so I had to kind of like there's a lot there's a lot to that episode I didn't know you could play guitar that's uh oh yeah oh I've been playing guitar since I was twelve thirteen or something huh You knew that. I know you played drums, but I've never seen a guitar in your place. I play drums way more often. But yeah, I have a Fender Strat, American Strat. Great guitar. Oh, wow. I have a Mexican Strat at my parents' house, and it is not great. mexican strats can still be pretty good but um the thing with strats is now I'm gonna deviate for a little bit uh strats are good but the the stock pickups on them are not great if you get a strat uh you should probably change the pickups on it because they're single coil and they buzz we gotta form a band matt me you that's it just the two of us and uh We'll be like the white stripes. Yes. But yeah, God, Tuesday. So much fun. That episode is now on demand in the Mary Jo Peele Show Clubhouse, available for all Clubhouse members. And let's see. And you also picked what we're doing for the next Movie Joe Night that night, too. Yes, the next Movie Joe Night is going to be the first movie made for TV movie, Doctor Strange. Yeah, so come back in February. Jessica Waters is in it. and uh yeah february and we're doing it on a friday next month because we've got uh we had a we had a we had a reschedule a few things so so a nice a nice friday night movie joe night that'll be yeah those are fun we've done it once before I think we did pray for the wildcats on our friday Something like that, yeah. That'll be great. So, yeah, you get a full Mads Friday and a new movie Joe all at once. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so, yeah. And then Wednesday, we did Weird and Wonderful Wednesday, as always. And I was in the middle of putting my tax stuff together and, you know, fun adult shit like that, so I didn't catch it. But we have the person who made it. So, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Burt Bacharach. I mean... That's Miss Burt Bacharach. I'll have you know. That's Miss Burt Bacharach. The timing was perfect. How do you say, is it Bacharach? Is that right? It's Bacharach, isn't it? I'm always just quoting Austin Powers when I do that. When he just goes, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Burt Bacharach. Well. Emmy, how are you? Welcome to the program. You know, things are good. Things are good. Yeah. I mean, look at all these people in the chat. They're all going nuts for you. Look at this. You know. It's six days till my birthday. I know. We've been counting down over here at the headquarters. It's one of the ones with the zero at the end of it, I think. Oh, really? That's what they tell me. I did not know this. I think it might have a zero at the end of it. That's crazy. You're the same exact age as my sister-in-law. So last night Speaking of of creating and all that we had creation of the humanoids or a movie about about racism and and and other weird Tangential stuff from yeah, but it was very very uh very ahead of its time. What year did that come out? nineteen sixty two Yeah. And look at that. Chris actually edited down this poster or something. You did something special with this. You just found that one online. That's an alternate one of the one I think I'd sent you. Oh, cool. It's almost the exact same poster. But it's got a nice black border. I like the black border. I know. It's cool, right? It looked good in the emails. Yeah, it looked nice. That's why I was like, I got that email. And I was like, ooh. I was like, that's nice. I was like, that stands out more. Thanks, Chris. um yeah that movie so you you've you've seen it you watched it yes on sven ghouli back in four four years ago when a while ago yeah it was four years I had and um tell you the date and uh god the movie the ending it's got like an amazing ending It does. You're expecting the twist, but then the twist is slightly different than you're expecting. That's really how you do the twist. You've got to double-blind people like that. But also, it's just really competently written. The script is amazing. The colors are amazing. The sets and the costumes are amazing. The camera work and the budget is crap. Yeah, the makeup and everything looks pretty cheesy. Yeah, they've got one camera and one microphone, and the camera's just not moving. Yeah, but otherwise, what a film. Totally, yeah. I wasn't able to watch last night, but you always have such a huge crowd that tunes in every Wednesday. It was well over a hundred people last night for Creation of the Humanoids. That was so great. I was honored. So everyone should join Emmy's membership, dumb-industries.com slash weird. She hosts a new movie every Wednesday. The movie starts at eight, but you have a whole pre-show. It starts earlier at seven. I have some cartoons. We do Emmy Martian's Cartoon Funhouse afterwards. I had a lot of robot cartoons. There was Gumby's Robot Rumpus, and Ernest had the full-length director's cut. I love Ernest. He went to camp. That's a different Ernest, but every time, Matt, every time. He went to Africa one time. Yes. He was in the army. Have you ever seen Doctor Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam, Matt? Yeah, that's a weird one. Speaking of weird movies. I remember I rented that as a kid because it was the only Ernest movie in the store at the time. And I was on an Ernest Jag at like eight years old. What is that, the original... No, that's like a different thing. It's really bad. It's like a character showcase for Jim Varney back when Ernest was more of a commercial character. Ernest pops up for a second in it, but mainly Jim Varney plays a supervillain, basically, called Doctor Otto. It's pretty weird. He also did Slam Dunk Ernest where he becomes like a basketball star. Ernest. We also had We Bare Bears and lots of other great, great robot themed cartoons and so forth. Yeah, I think it's always y'all never seen we bear bears y'all aren't The kid they got it they got it y'all tune in later tonight And you can see some we bear bears on on cartoon fun house later tonight on on TV at ten that over a dumb weird So there'll be there'll be some more we bear bears yeah, and lots of other cool things but uh But really what I want to say is that before we move on is next week, it's my birthday. It's my birthday on next Wednesday. It's actually on the Wednesday. So it's going to be a big blowout and I'm going to have nothing last forever. I had a big blowout earlier. It wasn't me. You don't drive. I had to change my pants. Have you ever even driven a car? I have driven a car. I was in a wreck that almost killed me when I was like twenty-two years old when a Greyhound bus hit my Honda Civic and put it into a guardrail. Wait, wait, wait. Who was driving the bus? Was it the Elvis impersonator? Yeah, it was the same guy. That's right. It was just to tell my Quentin Tarantino story, too. Oh, yeah. It's almost nine o'clock. We'll do that. My point was, I do really need to say this. I'm trying to get this sentence out. Um... Next week is my birthday, and so I will be having the movie Nothing Lasts Forever. Nothing Lasts Forever is a dystopian sci-fi film that stars the lead of Gremlins and Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd and Terry Garr and Sam Jaffe and Imogene Coca and Bud Melman and both the Belushi brothers are in it in a rare appearance together. It's a fantastic movie. It's a... It's about a young man who wants to become an artist, and a bunch of homeless people send him on a bus to go shopping with senior citizens on the moon. It's truly incredible. And Zach Galligan, star of A Very Delicate Matter, which was shown on The Witching Hour. This is also, see, it's the synergy. Zach G., He's mainly well known for being on that and an episode of Star Trek Voyager and nothing else. Yeah. Well, this movie that I'll be playing has never been released officially or commercially or anything. It was aired on TV one night and one night only, I believe in the early nineties. Someone made a videotape copy of that. I have a very high, high definition copy of, actually I used to have like a, For years, I actually had a crappy copy and a few months ago. I actually ran across like a Much nicer nicer copy of As I said never been officially released partly because of copyright reasons And and other other but but that makes it easy for us to play because we're not stepping on anyone's toes amazing uh emmy we have uh a donation here that requires your peter laurie impression um is who go ahead this this comes from ryan s thank you so much ryan ryan thank you ryan says colombo asks jill cairo played by peter laurie about the maltese falcon wait who asked peter laurie Columbo. Okay, so it's you two. Ask Joel Cairo, played by Peter Lorre, about the Maltese. Like the movie? Just ask him about the movie? It's a drink for my two-liter during this. Excuse me, sir. I'm sorry to bother you. Obviously got a lot going on right now, but I was hoping maybe you could tell me about that film, The Maltese Falcon. Have you never seen me and the fat man? Is the fat man here? Has he come here already? So, you know, I like the pictures, but Mrs. Columbo's a huge fan, and she's seen all of them, and that's one of the ones that she wants to go see this weekend. You should definitely let her in on that, because it's going to be an experience she'll never forget, if you know what I mean. I think I know exactly what you mean. Now, just one more thing, sir. Would you care to tell me, is that movie a remake of an older movie? It is indeed. It was made like four years previously and it sucked. The one without me, it was terrible. It was really slow and it didn't have Humphrey Bogart or Elisha Cooke Jr. or Sidney Greenstreet or anyone in it. It really sucked. It was one of the worst ever. I don't know. Luckily, we remade it with a brand new enamel finish. Well, that's good to hear. Mrs. Columbo is going to be very thrilled. Hey, guys, it's Randy. What movie are you talking about? The Maltese Falcon. Have you heard of it? I think I have heard of it. That's the one about the guy with the Chewbacca and they fly the ship, the Maltese Falcon, right? Yeah, I think you're confused there. I think you're thinking of the aluminum Falcon. Yes, that's it, the aluminum Falcon. I've seen that with Lucas Starfryer. I'm very familiar with that. young kids these days you know um yes and and singing the next one you got a maltese falcon oh my god all right thank you thank you thank you so much ryan thank you ryan I also want to thank uh I just want to thank daniel s I want to thank uh I want to thank dare n And I also really, really want to thank Rocky. Rocky, I really appreciate you. But also, Darren, you know, see, I don't want to, it's tough when people, when they send us, I don't want to dox anybody. I know, yeah. I don't want to thank them. I've just been thanking first name, last initial, just to, you know, I don't want to dox anyone. Unless we've already said their name eight thousand times on the show, in which case they seem fine with us doxing them. I'd like to thank the Academy, and I would like to thank our Lord Jesus Christ. Emmy, do you have a minute to stick around for our intermission video? As long as you have a minute. Do you have a minute? Okay. See, that was good timing. So I found two short little ones. And to start off this, I love news videos that kind of seem like they could vaguely be Monty Python skits. This is a skit about a man who cars keep hitting his house and the county won't do anything about it. So let me hit the bed music real fast. Thank you, Chris. It is a sight to see the signs in front of this Cleveland Heights home after dealing with crash after crash. We told you about one of those crashes back in twenty twenty one. Another happened in twenty twenty two. Honey, I'm home. Tell you about a near miss. And it's like a Tesla jumping. He still feels like this city has not done. Your Uber's here to prevent this from continuing to happen. How is it happening? It shows you now how it's got to be like a steep off South Taylor Road. There's flashing lights, a speed bump. What's going to happen when a car going eighty five miles an hour hits that speed bump? and even this guy's like ned flanders I love him put those rocks in place as a what they call temporary measure oh my god it's still not enough to keep his home safe from erratic drivers I'm painting another sun this side just put all these weird signs Did it say chicken shit? It does say. Oh, this guy rules. We have to blur one of them out. Wait, why are they... Is there like a swastika on that one? Nah, I think it just swears. Yeah. Cars just keep flying into only his house. I'd be terrified to hang out I like how they're totally doxing him too with like the street address and everything yes the second was in the other billy joel I can't get homeowners insurance. I currently have insurance, but they've jacked the rates, and if I have one more claim, I'm being dropped. Wow. This guy's yard is like a Twitter comment section. It's great. This guy needs to move. Well, his house is paid off. Yeah. I don't have a mortgage. The house is paid off. What can I buy where I won't have to pay that's comparable to where I'm currently living? If you had to pay, at least a car wouldn't fly through your window. I think that's a fair trade-off. As far as I'm concerned, this house has a giant target on the side. and the city has done nothing to alleviate that until he gets it gal plans to keep painting and so do you think these signs help no they help me not at all they help me mentally exactly they just let him event yeah I think he actually admitted that too they helped me idiots that one sign just says idiots that helps him not kill people in like a random like killing spree at least he's good at anger management So there's that one. That was a quick little video. And I found another quick little video. There's people on TikTok. Wait, I need to set this up. There's people on TikTok who claim to be telekinetic and it's the goofiest thing ever. I've been on their account before. They have like a whole page full of videos where they even coach people on how to be telekinetic. And just watch how stupid this is. Imagine there's an Instagram account where the creator claims to have telekinesis abilities. He insists he can control the air, something similar to popular anime. The account breeze the creative seriously tries to prove to people that he can manipulate objects. Just watch how stupid this is. Oh look, they moved an empty water bottle. The main character can crush a soda can or move objects just with her mind. But in the case of this Instagram account, things are much funnier. That's so stupid. They're knocking it down with air. Yes. But they think that they're, like, amazing. This guy posted a video where he showed a girl he claims he taught the art of telekinesis. She was physically able to move aluminum foil with just a wave of her hand. Whoa! Moves in the wind. It's a simple childhood trick. The foil on the table is very light, and the wave of the hand creates a gust of air that pushes the foil. That's it. I like that they have to, like, use an infographic to explain this to people. They're like, are you this dumb? Whoa! Look, I also invented the paper airplane. Yeah, Gleapster idiots. Yeah, they need the sign from that guy's yard. Who would have thought some wind could move an elastic water bottle? Yeah, this woman is all my energy. The creative teaches people this questionable magic. He even has a Patreon. How about health is wealth for twenty two dollars a month? It seems some people for twenty two dollars a month. You can learn how to move things by three hundred and twenty members. Wow. Let's go. We're doing something. Where's my new grift? Yeah. It's people like this are the reason why Trump is in power again. whoa incredible so yeah so that's probably what does believe in this that's probably if you take that is you'll be able to move tinfoil with all the telekinetic you know it just comes naturally but the worm in my brain lets me move water bottles with my mind Is that a good RFK? You know, it needs to be raspier. Both of ours needs to be, we need more rasp in our RFK. I actually did not say that. My cousin found out that I was putting mice into a blender to feed my hawk, and that's a new thing that actually happened to me. I wish you'd had time. I had brought a video, too, this week, but because of failed celebrity pilots, Chris saw the video that I brought already, the Pryor's Place video. Uh-oh. I thought about it. I thought about it. Well, how long is it? We probably don't have... I mean, it's, you know, it's like two minutes. It's the open... It's like a minute, so it's like the opening to a... Do you have it? Do it. Do you have it ready? I have it ready. I think I... Can I just drag and drop it in the... Is that how that works? If you go to present at the bottom in video file, you should be able to open it from your documents or downloads. Oh, look at that. You're the smart one. yeah you're acting like you've never used stream yard before you know some of these things they baffle us sometimes okay so is it ready it is totally ready it is ready and loaded up just hit add to screen Right. Did I not hit the add to screen? I don't see it in the videos at the bottom here. Yeah. Not seeing it. I think there might just be too many videos, but... No, you can put a lot of videos on. Oh, no. This video uses a codec. Well, next time. Next time. Next time, maybe, to quote Terrence Howard from Iron Man. We'll have to share the wonders of Pryor's Place with Matt, because it's just... It's great. Ever since I've seen this, I've been thinking of Matt and, like... You need to see this, Matt. Put it in the Discord. Check out our Discord later if you're not a member of our Discord. That video will be in there. I posted a picture of my feet earlier today. There's all kinds of neat bonus content. I'm going to ban you from the Discord if you keep that up. Please, please do that. Look, we keep flip-flopping on this issue. If we just stop flip-flopping on this issue, I think that... I'll get out of here. Where's my... All right. Okay. Thank you, Emmy. Thanks, Emmy. We will see you real soon. See you later. Bye-bye. Bye. Conway Twitty, everyone. Okay. Oh, my God. We still got so much to get to. Let's get right into it. Let's get into coming soon enough. All righty. Coming soon to Dom. Oh, yeah, you go first on this one. Coming soon. Well, we got a really busy February. We have a really buzzy February. Really buzzy February. Bees everywhere. Bees everywhere. I'm going to get a buzz cut. But I'm just going to highlight a few things coming up. First off, oh, we forgot to ask Emmy about this. Tuesday, February fourth, an all new episode of Martian Shadows. That's going to be episode eleven of Martian Shadows. Maybe they'll like go through a door or something. They might enter a door in this one. Someone might burp, you know. When we debut new episodes of Martian Shadows, we do a mini marathon leading up to it. So if you haven't seen past episodes, get caught up. The new episode will debut shortly after eight PM. I think we run a couple episodes. Yeah. I kind of, I kind of time it up to where the whole thing ends around like, like nine or whenever it's, it's supposed to end. So yeah, like, so yeah, you get there like quarter after eight. Yeah. You should be good for the new one, but check that out on Twitch right here on our Twitch channel. Yeah. yes sir and then tuesday february eleventh uh which is the correct date unlike in the promo I made earlier uh it's the next mads are back show bride of the gorilla yay we got oh we've got our q a guest I don't want I want to announce it in the newsletter tomorrow but Okay, well, I'm glad I didn't add it to the promo then. Q&A guest confirmed. Can I tease that it's a returning guest? It's a returning guest. Yes, it's a returning guest. That narrows it down a little for some of you. But yeah, it's going to be a fun time. Frank and Trace have new riffs. It's a stupid movie with Raymond Burr and Lon Chaney. It's basically, I was kind of scanning through it when I made the promo. It's essentially the story of the Wolfman, but with a gorilla. and also launching in it but not as it's also not really a gorilla it's like a demon that looks like a gorilla yeah and it's just kind of like raymond burr with like dark makeup around his eyes a little bit like they yes very very odd it's uh but yeah everyone I hope everyone can make that jokes for that I'm really looking forward to it This was before Valentine's Day. So this is our big Valentine's Day episode. And I didn't know this. We didn't know this until after we announced it. MJ and Bridget did a riff on Riff Trax of Bride of the Girl. Oh. Well, since Riff Trax did it, we obviously can't anymore. You know, it's... yeah no uh it's it's fine it's funny like I think after we did the witching hour stoned riff tracks released like mj and bridget watching that like within days of each other there was there was one like that and then there was another one too didn't like master pancake or something else like there was like two other riffs of stone that all happened at the same time as ours it was very strange Um, all right. Bri the gorilla. Don't miss it. That's our big show. Next show. Q and a guest is going to be announced in the new tomorrow. So get on the newsletter, dumb dash industries.com slash newsletter. Hang on. I just want to Spiros. I just want to highlight this comment by Spiro side. Cause I think they had some auto correct happening. I think they meant to say the get off my lawn t-shirt, but they put the get off my mom shirt, get some great looks. And I think that's a wonderful type. Get off my mom. Wow. Make that shirt. I think we have to now. Who would the mom be though? It would have to be like a mom from like a show or movie that was known for like a Stifler's mom or something. Get off my mom. That's my mom. I don't know you. uh that was that was a very funny typo that made me giggle thank you uh for that uh uh okay so then uh later on in the month we mentioned this earlier friday february twenty first twenty twenty five eight p.m eastern all new movie june night and we're gonna be watching the original doctor strange I love nothing more than trying to shove our comic book nerddom in Mary Jo's face and to educate her against her will about it. She knows about some comics and stuff, but she really has zero interest in it. But she enjoys watching this stuff and having us kind of try to, you know, it's fun watching it with someone who has really fresh eyes about it. And it's also fun watching you watch it because you do know more about it. And these things from the seventies, sometimes very, they're, they're only, they're very loosely adapted from the source material. So it's, it's interesting to see what liberties they take. But Wong is in this. I saw Wong. I don't know. I've never seen this movie. I've never seen this one either. I just know Jennifer Walters or Jessica Walters is in it. Yeah, I know Jessica Walters is in it. And yeah, Wong is in it too, a character based on Wong. That's all I know. It looks fantastic. It looks kind of like a softcore porn in some way. Yeah, well, Dr. Strange does look like, what's his name, John Holmes or whatever, the famous porn star. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, I wonder if he'll pop up in the MCU as a multiversal character. That would be awesome. But yeah, everyone, check that out. That'll be streaming right here on Twitch and in the Mary Jo Peel Show Clubhouse. Yep. Don't miss it. I'll put some fun commercials in and all that good stuff. And we have so much coming up at Dumb Industries in February. Get on our newsletter, as I mentioned earlier. Head to our website. Check out the calendar. We've picked all of the Super Dumb Bros games we're playing for next month. We've picked all the Mystery Hours we're doing next month. You can subscribe to the Google Calendar now if you want. You can get alerts and everything. I've thought of all the embarrassing stories I can talk about. We got them all. We got it all, baby. We got it all. We got a Google Doc. List every embarrassing thing you've ever done, Matt. Okay, I think it's finally that time. You all sat through our numerous sales pitches, so it is feature presentation time. All right. So as we said at the top of the show, this is our celebrity vehicle cartoons episode, and I have some weird ones. We mentioned at the beginning that Life with Louie is going to be one of them, but the others are... Excuse me, I almost burped again. Also of note, so first off, we have Camp Candy, which was a TV show about a summer camp where John Candy is the camp counselor. He plays himself loosely. Yes. And it's just, yeah, it's just camp shenanigans. You know, speaking of Ernest Goes to Camp, it's basically What If That, but with an animated John Candy. Or it's like the Camp Krusty episode of The Simpsons, kind of. Oh, nice. uh enjoy your counselor mr wow you know I remember that show kind of confusing me as a kid though because I was just like wait he's just john candy and he would show up like in live action I think at the beginning and end oh did he I I don't maybe they trimmed it down when I watched it on tv much later but uh yeah is this like a multiversal john candy where if he never became an actor he would have just been a camp counselor maybe oh I put the wrong link I put the wrong link. As usual, Treadwell J is pointing out. Hold on one second. God, I'm such a mess up. You're such a piece of shit, Chris. While Chris is fixing that camp candy. Look, Strawpole, StreamYard. You can see how I get the link wrong. Please don't join our StreamYard. Well, you can. We did that once. I accidentally put the StreamYard link into Mary Jo Beale's show and all hell broke loose. All hell's breaking loose. So, yeah, Camp Candy. And then after that, as I mentioned before, Life with Louie. Louie Anderson plays himself as a child and also plays his dad. And it's just sort of like his stand up about his family, but as a cartoon. After that, we have Chuck Norris Karate Commandos. This was a TV show or a cartoon, rather, where Chuck Norris has a team of karate commandos. Very self-explanatory. And in this episode, they fight someone called the Dolphin. So it's some type of a dolphin man, maybe. So if you would like to watch an animated Walker, Texas Ranger fight a dolphin man, there's that. That sounds amazing. And then we have what I hope wins an episode of Bruno the Kid, which Bruce Willis apparently had a TV show where he plays a spy child named Bruno. who gets into spy adventures, and he sometimes also talks to a CGI Bruce Willis head, which is done in bad Max Headroom-esque CGI on a giant computer screen, and that's how, because a lot of these, you know, they would have the live-action cameo by the real celebrity at the beginning, you know, and this is sort of that show's version of that, and it looks very bizarre. Wow. and uh and I remember bruno the kid being a thing when I was younger but I I just never realized that it was like a bruce willis vehicle so I'm I'm very curious to watch that and then we have don't even really remember this but uh it was a nineties thing so it's a little bit newer than than some of the others but now what was didn't bruce willis do like an album something with bruno the return of bruno yeah or that's where respect yourself that was his nickname I guess oh okay Yeah, the respect yourself and devil with the blue dress are on that. He had a brief period where he was kind of fancying himself as like a blues man. He would play like harmonica on stage. Understandably, yeah. When you think of the blues, you think of the star of Hudson Hawk. And then we have our wild card parental control, which as I mentioned last week, it feels like a Tim and Eric sketch. Every single human being on this is the most ridiculous person I've ever seen in my life. Serena makes a good point. No Hammer Man? I thought about Hammer Man. I looked at an episode, but all the ones that were available were very low quality, and I scanned through them, and they looked like there was not a lot to talk about. Yeah, that's the thing. Hammer Man is great to watch the opening credits. After that, it's just like, okay. I did think of it, but I scanned through it, and the one episode was just about graffiti. It was like Hammer Man handling graffiti. It seemed kind of boring, and the quality was just super, super low, so I I opted not to do that, but I did think of it. Thank you for pointing that out. But yeah. And then we have an episode of parental control, which is also a wonderful show. I cannot recommend. I really hope Bruno, the kid or parental control wins tonight, honestly. So so if you would like to watch an MTV terrible reality show where parents get to pick. someone for their daughter to go on a date with and then watch the dates on TV with the daughter's boyfriend that the parents don't approve of, hence them picking dates for the daughter. You should check that out. It's a fun time. Check it out, everyone. All right, we have a couple donations to get through here. Okay, let's do it. Let's see. We got one from Charlotte Greenwell. Charlotte. Charlotte, thank you. We just showed her painting earlier. Charlotte's an amazing artist. She did not put a prompt in here, so I guess I'll just thank you as combo. Thank you very much, Charlotte. Thank you, Charlotte. Trying to think of... Oh, the George Lucas thing you had in the pre-show. I haven't done George Lucas in a while. Oh, yeah. Do you do a good George Lucas? Yes, I guess you could say that. Well, thank you, Charlotte, for your donation. You know, when I was writing Star Wars, I had an idea that the bad guys would be all colorless and the good guys would be wearing color. It's pretty interesting. Why don't you think about that? Thank you, Charlotte. Awesome. And for my contribution to this here is... Well done. That George Lucas clip is crazy. All those Japanese commercials he was in. I think that's a Neil Cicerega compilation. For my contribution to this, here is the song Safety Dance as sang by Tiny Tim attempting to incorporate your name into it. One verse. We can dance if you want to. We can leave your friends behind. Cause your friends don't dance, and if they don't dance, then they're no friends of mine, Charlotte. We can go if we... Thank you, Charlotte. Thank you, Charlotte. Let's see. All right, we got two more here. This next one from Keesh, thank you, Keesh. I love Keesh. quiche says uh gollum singing miss you by the stones oh I I can I can pull that off I'm gonna look up the lyrics to make sure I'm saying them correctly though uh Yeah, that is when the Stones went disco. It's not my favorite Stones song, but it's a disco. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, here we go. I've been holding out so long. I've been sleeping all alone. Lord, I miss you. And I've been hanging on the phone. I've been sleeping all alone. I want to kiss you sometime. Nice. That was amazing. Thank you. Miss you. All right, last one here. What's the matter with you, boy? We're going to do show results and see what we're watching. This next one comes from Eric. Eric, thank you. Oh, from Eric McKeddon and Blue Eyed Lady. Oh, thank you so much, guys. Oh, thanks, y'all. You guys are awesome. And they say, can David Lynch and brother Ichabod do a total eclipse of the heart? Oh, Jesus Christ. Uh, the lyrics, but yes, I think we can do that. Yeah. Let me, let me just, I know this one pretty good, but I, uh, so, so, uh, which one do you want to be the, uh, the turnaround person or yeah, I'll be the turnaround person. That's perfect. Okay. Turn around. Oh, is my sound okay? Oh, let me... We have to turn the noise gate off so I can do this correct? Okay. Okay, start again. Turn around. Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round. Turn around. Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears. Turn around. Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by. Turn around. Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes. Turn around, bright eyes. Every now and then I fall apart. Turn around, bright eyes. Every now and then I fall apart. Let's cut to the chorus. And I need you now tonight. And I need you more than ever. And if you only hold me tight. We'll be holding on forever. And we'll only be making it right. Uh, is that enough? I can taste blood in my mouth. Uh, painful. Okay. Thank you so much. Eric McKenna, blue eyed lady. You guys rule. Oh my God. I just got a notification in my apartment. Uh, I just got a notification from Netflix. Guess what's coming February first. Oh, I thought you're about to say your notification said that Netflix was doing a price hike, uh, because that's happening. That is happening too, but it's all worth it because they're going to have home improvement on Netflix. Uh, um all right let's uh hit show results let's do it and thank you so much everyone hanging out with us tonight there's a hundred and fifty nine of you wow that is crazy pants hit show results whatever's in the top spot is what we shall come on bruno Oh, life with Louie by a vote. Look at that. It's almost a three-way tie. That is crazy pants. No love for Bruno or, well, there's some love for Bruno. Well, first of all, we have a hundred and sixty people watching and how many people have voted total in this? Only sixty-seven. You know, it's just like the U.S. elections. This is what happens when you don't participate in democracy. Life with Louie wins. Well, I think a lot of people actually really wanted to watch it. Okay. Well, maybe it is the will of the people. So Life with Louie, I think that's an older upload that I already had on there. So it's not one of the new ones. But if you type in Life with Louie, it is on there somewhere. And while you're doing that, I will turn our bed music off. Oh, turn that off. Turn that funky music off, white boy. More people voted for parental control than I thought that they would. So that's nice. Okay. We get it. We won't do reality television anymore. The people have spoken. Hold on one second. Why is this not uploading? Life. Louie. There we go. Upload. There we go. There we go. Okay, this one's about a homeless man, I think, that's living in Louis' garage. It's very strange. It's like that ALF episode we watched. Basically, yeah. Let me tell you about my family. See? He pops up in there. Oh, I was talking about... Well, Cam Candy, he does too. Yeah, that's what I was talking about. So now, is Louis Anderson born... like like the louis anderson basically yeah I mean it's like you have to imagine you know the louis that's portrayed in this it's like you know it's his act that he had been working on for like yeah it's it's based off his stand-up yeah But he's a kid, so it's kind of cheating when you think about it. A lot of celebrities had these kind of shows. Like we said, there's Bobby's World. Ellen DeGeneres had a show about a younger version of her. Rosie O'Donnell had a show. Rosie O'Donnell. Roseanne had one. Little Rosie. Seinfeld had one. Was that about him or just about the women he was trying to date at the time? But we never got to buy any of the stuff I wanted. Attention shoppers. Louie Anderson, your mother is looking for you. Please drop the cookies and come to the front of the store. Really? What are the odds? What was this on, like, Fox? This was on Fox. Yeah, this was on, like, Fox Saturday morning, so you could get up and watch, like, Batman the Animated Series. Every kid's favorite stand-up comic, Louie Anderson. The big three. I love Louie Anderson. I think he was hilarious. I do, too. Like, as a kid, like, I don't think any kid gave a shit who Louie Anderson was at this time. I think this show is more for parents who are just watching stuff with their kids. It's like you throw in a little something for the parents so they don't, you know, put a gun in their mouth during the cartoons in the morning. Thanks, Pete, but we got it. How is everything? You know, getting better. You remember Louie? This is Louie? It kind of looks like Joaquin Phoenix on David Letterman that one time. Well, we must be on the same schedule, Pete. I saw you here last week. The mom has a head like one of the Go-Bots. She has that suppository head. He's a bum! He smells like booze! Never give him money because he'll spend it on heroin! Anyway, Pete's the one who put Dad up for the job at the factory. This lady kind of sounds like the secretary from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I wonder if it's the same lady. He's a righteous dude. He's a real righteous dude. Weebies, dickheads, sluts. They all love him. The punks, the skins, the bluds, the grips. They all love him. Croc noted that the homeless guy was wearing flip-flops. Oh, Matt. It's premonition. It's premonition. This is my future. Oh, so he does the dads. Yeah, he was both the dad and him, yeah. The dad's the best character on this show. Louie has quite the camel toe. He really did try to disguise his voice. Did you clean the garage like I asked you to last week? They should have sped up little Louie's voice so that it sounds a little bit more youthful. I'm in the planning stages. I don't know. It's kind of funnier this way. He's fasting. Uh-huh. So what you're saying is... Go, Ryan. I'm going. Aw. Families. Who needs them? cookies louie you're gonna ruin your appetite wow on your mind you're making this poor kid self-conscious fattening up on cookies there boy you're a little pig boy aren't you little louie whoa oh wow He almost died. That was a close one. Are you all right? Almost tossed my cookies. It's perfectly normal to feel sick after a life-threatening experience. Is that Brian Doyle Murray? Yeah, I was just going to say that. Beat me by a second. That's so cool. Rick Springfield told me not to talk to strangers, too. Okay, okay. So maybe I'll just... Is he eating dog biscuits? Brian Delio Murray in Vacation, often pointed out by The Best Show as being one of the funniest scenes of all time. He's like eating a... In Christmas Vacation? Is that... No, in the first vacation, Brian Dole Murray plays like a hotel manager. Chevy Chase is like, what do you need my address for? And Brian Dole Murray just goes, we'd like to send out a mailer. He's like eating his Uncle Watermelon. I was just thinking, who's the boss in Christmas Vacation? Oh, yeah. Right. If I come over for dinner, they're gonna ask all those questions I don't wanna answer. Where are you living? Where are you working? What's that smell? What are those marks on your arms? I can't do it, Lou! But you're hungry, right? Hungry? I could eat a horse. Well, it's your lucky day. My dad's cooking tonight. And in other news, a portly boy was murdered by a homeless man outside. Ew. Louie. Pass the horse meat, please. Hey, how many is that for you, Louie? I don't know, Dad. Who's coning? I am. Let's see. Two more for Louie. All right. Dad is like a perfect hourglass figure. Look at him. It's Tommy's turn. Do you think his dad really sounded like that? I mean, it's a comedic exaggeration, I'm sure. I'm trying to think of who Louie reminds me of. Here's the raspy. Oh, these are great, Lou. Wow. Well, with dad's meatballs, it's amazing what the human body. Do you like tasting my dad's balls? Let me just say one more time, Lou. You really should never harbor strangers in your garage. You want one? Nah, I gotta do the dishes. Never let a stranger touch your dad's balls. I hear you. Families are tough. You mean you got a family? Where are they? They're dead. I killed them. It's the boss, man. Gotta go. You know, you can stay here for the night if you want. Really? Just one thing. You have to be gone by the time Dad leaves for work. Whoa, I'm not exactly an early riser. No problemo. I'll take care of it. Oh, and Lou, I like a good pillow. Rather picky for a... Do him and the mom sleep in separate beds? They must. Oh, well. Looks like he's wearing like the cap to a preparation H bottle on his head. I hope I'm not too late. Well, that guy could have just slit his throat in the car and he would have never seen it coming. Those aren't pillows. Good one. Yes, it's the woman from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Yeah, she was in Ferris Bueller, too. Oh, so it was that lady. Okay. The one who keeps blowing the ferns out of her hair. Gobble, gobble. I don't know if that's impressive or sad that we can identify all of these comedy people in this stupid children's cartoon. Willy's pants go up to like his nipples. I know. He's in like the Tony Soprano fit with the pants that are like super high and the polo shirt. It's like when I try to make Jen laugh and I pull my shorts up really high and tuck my t-shirt into it. That's one of the joys of being in a couple and doing stupid stuff like that. Like I like to put my arms in like the opposite sleeve, you know, and then go around like this. His dad is pretty great. Maybe so, but he's going in the wrong direction. One more time. Heat the pie. And then I want one scoop of vanilla ice cream on top of the pie. Wow. And two scoops of strawberry on the side. See, this is actually a cautionary tale about the welfare state. If you... If you allow someone to just live with you for free, they'll become dependent and they'll start getting, you know, more and more demanding. If you give a mouse a cookie... Thanks a million. So I put a bug bomb in the garage and I gassed him out. Oh, just five more minutes. No, Pete. He just let the car run him over. Yeah, just kill him with carbon monoxide poisoning. Great. What I was wondering, and please let me know if I'm on the line, but what do you do about money? That's easy. Bigger yes it is, Brian. What about a job? Look at me, Lou. Who's going to hire me? He kinda looks like the Hamburglar now with that outfit. Maybe I can help. I can't believe Dad wears these. Geez! No wonder Mom fell in love with him in his uniform. See? I told you. You look like a new man. Yeah, a new man who got dressed with a blindfold on. Oh, would you rather just looked like the dirty piece of shit that you were? Golf outfit? That's Andy Anderson. Poor guy, down on his luck and absolutely no fashion sense. How'd the job hunt go today? Eh, not too good. It's a tough market out there. But I gave it the old college try. I got something for you. Getting a job the hollerin' way. never read her it's full of great advice you need to make an account on linkedin no did you agree to upload your resume sunshine smile and uh firm but not threatening handshake every time lou staccato says he looks like rich cause now that's funny oh look read the book we'll talk later I'm going to check out the classifieds Try not to drip on the chair, okay? I gotta nod my stomach whenever I think about being unemployed. Can't live with them? Can't recycle them. Hey, Dad? Can I take a look at the paper? What for? Trying to keep up on world events. Oh, classifieds, huh? You're not thinking of putting me up for sale again, are you? There goes my master plan. I like that there's a real TV show on in the background. I know. That's pretty cool. What are you doing? That was Swan Lake. Change it back. You're not going away. You missed the pirouette. A pirouette for you is going to make you feel better. Alright, let's see one. That's great. You promised me a pirouette and I want to see it. He's built like Donkey Kong. He has massive arms and Aww. Aww, he moves like a little angel. Dad, you're losing it. I'm just kidding you. How about a plan? Gotcha, kid. Louie has, like, no articulation. He's built like Ram Man from He-Man. He just, like... You're right. That is Andy Anderson. Yesterday, he was at the bus stop. Is that the grandma from Looney Tunes? I had no idea they were having money problems. I have an idea. Let's bring her a Bundt cake. You're sure it was him? I'm really into this plot. This isn't bad. I'm enjoying this more than I thought I would. I mean it can't be worse than the weird science show. Remember that era when you could just come home from work and just take out everything on your spouse? Well that man has no ass. He's built like me. Yeah, it's weird. It's like Louis has nothing but an ass. It's like the Arnold Schwarzenegger twins principle where one of them got all the traits and the other one got none of them. Yeah. So, I was wondering, since we got a few minutes, how about we go through the