It’s officially Daylight Savings Time which is slowly killing Matt & Chris but that doesn’t stop them from diving back into the Telltale game The Walking Dead to fight some zombies and grab some pillows! Plus: to celebrate MAR10, the Super Dumb Bros. play a couple rounds of Mario Kart w/ viewers!

Transcript: Looney Tunes will be right back after these messages. Hello, my Koopas! Koopa! Koopa! Koopa! Koopa! Koopa! Koopa! Koopa! Koopa! Koopa! Koopa! Koopa! Koopa! Koopa! Koopa! I'm King Koopa, and today is Kids' Rights Day! Yay! We all believe in kids' rights, and I got a box here full of kids' rights. It's completely full of them. This box full of kids' rights. Wait a minute. These are all kids' lefts. Dammit, lefts! They're only left. Left-handed seat. Left-handed. That's... Okay. Time to give a children's giant atlas of the universe to the trooper in the magic seat! Watch out. Ratso, the card, please. Hiya, Ratso. How are ya? Nice to... No, no, don't pull me! It always pulls me. Red Seven! Yay, you're Red Seven! How you doing, trooper? What's your name? Billy. Billy! Are you a trooper, Billy? I got an atlas for you, Billy. I got an atlas for Billy. Here it comes. Here it comes. Look at this! Is this big? Yeah! Say hello to Mom and Dad! hi okay take the answers yay billy what is it now it's my right as a big kid who never grew up to play the cartoons I want and if I don't I hold my breath till I turn pink here's all's well and it will be if I get my way I'll be back with more prizes and more cartoons That was great, kids. That's nice. What are you, from Biafra? I don't know. It's all tough with your... I am the Apostle Paul, though my mother called me Saul, I wrote much of the New Testament that much is true, but it was on the road to Damascus that I began to see, though first blinded, his wounds now healed on me, Peter you shied away from what you said you'd do, your sneakers ran, not stood, when you said you would, choosing flight for convenience, you ground you did not stand, when Jesus needed you most, you fled, when he bled, the cock rode thrice before the Morning, son. Confirming to the world all you had done is run. Unable to stand strong in the test of fire, doing what is hard, you weltered and failed, fleeing from his guards. I am Peterson would call me The Rock. WWF choosing my nickname seemed a little bit insane, but I digress for intensity I do not lack. For everything I do, I seek take nothing back, when he called me out to walk with him on the water, I jumped and leapt into the waves I saunter, while Paul it's true that later, you did much good, that early you murdered, a bit like Robin Hood, though well educated, I'm certain that you are, you used your talents for evil, like a ruthless. Sam, it's good a miracle sent to blind you, in order that you might see that God is majestic and all the more glorious to be. Ozzy? Yeah? Do you have a secret fantasy? Yes, I'd like to fly to New York for a colonoscopy. Enter the CBS Cares colonoscopy sweepstakes. If you win our grand prize, we'll fly you to New York for three nights at a luxury hotel, watch the sunrise over Central Park, then kick back, relax, and enjoy a complimentary colonoscopy. So what are you waiting for? You can't win if you don't enter. Visit cbscares.tv. CBS Cares, making your fantasies come true. Man, I went to this bar in Nashville. This band was playing Kelly's Heroes, a great guitarist, best guitarist I've ever seen. And they were playing old country music with a heavy blues rock twist. So they do this great version of Ghost Riders in the Sky. And this brilliant guitarist just goes way out on a limb. And everybody in the crowd, it was so fun to be there. They're just thrilled to death. Because they're watching this man doing the same thing that surfers do. He's like dancing on the edge of chaos and order. In this virtuosic manner. And everyone is so taken by that that... It just lifts them out of the normality of their existence. You see this joy just transfuse them and that's because they got an intimation of genuine meaning. Is he seducing me? What am I, a bed bug? In the cities, in our houses, bedbugs have found a place to live. These little creatures infest our dwellings. They could hide any place in our apartments, but the place they love best is our beds. Bedbugs have penises like knives. Females don't need any genitals to mate. Stab me. Chase me. Mate with me. Seduce me. He is so strong and sharp. He doesn't need a vagina at all. He ejaculates in my wound. Via my bloodstream, the sperm will travel on their own to my ovaries. In two weeks, five hundred eggs would hatch. And the baby bedbugs would feed on the blood of whoever sleeps in the bed. Gozo! Well, today is my birthday. I'm just thirty. I'm just thirty. Well, I guess that means that next year, you'll be thirty-one. Good luck. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na na na na na na na na Thank you. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Thank you. And finally, you've probably seen this video or something similar all over your timeline. I know I've seen it. We're shaking our heads at this man who decided to spend fourteen thousand dollars to transform into a dog. So he's still a mammal, y'all, but Look at this. Not rolling over. Like, for real. The man who goes by Toko says the collie costume has helped his dream come true of becoming an animal. You've been an animal, just not that kind of animal. He has been posting videos of the suit in the suit, rather, on his YouTube page for about a year. But this was his first time going out in public. Let me know what you think about it. Does it look real? This is the part I was waiting on. The other dogs like, no, fam, this don't look right. Use that hashtag, I am up. What say you, Greg? I just have nothing to say about that at all. And it's, like, really? Wow. I cannot. Mine! Ain't no shame Ain't no blame No one's sane All the time Raise some cane Make it right Don't need money Gonna rock you all night Wanna rest, baby Don't wanna fight Down, down, slow mama Every day and night Face your pain Make things right Don't need money Gonna rock you all night When you need some help, just call to the man up above The only thing you're about to get is true love When you're feeling down And you want some love Always keep in mind To do the pretty right job Hey, they're on the set of Arsenic and Old Lace. Yeah, I like the decor. Mid-century grandma. Well, someone's home. They're playing the piano. By the way, this whole scene was improv. Hey, turn your flashlights off. We don't want any extra light in this film. This movie is like if John Wick had rheumatoid arthritis. And glaucoma. What's this movie about again? I have no idea. Well, there's a chandelier. Why not bring Liberace in? That'll cheer things up. Have we mentioned how great the soundtrack is? Let's try to focus on the good things. Welcome back to Catatonic Caper. Uncut gems didn't have this kind of tension. The one-eight-hundred got junk people are sneaky. Coming soon to Weird and Wonderful Wednesday Watchalongs. Pretty, isn't she? The third largest city in the country. And she's quite a lady. Kind of peaceful, too, in the warm, friendly light of day. But when the light goes down and the city is dark, its back streets and brooding alleys become a jungle. And its denizens stretch out their claws of violence from the shadows. That's where I come in. Sims, homicide. Because murder is my business, and midnight is my beat. And it takes me to the real story behind a thousand front page headlines. Sometimes to the savage fury of a report that begins when a man's life is ended. And so the word goes out along the city's vast network of communication. Killers loose, ready to kill again, dragging innocent lives with them in a reckless pattern of flight as they try to hide in a city stripped naked where there is no escape. But the wheels of the law's machinery grind hard and the long arms of the department stretch out, girdling the city, drawing the steel net tighter and tighter. Oh, my God. This trip to Bermuda. We'll fly you and a guest from Los Angeles for a week in Bermuda at the elegant Elbow Beach Hotel. Look, it's the captain and Tennille. Enjoy the sparkling clear ocean, famous pink sand beaches, superb dining, entertainment, starlit skies where memories are made furnished by the Elbow Beach Hotel. It's normally priced at... I already paid my tab. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. No, you didn't. I'm leaving with my drink now. I want to see the skeleton try to drink the drink and he just pours it all over his mask. Greetings, children! Have you ever wanted to torment your toys in the hellfire of agony and defeat? Well, look no further, because there is a new Brother Ichabod doll coming this fall from hell! Don't think so. He has no eye contact. Crush all your foes under your feet before sending them off to their eternal doom! Yes, let's go! Stomp Iron Man into the dust! Throw Barbie onto a barbecue! The Brother Ichabod doll even comes with its very own shamien! A shamien! So you too can experience the joys of being a single parent of an estranged child! The Brother Ichabod doll is available now at Little Demon Toys, Fires and Fun, Build-A-Ghoul Workshop, and Kmart! We love our Brother Ichabod! Order today! Mahel Inc. is not responsible for fires caused by playing with the Brother Ichabod doll or any demonic presence that takes over your home and or husband. This is coming from our clubhouse chat from Mrs. Torgo. Mary Jo, where would you take Roddy on your first date? straight to my sofa for a makeout session. Oh, Cal, I don't know. He's rather continental, so I would probably take him out, if it were in Minneapolis, for martinis or go the complete opposite way and take him on a hike to Minnehaha Falls or something like that. He'd love that, I'm sure. Yeah. Where would you take him, Chris? Where would I take Roddy McDowell on our first date? I don't know. Maybe a movie. Maybe we'll go just take a stroll in the village. Go to some antique shops. Oh, nice. I think a theater date would work well. Yeah, go see it. We'll go see the new Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross. Yeah, I'd love to see that. Nobody expects the Ironside Inquisition. Yeah, watching him walk around and do nothing is so much more interesting than seeing the killings by the monster. Will he walk into another room? Or stay in this room? Oh my god, the suspense is killing me! Aye, aye, aye. I've got his cataracts. Oh, damn. Marriage agrees with me. Oh, now I can't do the Harpo Groucho mirror scene. Jimmy Lee Curtis is in there. Well, that was a productive afternoon. This is like a real estate video. My dinner with Andre didn't have this many indoor scenes. hello hey how's it going everybody hey bud how you doing good how are you doing everyone out in twitch welcome welcome everybody twitch and dumb nation all are welcome all are welcome crossover crossover it's that tiny lady from poltergeist said it's all right jesus loves you he told me so have you ever seen american movie greatest movie ever made I've seen clips from it I don't think I've ever seen the whole thing but I know I think I've seen the part where he takes his mom into the woods but like it's a great movie I still don't even know if it's real or not something about it makes me think it might not be real but Well, we can maybe discuss that later tonight at some point because this, of course, is Super Dumb Brothers, our stream where we get together and we play some video games. But more importantly, we kind of just bullshit around. We talk. We catch up with all of you. It's a good hang to begin the week, and this week has began on a doozy. It's daylight savings time. I just felt like shit all day. I'm not nearly as together for show night as I usually am. Usually I like to get a shower, you know, and be nice and clean. This is probably the grossest I've ever been on stream physically. You've definitely been worse. No, I'm just kidding. No, the hour, it's so weird how much an hour makes a difference. But yeah, my problem is... I forget this, but there's like six clocks in our apartment that don't automatically jump forward. So I've been like all day resetting them. You're afraid that you're like gaslighting yourself because you're like, did I actually reset this one or do I need to still? Six clocks is a lot. This stream is clean. Oh, happy Mario Day. Martin Day. Happy Martin Day. My favorite show off of the original lineup of Fox. Yeah, someone said we're not in a Discord server. They're like, oh, you guys aren't playing Mario on Mario Day. Because we're playing The Walking Dead tonight. Not so, though. Yes. You're wrong, Spider-Man. Because we will be playing tonight. We'll be doing some Mario Kart for our group games, so. Should we do all blue shell? I think we should do at least one round and all blue shell round because that was hilarious and great. It was so great. Or maybe we could pick another kind of like a weird, another power up or something. Another weird power up to throw in the mix. But yeah, so we are celebrating. Do like blue shells and bananas. So the entire course is just like a nightmare to drive across at all times. Yes. uh rush more yankee no mario games ever drop in price ever they sometimes do I think some I think mario wonder is actually on sale right now if you guys haven't played that oh yeah I think I saw that too that's never the ones that I want to be on sale I know I think last mario day I got luigi's mansion three for like forty bucks or something that was cool yeah but yeah they they generally do not lower the price of the mario games I keep waiting on them to just drop the price for that Link's Awakening remake or the Echoes of Wisdom remake because they're both games I really want to play, but they're just so fucking expensive for what are essentially like Game Boy games. I just can't pay sixty bucks for a video game. Like, I know I'll beat it in a weekend tops, you know, I can't justify that much money. I wish blockbusters were still around so you could just go and like rent a video game and just have it for the weekend. And, you know, and someone needs to make up a like a I know there's like Xbox Live and stuff like that, but something where you can just have like an entire game for a couple of days, like like when you rent a movie on Apple TV, you know, you can either buy it or you can just like rent it for a week. Yes. Let us do that, Nintendo. bring back blockbuster bring back blockbuster bring back family video they were like blockbuster weird adult video section in the back when people are nostalgic for blockbuster I'm like okay but it's like blockbuster killed that in the first place yeah people hated blockbuster when blockbuster was a thing it's only kind of been in the last ten years that they've kind of anything But anyway, we'll be talking more about crap like that tonight, and we'll be playing the Walking Dead Telltale game, some more of that. This has been our month of diving into games that we've already previously done. Yeah, we started this back in October. We were doing all spooky games. And yeah, this is we got like, I don't know, a little bit into the story. I don't know how much, but we're just going to pick up right where we left off. I think I'm at a gas station with some people. You spent like nine hours looking for like a key, I think, last time. I'm at a gas station with a bunch of strangers. I mean, it's pretty much every episode of The Walking Dead. So we'll be playing that. You go somewhere, you meet an unscrupulous cast of characters. Everything seems idyllic. The zombies get in. Maybe not everything is as it seems. um so yeah and also I just want to remind folks you can head to dumb industries.com super dumb bros and uh watch tonight's program completely ad free if you uh want to stick it to bezos and amazon to the man you can go there watch the same program still have access to the twitch chat you also get the secret chat which I can confirm is better for the environment I got the reports back. Well, all that Bitcoin mining we've been doing, though, has really been kind of just making it sort of a net, you know, zero. Yeah. We're going to introduce the dumb coin soon. That's our next. We're going to be like the Hawk to a girl, and we're going to announce our new coin. And then we're going to get accused of fraud. No. Also, if you head to dumb-industries.com slash donate, if you send us a donation of any dollar amount throughout tonight's program, we'll give you a shout out. In the form of one of our past terrible impressions. I'm so good at pointing stuff now. Yeah, look at that. I feel like Vanna White, or like a weatherman. Yeah, dumb rug pull time. We're going to hype up this dumb coin, everyone. Hype the shit out of it. Then rip all of you off. That's pretty much what the scam, right? They just like talk up this thing and then... I actually don't know what any of this means. I'm going to be honest with you. It's so dumb. Anyway, so you can do that. You can also ask us a question. We'll answer it on the air. Yeah, ask us to do one of our weird impressions. Whatever you'd like. There's no bottom. We'll do whatever you want. I don't know. Maybe we can we can do some like Mario impressions today if people ask, because I was to me. Because I meant to bring this up. I was playing over the weekend. Inga and I have been playing through Super Mario World just for a long time, you know, just in the background every now and again. And we got toward the end and I brought up, you know, like when Mario jumps and he hits things with his head, he's not hitting him with his head, he's hitting him with his fist. Yes. And I'm like, well, that's much better because if he was hitting them with his head, he would have CTE probably. And then I just came up with this whole scenario where Mario, Luigi's like, Mario, your hands are shaking all the time. What's going on? And then they take him to the doctor. Mario, the brain scans are not so good. They say you have the brain of a sixty seven year old. You've got to stop hitting things with your head. OK, let's see. I believe this. And then Bowser becomes the president and he tries to take Medicaid away so Mario can't get the help he needs. mario president bowser sent willie waluigi to defund the medicaid you can't get to your brain if they don't put wario and waluigi in the next mario brothers movie oh yeah they don't they don't show up in that first one yeah let's riot let's just take them down completely um Yeah. Dumb NFT. I forgot. We had a dumb NFT briefly. Oh, he didn't. No one said that in chat. That was a real thing. Wait, what did they say? Um, I still have my dumb NFT, Rushmore Yankee. Hold on to that. It'll be valuable. I don't have any Bitcoin, but I do have a lot of points in the McDonald's app. And I think that that's been more valuable to me in the long run. Okay, I think I remember now. Right, we're at this place and there's like zombies and I gotta do something. Okay. My pillow? Oh no, Mike Lindell's over there. He's a zombie. No, that's just what he normally looks like. Where? Oh yeah, that is a truck over there. Oh, I see. Okay. I kind of forgot how to control this game. I like the art in this a lot. Is this like the cell shading? You know, when we were watching Silver Surfer the other day, it kind of reminded me of this. Oh, yeah. Like the thick lines around everything. It's very cool. This is kind of just what Tampa looks like normally. He says, Bowser is still a better choice than our current reality. Probably. All right. I think I have to go back to this pillow, maybe. Danny says we're getting a glimpse into the What If universe where Matt writes for Robot Chicken, and I love it. We need this more, please. Thank you. Yeah, sometimes I'll just, like, get, like, on a weird scenario and, uh... Mario, have you heard of a Chris Benoit before? It's gonna happen to you if you don't get the help. Badder things happen when your brains are messed up, Mario. Give me that, my pillow. Good luck smothering them to death. That's not really what I have in mind. Oh, I'm going to take a nap. Where do I have to go? Let's see. We can hide by that RV. If we're quiet and keep our heads down. Okay, let's try it. Jpoe. Twenty twenty two says there will be no colonoscopies in the zombie apocalypse. You want to know what's so weird? That Aussie colonoscopy clip is an older one I used in a pre show a long time ago and then we brought it back for tonight and I didn't even. Yeah, like I'd use that long before this ever happened to me. So we're going to need weapons. But I have a creating my own reality. Um. This is my inventory. Leah says, glad to catch SuperDumbBrothers today. The world is bleak. Yeah, it is. But the weather felt nicer out where we were. I don't know if anybody else felt like it was. That was nice. It wasn't so windy. Oh, God. Come on. How do I just? I got a pillow. I thought the pillow was going to change everything. Let's head back to that wall. Safe there. Yeah, I agree. There's pillows over there. Matt, can you look up what I'm supposed to do in this part? Sure, yeah, let me... Probably something I should have done before we got started. You're good. They really want to get into that room. Yes, you said that. Walking Dead telltale walkthrough. Oh, IGN.com, the best walkthrough website where if you can tolerate reloading every five thousand seconds, yeah, and all the ads, you'll get your answer. So what chapter are we on or what episode? Do you know? It's episode one. I don't know what chapter we're up to, but. Okay. What are you going to do with that? I don't really know. Do you have any tricks for getting into cars? Not without tools. A bunch of noise. Soldry voice. Sounds like he should be making, should be doing like very white, sweet talk downs with that voice. I think I found a pretty damn way to stuff these guys quietly. Let's see... Okay, lean to the left, pick up the pillow just on the other side of the wall, look to the right and choose to run to the truck. At the truck, you can't get in the window. Instead, kill the zombie leaning against the nearby car by peering around the truck and selecting the pillow icon while looking at the zombie. Ahhhh. Alright. There we go. Serena, seventeen, twelve, pillow fight activated. Wouldn't it be great if something that stupid just happened to us? Wait, what? Does she have a silencer? Well, they're using the pillow as a silencer, I guess. Oh, I don't think that works. Yeah, that's still pretty loud. TV and movies always play down how loud guns are. Like, I would love to watch an action movie where, like, a gunfight gets done happening and everybody's just like, what? After, like, give up, Mr. Bond! What? ! Gonna put the car in neutral. Thanks for the hint, game. Oh, that's where I just came from. Okay, sorry. Let me know when you need another... Line! Sometimes if you just get going a little bit, you know, it becomes intuitive. Open the car door next to the zombie you just killed and take the spark plug, move the gear shift, return to the truck, use the spark plug on the window to get the ice pick. Let me see the spark plug. I'm gonna stick it up my ass. Uh-oh. Nemesir Kolboth says the loudness of gunfire was a great recurring gag on Archer. I need to watch more Archer. It seems like one of those things I would really like, and I just never really got into it. It has all my favorite people in it. Maybe I'll start watching Archer. I need a new thing to get into. That could scramble a brain pretty good. Stick it up his ass. The great for us, this game is just him just like shoving that screwdriver up his asses. Come on. You don't have to kill him that way. Oh, it's just just look, we all have our thing out here in the wasteland. OK, just let me do this. All right, so now can I go over here? Well, I'm gonna go for it. No, I don't think I'm supposed to be here. His entire game is just sneaking around. Just being very, very sneaky. Okay, do you need further? Yeah. Okay, so return to the motel. Sorry, I was reading the chat. Return to the motel. Oh, wait. Move the gear shift. Return to the truck. Use the spark plug on the window to get the ice pick. Return to the motel sign where you started the area. Look over the wall and highlight the zombie and choose the ice pick option. Aye, aye, aye. All right. So I got to go back. Yeah. Gotta go back. Danny asks, dumb fam, please take time to respond to this. How do you think Matt and Chris would do in a real zombie apocalypse? I don't intend on surviving any apocalypse. I've said this a thousand times. When stuff goes wrong, I'm just standing out in front of my house and waiting on whatever it is. Dope. You are dead. It's like the Dwight Schrute It Is Your Birthday sign. I don't think I'd be very resourceful in a zombie apocalypse. I don't even want to try. I've always said if I heard an atomic bomb was headed towards us, I would just go stand out in front of my apartment. That's horrible. I don't want to survive that, even if I did, because it's just going to be horrible. Plus, that just sounds like a nice, quick way to go out in general. Who could ask for better? It's hard to move the joystick in time. Oh, that poor man. So what are you trying to do? I just have to look over the thing and then I have to hover over the zombie and hit the ice pick button, but it's limited. But if you don't do it super quick, you're going to get got. I see. All right, we've got a couple of donations here. Okay. First one here comes from Scribbler Johnny. Thank you, Scribbler. scribbler johnny says uh you'd like to like a short rendition of when loving lovers love paul stanley and randy newman let's pull up the uh lyrics for this yeah let me do that believe it or not I'm not super familiar with this like I'm mainly an early mystery science theater yeah let's see uh so okay so it's like uh okay here we go so wait you'll be um wait you do both of these I don't do either do you want me to do do you want me to just do the whole thing yeah why don't you just do it I don't know and I don't remember how the melody goes so I'm just gonna wing this so memory memory And then it's back and loving lovers love again Who knows where it flies The lustrous love must rise Into the endless skies A new day shining bright Your heart is wings to fly And no one else can fly I really can't say why I really do like pie. I know a couple of guys. They really do like pie. They're loving lovers, lovers, love, golden, shimmering, lustrous, lovely, loving, loving, love, love, love. That's Randy. That was amazing. Good night. Well done. It's revealing how little MST street cred I actually do have every time I get one of these kinds of things. You nailed it. Scribbler Johnny, thank you so much. We have another one here from Jackie B. Jackie, thank you. Jackie says, so excited for some video games. I had a bike accident on Saturday and busted my knee. Oh, no. Sorry. If you could choose your favorite impression for a Get Well song, it'll make my week or get me through till Thursday. Jackie. I'm so sorry. Busted you, me. You know what I was thinking? Because it was in the pre-show. You're Jordan Peterson you haven't done in a while. You know, Jordan Peterson and just being moved by the power of music. Young man, Sonny Jim, I'll tell you if you just start making your bed, it'll make all the difference, Sonny boy. What? Uh... Yeah, let me think. What's a good song for feeling better? Get well, get well soon. We want you to get well. I could do a little bit of Mr. Blue Sky by ELO. I don't know. Oh, that'd be good. I don't know if I can actually really sing in that Jordan Peterson voice very well, but like... I don't know. I haven't done Tiny Tim yet, so this is Tiny Tim singing Mr. Blue Sky for Jackie to get well. The sun is shining in the sky. There ain't a cloud in sight. It's stopped raining. Everybody's in a haze. And don't you know, it's a beautiful new day. Mr. Blue Sky, please tell us why you had to hide away for so long. Where did we go wrong? Get feeling well, Miss Jackie B. You had to hide away for so long. tell me where it went wrong uh I kind of lost it there toward the end I was trying to find a way to work your name jackie but uh but we do hope you get feeling well me and chris and uh tiny tiny t yes tiny t tim get well soon that's the song I always listen to when I need to get feeling better it's uh like an antidepressant you can't be sad and listen to you can't be sad and listen to mr blue sky or the song uh have you ever heard strokin before by clarence carter yes I love strokin You can't be sad and listen to that song. That's true. I be stroking. That's what I be doing. He had a bunch of songs that are absolutely hilarious. I've heard only two of them. I've heard, well, stroking is the best one, but then there's like, what's it like? Backdoor Santa. Isn't that one of them? Sounds about right. There's also one, it's all just about how every living creature on the planet makes love. Cows make love. Okay, I know what you're talking about, yeah. yeah most of his songs are just him kind of talking like I love the part and strogan's like he's like tell me when's the last time that you made love did you make love yesterday did you make love last week did you make love last year or maybe you'll be making love tonight Stroking Clarence Carter, but don't stroke so fast. We can get that guy by the wall over there. Yeah, I bet. How do I go there? Warcliffe Killers. Stroking to the east, stroking to the west, stroking to the two dudes that I love best. Hell yeah. Rushmore Yankee. Clarence Carter. Ooh, shit. Yeah, that's... Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter. The thing about this game is, like, I just can't... The controls just aren't intuitive at all, so I'm like... Yeah, well, they're not really games. They're, like, a weird, like, visual novel, kind of. You have to, like, think of them as, like, not a game. It's like I keep debating buying the Telltale Batman series because my sister said it was all right, but then, like, I watch you play this, and this just kind of seems like it sucks, so I don't know if it's... I know. I wish it was more just, like, choose your own adventure where I didn't have to actually control anything. It's just, like... No matter what, you get a good story instead of getting eaten by zombies. Because you didn't, you know, whatever. Those Choose Your Own Adventure books were great. I have a Hardy Boys one somewhere at my parents' house that rocks. Yeah, I love those books. I don't know why they made them the way they did, though, because it was always like, you know, you'd read one part and be like, turn to page two hundred for this thing that you turn there and then like you get to the end and then it'd be like, turn to page sixty. You're just like, who put this thing together? Yeah. Uh... Dude's got some great genes. JustJackieB asked, have you played the Choose Your Own Adventure game? Oh, I didn't know there was a thing. I am definitely interested in that now, though. Did you watch the Black Mirror Choose Your Own Adventure episode? I wanted to, but it only worked on a handful of things, like nothing we had in our house at the time. Oh, really? I didn't know that that was, like, limited. Yeah, it was. It definitely looked cool, though. But, yeah, there used to be, like, a bunch of interactive kind of stuff on Netflix, and I think they took all of it off because just nobody cared enough. Exciting gameplay. Rat. Rad. It's going to be me out in the wasteland one day. Bandersnatch. Yes, thank you, Mr. Znatural. I thought it was pretty awesome. It was like... It gets kind of meta. Like, it recognizes Netflix at one point. Oh, weird. Hello in there. We're here to help. Please! It's like, it becomes aware that it's being watched by you on Netflix, but it takes place in the eighties. So he has no idea what Netflix is. Oh, weird. Oh, that sounds awesome. Yeah. It's pretty cool. It's probably not even on there anymore, but. The Black Mirror is a real hit or miss. The good ones are really good, but then the bad ones all feel like, what if the guy who worked for Vice wrote the Twilight Zone? I mean, like, the first three seasons I thought were, like, flawless, but then I watched a couple that were just like, come on. Really? Come on, Charlie. You do better than that. Though it's still got a better track record than the new Twilight Zone. That's true. Kill her. I'm trying to think of who she reminds me of. She looked like Joan Cusack, maybe? Courtney Cox. Oh my god, speaking of Courtney Cox, I have been re-watching the Scream movies in the background while I work, and I was watching Scream three not too long ago. She has the worst hair ever in that movie, and I don't know who gave it to her. In Scream three, yeah. In Scream three, yeah. It's like she pissed off the stylist. Isn't that like a meme? She pissed off the stylist, yeah. They show her bangs. Yeah, and they gave her these weird tiny bangs. What do you mean, borrow? Give it to me. I can just, you know, end this, and then there's no problem. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Please, I don't want to be one of them. They're satanic. Uh... You made a difficult choice. I wish those would pop up in my life when I do big things. What does that mean? I changed, like, the trajectory of the story? Uh, probably, yeah. Or maybe that you, like, earned points or something. Like, a big story beat, I think. Ooh la la. It is still early in the zombie apocalypse, right? She did the right thing. Your head wouldn't look like that still if you did that. No. Let's get out of here. I hate when they, in movies and TV, when someone vomits, but you never hear the actual splatter of it. It's like... he recovered from that really fast he was just kind of like and then he just stood back up again like if that were me I would have been like gasping for air for the next like minute and a half all just big things drool came out you know yeah you'd be like I do I do not enjoy throwing up oh that throwing up is the worst Though I think the only thing worse than throwing up is feeling like you need to throw up and not being able to. That is the worst feeling. The build up, yeah. That's Dusty Slay. It is. We're having a good time in the apocalypse. Derek's opening for him on some dates. I know town hall. I think I've got a, I've got to get in and see one of those. Yeah. I saw dusty like a bajillion years ago because he started doing comedy in Charleston and I started doing comedy in Greenville and he like popped in and did like a set or two in the, some of the venues in our area. All right. What am I supposed to do now? Hey there. Hi. I'm not your dad! I don't love you! to feed you to the zombies it would be so goddamn terrifying to be a kid in the zombie apocalypse right just surrounded by fucking adults and most of them are insane um okay can you look up what I have to do once I get back to the bar okay uh yes let me pop on um Okay, once back at the pharmacy, talk to Doug to go outside. Note Lee's brother with the keys to the far right, the brick on the ground, and the combination lock on the door. Look at each one. Sure. Sure. Jaypo, is it just me that thinks this is not a very good game? It could just be watching me play it is not a very good game. But you're not really in this for the gameplay. It's more about the story. And there's some people who really like games with a real heavy story and some people who don't like them at all. I like a real basic story, but nothing that, you know... It makes me have to follow a narrative at the same time while I'm playing shit. It's kind of the problem with Skyward Sword is that there's too much narrative and by the time you beat a boss and figure out all the stuff to get through the dungeon, you get through and then the next beat happens and you don't even remember what happened before. You're like, what? We should think about searching that guy across the street. Maybe he has them, but who knows if he actually worked here. Oh, yeah, and I want to take a second to talk about, too, since we kind of just decided on this at the last minute, Witching Hour Marathon happening tomorrow at seven. Oh, yeah. Kind of a last-minute thing we decided on, but, yeah, that's going to be super fun. Yeah, I'm going to be... I hear Brother Ichabod is hosting. Oh, yes, yes, Brother... Thank you, thank you. Yeah, Brother Ichabod's going to be hosting live tomorrow night, so he'll be popping in in between episodes to do, like, little Q&As with everybody and to... you know yell and scream and generally do his thing and uh and we're going to be playing our final versions of episodes three and four which will then be going on to the odds and end collection finally so that's yes what all of this is is celebrating thank you so much everybody for your patience uh with us getting those done there's a lot of life has happened in the last month and a half uh so it's uh we do appreciate it but those will be up after that so They're literally the same as the ones we played back in December, or whenever we played the last ones, just there's like two little tweaks that I wanted to make. I did, but it was too risky. Then a bunch of guys showed up and they tried. and what happened I think they're most of who you see wandering around out there penguins nine one ninety two says when does that start I think we're gonna start at seven the the aim is to go from like seven to eleven ish yeah uh each episode's about an hour it's about an hour a little bit less one or two of them you're gonna do some or ichabod's gonna do some first down fuck this up uh yeah uh between Yeah, he's going to do some stuff. Yeah, we thought it would be fun for people to ask him questions about what hell's like, you know. So be thinking of some fun things to ask him. And I'm sure Shamian will pop up and make an appearance at some point. Yeah, it's going to be a fun night. Man, that's a hasty fortification job over there. Dan Wally asks, do Matt's roommates' neighbors know Ichabod is hosting? I'll let them know. I think it'll be fine. It's, uh, you know, it's, uh, well, one, it's Brother Ichabod who's hosting and he's in hell, but even if I was the one that was hosting, uh, he's only gonna do a little bit of stuff in between each one, so it's mainly gonna be quiet and then, you know. Alright, how am I supposed to get over to this dude? Should I? Yeah, check it out. After I talk to Doug. Got to get the keys. I open the gate. Okay, so first... So, Notely's brother with the keys. Try to use the remote on the televisions to the far left. After this, hand it to Doug and he will use the remote to turn on the TVs. Those TVs are on. And I'm sure they're making a lot of noise behind that glass. Sorry, what was I supposed to do again? Something about the remote with the guy, like you have to try to turn the TVs off or then give it to him and he'll turn them off. Let me read it again. Oh, I have the remote, right? But how do I... yeah so it says first knock off the lock with the fire axe and then push open the door and grab the brick throw the brick through the window of the tv store oh there's a brick see again it's like that's not intuitive it's like you have to search you got to turn the tvs off too like you got to burst I I mean you can give it a shot like this but yeah try to yeah see what happens Bart Fargo's brother Ichabod on those TVs. That'd be great. The only thing that airs in the zombie apocalypse is the brother Ichabod ad that we did. Yeah, that'll be fun. It's been a hot minute since we did something like that. Did you find them yet give me a second having a moment here. Um, can I get some privacy, please? I have to finish it off. Did you have to kill the brain? Yes. Hit the head. Hit the head. This looks exactly as difficult as trying to kill someone with an axe actually would be. Like it's... Ugh. one more time I don't understand how like getting bit by the zombie turns you but like you can just be covered with like all of their blood and that seems to be fine science doesn't really make any sense like wear some gloves holy crap run oh god okay wait if he hadn't yelled that they wouldn't have known dumb dumb all right get back get back get back That one zombie's shirt was in the same condition as the clothes in my closet right now. Oh, we've got a new donation here. Oh, very nice. from uh rushmore yankee oh thanks more yankee thank you rushmore yankee says can matt do tiny tim doing stroking uh yes I can I I definitely know all the words to this but I just want to make sure I'm doing them in the right order so uh All right. Wow. It was the first result. Awesome. So, uh, okay. So this is, this is for you, uh, Rushmore Yankee, right? Yes. Okay. Yeah. This is for you Rushmore Yankee. So, uh, When I start making love, I don't just make love! I be stroking! That's what I be doing! I be stroking! I stroking to the east! And I stroking to the west! And I stroking to the woman that I love the best! I be stroking! Let me ask you something. What time of the day do you like to make love? Have you ever made love just before breakfast? Have you ever made love while you watched the late, late show? Well, let me ask you this. Have you ever made love on a couch? One more time. I be stroking. That's what I be doing. Thank you. That is a wonderful idea. I have now blown out my voice. Do your roommates ever question what you're doing when you're doing these impressions? No, because the one knows what I'm doing and the other one's afraid of me. And or is in our kitchen for nine and a half hours every day so just doesn't notice anything I'm doing. The guy with the hat, he gives me real like a, hey, Peter, man, turn on the news. It's the breast exam. I tell you what I'd do in a zombie apocalypse. Two chicks at the same time. That shot of him after Peter laughs at him, he's like, yeah. Shot of, what's his name, Dietrich Bader. It's like one of the funniest cuts, like, in movie history. It's just perfect. It's sublime. Alright, what am I supposed to be doing here? I just love, like, yeah, like, his advice when he's, like, going to jail. He's just, like, very genuinely just like, hey, Peter, man, watch your cornhole. It's just, like, it's so, like, caring and I'm doing the drywall down at McDonald's. Oh, no. You're not the father. Whoa. Shit. Okay. Well, look harder. Look, we don't want to put you on the spot, Clementine, but if you don't find us now, we're all gonna die, so hurry up! We are going to die. I was just thinking that too, yeah. That's such a great... That whole scene is so good. That is my favorite Indiana Jones movie. It's so good. You call him Dr. Jones, doll. I always love when they're about to jump out of the raft in the plane. You just hear, like, because they're all, like, squeezed together. You just hear short rounds. You're like, lady, I can't breathe. Yeah. Oh, I gotta save Doug or Carly. Save Carly. Get laid. Oh, no. They both died. Whoopsie. Oh, you get to try again. Because if at first you don't succeed... What time is it? We should probably start... It is eight fifty-three. Let me skip this. You've made a lot of good progress. I guess so. Joan Cusack, not you. Again? Really? I gotta sit through this whole thing again? Really? Seriously? Forklift Killer Chris brings creative solutions to the trolley problem. If you kill all the people, then you don't have a trolley problem. There, I solved the puzzle. Mr. Z Natural, I'm still disappointed that Dial of Destiny didn't at least have a cameo by Adult Short Round. Yeah, they really dropped the ball on that. The guy's, like, everywhere again. What an opportunity to put Short Round back in the Indiana Jones movies. Everyone loves that guy. Yeah, and he was sort of getting big at around that time again, too. Yeah, but, like, no one would have been against, like, that's the kind of nostalgic casting that they should do. Well, I mean, on one hand, you gotta respect that they tried to not just completely lean into, you know, nostalgia bait for most of it. It's just like, that's Indiana Jones. He has a new cast of characters, you know, and... I don't know. I was pretty lukewarm toward it until it got to the end, and then I thought it was gonna end awesome, and then it didn't, and it really bummed me out. Because, uh... Well, I mean, it's been out for a while, but I'm gonna try not to spoil too much. Time travel is involved at one point toward the end, and I thought that Indiana Jones was just gonna stay in the past and die in the past to, like, save his friends. That's true. It would have been the best way for him to go out. You know, he finally gets to, you know, and then maybe at the end, like they find like his hat in a cave, but it's like all aged, you know, and you know, time travel just I guess all the Indiana Jones movies kind of, you know, there's a little bit of a fantasy element to them. Yeah. They don't lean too heavy into it, though. Exactly. It's all, like, kind of cool and subtle. I don't know. They did time travel in an Indiana Jones movie as good as you could do it, I think. But then they just completely caved because I was like, yeah, just like, you know, Indiana Jones, this is his life, you know, and they could have made the plot about, like, how his marriage didn't work because, like, this is his real passion, and he could have... Yeah. He could have just, like, you know, not died in the past, but just, like, had to, like, remain behind or something while, you know, the rest of his friends got back, and you just know that he lived to, like, a ripe old age, like, hanging out with, like, Socrates or whoever, you know, and... but instead they ended it with more nostalgia bait. All right, so wait, I'm saving the girl, right? All right, but how do I choose which one to save? This is so frustrating. Is it not letting you click? I don't know. Whatever one it lets you click on, I guess, is the one you choose. This is like a Russian election. It seems like there's a choice, but there's not really. Peter Man. No, get her. Bart Fargo says, what's with that cloudy vision? Is that zombie vision? I think you just have glaucoma. Yeah. The main character has macular degeneration. Go, kid. You're gonna get us both killed. What? What? I know Walter Matthau punched you in the face. Why? How'd I get out? Hey, Peterman, I just put an axe in his head. Come with me if you want to live. Come with me, Peterman, if you want to live. Are you Sarah Connor, Peterman? Hasta la vista, Peter, man. Okay. Actually, that seems like a good place to pause it. We're going to play more next week. Yeah. Groovy. Okay. Is it going to save my progress here? It probably saved it after that, right? I guess so. If it didn't, I'll figure it out before. Wait. While you're doing that, I'm going to go grab my Switch real fast. I'm just going to let this play just to make sure it saves and I don't have to do all that over again. Matt's been playing Mortal Kombat XI. Yes, he has. Did you check the glove box? They should just start whatever succeeds Blu-ray. They should just have physical media be on these little chips like Switch games are. I agree. That would be amazing. Yeah, like totally uncompressed movies you can just take with you anywhere. Pop in and they don't have to really load or anything. Alright. There has to have been a save by this point, so I'm going to exit. Yes, I'm sure. God damn it. Yeah, bitch. Let me out. All right, everyone. Fire up your switches. Open up Mario Kart. Fire up your Nantando swatches and get ready for... Mario, maybe you should be in the race. You've got the CTE. Hold on. I just realized something. I've got to plug my monitor in. Let me get the game going first. yeah we just we just have you on screen usually when we do these right I think that's all you really um yeah yeah we don't need I mean unless you want to I mean it doesn't matter it's a I just know that anytime my setup can be as uncomplicated as possible it usually runs hang on one second I'm gonna I'll be right back Dan Wally has a one terabyte SD chip in your phone. That is crazy. I was talking about this with my dad the other day, how like when a thumb drives first came out, how, how wild it was, you know, that it was like, you know, for like a hundred something dollars, you could get like a, like a five hundred megabyte, you know, thumb drive. And now you can buy just like multiple terabytes for approximately that same price. I bought a sixty gig SD card for like something like, you know, fifteen dollars. It's crazy. um okay I gotta take this off the screen real quick so I can set this up um and I'm gonna put the code in the pri in the chat everyone let me just get matt the code Yeah. Dan Wally asks, how do we hook our Switch up to the stream? We use just a video capture card that you just hook up through USB to your computer. The problem is, though, is that StreamYard, we kind of have to trick StreamYard to get it to work. And occasionally, StreamYard realizes that and tries to change all the settings to one or the other. So what I do now is I plug the Switch into my laptop. So it's on a separate computer than my desktop. And that kind of solves everything with the sound issues. I put the code in there, Matt, when you're ready. Yeah, I'm getting in. Just give me two seconds. No, hurry. There you are. Oh, someone else already joined. Oh, I think because if I'm friends with them already. Yeah, I don't think I didn't even need the code. I think if you're just playing and if you're friends with you already. But if you're not already friends with you, then that's fine. Okay, just put the code in chat, everyone. By the way, anybody with Switches, feel free to just add me on Switch because it makes these types of things run better. Plus, I like to see what you're playing, and you can get up at three in the morning and see that I'm in the middle of playing Batman Arkham Knight for the nine hundredth time. I started playing and they updated the Game Boy collection on Switch. And let me put this on a banner. Scroll. Very spiffy in my little scarf. All right. Between, like, your avatar and then the other beard glasses one, I'm going to get confused. There's two. I know. There's too many glasses, beards guys here. It's like a Matt Walsh impersonator contest. I'm just kidding. All right. Are we doing all blue cells here? Yeah, let's do it. Do all blue shells. If you want to throw in something else weird, maybe you could... Oh, it would only let you do... Oh, you can do custom items. Wait. Does the next screen fix? I think so, right? Maybe. It must. If it gets weird, we can always just back out. It's got to be. Let's see. Will it not just let you click A when you go to custom? Okay. all right blue shells and if you want to throw like maybe one other thing and maybe like bananas oh because that could get what about that and the bullets so it's just gonna be a constant that or no star you think what was the one you suggested I was gonna say bananas because then it's just gonna be a nightmare to drive the whole time yeah but it'll be fun like to be able to go really fast for like two seconds until you get blown up um you know what you know what I'm I'm a little curious about the bullet one maybe maybe maybe do the bullet or we could do the star though half the joy of all blue shells that it is all blue shells and that's just like you know a thousand of them do one just pure all blue it cannot be compromised it has to only be blue this has to be unadulterated and pure I'm glad we had this discussion Okay. That's a good one. Yoshi Valley is kind of my go-to. I like sometimes just driving all the rainbow roads they have on here in, like, chronological order, so I'm gonna go with Super Nintendo Rainbow Road first. For a second, I thought you were doing your Todd McFarlane. I like doing the... I like the Switch Rainbow Road because it's bigger than the Super Nintendo Road. It's also in higher resolution. It's way better. I was watching a video again today where they were talking about the Spawn cartoon and how they had these live openings from Todd McFarlane and all of them where he's like, you know, behind his little drawing desk but it's in like this big spooky warehouse and he's wearing like a leather jacket with his hair slicked back and he has his back to the camera and then he turns around and he's like... is like, if you were about to die and the devil came up to you and said, like, would you give your soul to me to not die? What would you do? Well, a guy named Spawn had to answer that question one time. I'm Todd McFarlane. It's so stupid. Yeah, vaguely remember that. Okay, here we go, everyone. If you found out a guy was stealing your newspaper every day and then you caught him red-handed, would you beat the shit out of him or would you call the proper authorities? Well, a guy named Spawn had to make that decision one time. I'm Todd McFarlane. Oh, God. This is slightly more playable than it was last time. Ah... Yeah, I've managed to go a little longer. Okay, now it's starting to... Billy just blue shelled herself, I saw. I saw it. I saw it. You can't blue shell yourself, everyone. Just remember. I blew myself too early, Michael. You blew yourself. It's kind of fun having to avoid the... I think that's almost a strategy, so you have to kind of hang back a little bit. yeah like the the sweet spot is to be in like like third place like yeah you're close enough to the front to really kind of supersede whoever gets bombed but you personally don't really most of the time ah see that one got me I was in the crossfire crossfire What was Crossfire? As much nostalgia everyone has for that commercial, did anyone actually play it? Yes, it sucks. It's literally just a game where you shoot these little metal balls around a little table. But that commercial made it seem so badass, and then you just actually got it, and you're like, oh. Because, yeah, that song is so great. Crossfire, you'll get caught up in the... Crossfire! Crossfire! Oh. Oh. There was a couple things like that where they tried to make stuff seem cool. Like, I don't know, I remember as a kid when Jumanji came out, and they came out with the board game Jumanji, and I was like, oh, this is going to be sick. It's going to be like the one in the movie. Not that it would actually, like, you know, take you somewhere, but that board game just looked so cool, you know? Like, it was the wood and everything. And then you bought the board game, and it was just like a shitty Parker Brothers board game. You're like, oh, this is much less exciting. I know. It's kind of... I mean, it's similar with, like, the Talkboy thing, where it's like... Yeah. It's something from a movie that they were just like, oh, we could sell a toy to this, but they didn't really put much... They didn't really put much thought into anything else after. Oh, no. Now I'm in first place. I don't want to get blue-shadowed. I don't want to be a pirate. I don't want to be a pirate. Oh, God. This is fun. We're having fun. Maybe it's just the track. I feel like it's more playable this time. Last time I just felt like it was just constant exploding. The power-ups feel a little bit more spread out in this one. That could be it. Who came in first? Dot Governor. Wow. LavaBings asks, did anyone here use the Power Glove? I never did use the Power Glove. Did you ever? No, I never had it. It looked awesome. When I turned seven, I remember the big things I wanted was either a Game Boy or a Power Glove, and my parents got me a Game Boy. Thank God. now I do remember I think a friend of mine in uh elementary school like their older brother had a sega tried to release like this mat at one point that was supposed to be like the original version basically of like xbox connect where you could like move your body to do stuff and that did not work at all well do you remember like the track and field nes pad they had that that was like a they were marketing the hell out of that for a little bit where it was a big mat with buttons on it, and you could run on it. Oh, yeah. I never had one, but I remember seeing other kids with them. There was a track and field NES game that came with it. don't know we were very like the team sega for the longest time until sega folded and then you know yeah I started like I didn't play a lot of the mario games until a lot later in my life but I played all the sonics but like even like you know I didn't have the game boy I had the game gear which uh did you ever have a game gear yeah I had a game gear it was a great console but it was you know you either had to plug it into the wall or it took you like it ate up like eight double a batteries oh that's right four hours that was before they had like rechargeable batteries yeah that thing was just like a battery demolisher and uh and it was just like massive then it wasn't like super portable really and uh You could watch TV on it. Yeah. I had a TV tuner. Yeah. Let's see. I had a, yeah, I had a game boy. I guess I only had that really for like a few years before I had to gain gear. Cause you know, I remember being like fourth grade and getting the game gear. Yeah. Now, what started my Nintendo journey was that my mom... This shows you how white trash we are. We consumed so much Kool-Aid because we basically raised my cousins, too. There used to be Kool-Aid points you could get, and my mom collected so many Kool-Aid points that both me and my sister got a Game Boy Pocket that came with Pokemon Blue version. Both of us. That is amazing. It's... we got a lot of neat through kool-aid points we got a like a legit whammo slip and slide uh wow yeah it's not cool though to just uh have uh points for kids toys and a giant vat of sugar anymore though so that's uh sad times But there were more points on the sugar-free Kool-Aid, so they were trying to encourage good behavior. Were there really? There were, yeah, because my grandpa drank the sugar-free Kool-Aid, and they would just give my mom all the points, and that's... I guess it's not as bad as, like, the camel cigarette points. Oh, that was... Yeah. That was kind of the whole thing, though, is, like, you know, points. Yeah. Yeah. buy a certain amount of UPCs and then you can win a trip to China. The one I never quite understood was the box tops for education. Can somebody explain how, like, all of us saving our box tops was supposed to, like, fund education or something? It just was. It just was. Like, I remember even as a kid being like, yeah, but, like, why? Because our school would do that big, they'd have a big push during a certain part of the year, because we were always doing fundraiser crap. Where did all that money go? All those fundraisers. You gotta wonder. They had to have been maybe bullshit, I would think. Some of them probably were, right? The amount of fraud there is in this world, I'm sure we've been defrauded without even knowing it. Did you ever do any fundraisers in school, like those things where a guy would show up and he'd have a magazine for stuff to sell to your neighbors? I don't think my brother and I ever did it. And if you sold a lot of stuff, you could win a mini bike, but nobody ever won the mini bike because it would take you selling a psychotic amount of stuff, so you would... do all this work and then you would get like a like a you know a chinese finger trap yeah it was basically just child labor it was basically that yeah uh what do they call that the media mass um marketing like nexium it's like nexium for kids yeah yeah yeah so people wonder why so many people from our generation fell for like pyramid schemes and it's like that's basically what happened to all of us in school so it's still happening too look at like I don't even want to get into it I mean there are certain fundraisers where I get you know where it's like they're trying they have like the chocolate bars that they do to like raise money for like band or you know or stuff like that but it's like There's also, um, this is big in New York City, and probably not as much as it used to be, like, when I was growing up, but there's a whole network of guys who, like, hire teenagers to sell candy on the subway, with, like, the promise of, like... Yeah, what is that about? Oh, my, I read a whole, you know, expose on it, and it's fucking crazy. There's, like, yeah, there's, like, these guys. They're like, hey, you want to get the new Jordans? Just sell, you know, ten boxes of this. But they even have, like, guys who, like, drive these kids' places and then pick them up after. It's insane. And it's all, you know, it's all off the books. So they're just totally exploiting these high school students by flashing PS Vs in front of their faces. Jeez. I would a hundred percent fall for something like that if I was a child today. Yeah. This guy said he's going to buy me the new Pokemon game. All I have to do is sell nine hundred candy bars. That's like I remember when I was in middle school, my buddy Austin was like the first person I knew with like a job job. He had like a paper route and I thought it was like crazy that he had like you know like a hundred and fifty bucks every month I was like oh my god what I could do if I had a hundred and fifty dollars remember that yeah I used to quantify money like by how many Star Wars action figures I could get with it so I'm like oh twenty bucks cool I can get like five Star Wars action figures for that That's all I was concerned about. Yeah, I would do that with like, because I remember like when I was in middle school, like that was when they started releasing all the seasons of Star Trek on DVD. And I was just like, man, it would be so awesome if you could just own all of Star Trek on DVD. It's like I had a hundred bucks a month like Austin did. Like I could start buying like TNG. I could get season one. I know. It's like the things we fantasized about then. It's just everybody now. It's just everyone has access to this stuff now. But it's also just like, you know you get bored like we have access to every goddamn video game technically like basically every game that we grew up with we can just search for it and play it yeah it's kind of depressing that things are as bad as they are like in this country in the world and yet it's still the best time to be alive ever isn't that a horribly depressing thought it might have been better before the internet maybe but I mean like think about like some of the strides and like medicine that's true and just you know in terms of like civil rights and stuff right you know going backwards now but um but you're right like there's still you know there have been plenty of progressions that have been positive for like, you know, or just like technology. Like, I mean, like I've been groaning about my taxes and everything here lately, but like, I was just, you know, like with the internet though, like, you know, even if you're using like accountants and stuff, you can just email and do everything. Like you don't have to go take a form, like the post office. Yeah. And photocopy all your receipts. Yeah. And do like all that kind of stuff. So it's, I just got hit with four blue shells. Four. no no it still goes after even if you're not in first place it's kind of not fair I was doing really good right up until like the last second um just looking at the chat what did I say something offensive danny says chris dot dot dot poor chris What? What happened? Was it because I said, you know, things are the best right now ever, and I said, ah, it might have been better in the nineties. You know, when you couldn't, you know, be gay without getting fired and all that stuff. There's certain things that, of course. They made Don't Ask, Don't Tell, where the military was just like, we'll let you in, but, like, just, like, don't be, like, all, like, you know, like, ugh about it, you know? Like, what a weird policy. You know what? I'm going to do Legend of Zelda one this time. Hello blue sold the brand candy to not the generic charity stuff. Ooh. So like you'd sell just, you just like go to Costco and buy like a box of M and M's and then see, I think that's cool. If kids are doing out of independently, I think it's really creepy when it's like an adult is paying kids to do child labor basically. Yeah. That sounds like, did you ever see that episode of Batman the Animated Series where there was, like, a guy living under the streets of Gotham and he just had, like, a group of, like, children who were, like, his slaves who he would, like, send out to steal people's purses and then come back to the sewers? Yeah. Okay. Danny confirmed, yes, the dot, dot, dot was for me. But then I mentioned civil rights and right after you had entered, or right after they had entered. You know, it's like, yeah. I don't ever want to say, oh, no, we should go back to the nineties. I mean, like, every decade has, you know, every period in history really has, like, things that are good about it and things that are bad about it, you know? And it's like... That's, you know, it's like why I said, like, yeah, it's the best time to be alive ever and yet everything is still horrible. Like, I don't think utopia is achievable. If we're gonna get real philosophical on the stream here, I don't think, you know, a Star Trek future is ever obtainable because every system has inherent flaws and, uh... And there's always more work to be done. Hi, I'm Matt Riser from the Super Dumb Brothers. We've had a lot of fun tonight, but I want to talk to you all about a serious topic for a moment. God, I just got the shit beat out of me. I had like seven of these things hit me. I know. I had like six, literally six hit me at one time. No. Oh, this is the F-Zero track. I didn't even realize that until like right now. Yeah, why doesn't it have like the theme you would want to hear? Yeah, where's the little things on the edges where you go like... Oh, it's these things. Oh, look, I did the... There's some great sax music going on. For real. Saxophone players, like, getting turned on by this race. Oh, my God. Yeah. Damn, that was close. Somehow I still. Oh, okay. I'm in third place. Okay. I'm in fourth overall. That was a great indoor race. Yeah, that was awesome. We were literally neck and neck. Well done, .govna. What time is it? Should we do another round? Yeah, we could do one more round. Let's do another round. I know that was a great ending that will probably just wind up ruining by whatever we do next, but hang on, my switch is being weird. Should we change up the... Oh, communication errors. Should we just do like a plain round of Mario, which is normal? Yeah, just do like a regular race. Hang on, I got to get into your... Hang on, I got booted out of the lobby. I need to get back in. Hang on. Before you make any rash decisions. There you are. You good? Yep, I'm here. I made it back, Luigi. Oh, Luigi, the doctor says that I don't have a very long. My brains are all scrambled from all the blocks I've been hitting with my head. Wahoo! Let's see if we're all caught up on shoutouts. And thank you so much, everyone, for hanging out. Yeah, thanks for hanging out. This has been a lot of fun tonight. everyone I hope comes back for the Witching Hour Marathon right here on Twitch tomorrow. Yeah. Gotta make sure I got enough makeup. I should. You mean Ichabod. Yes, yes, that's what I mean. It's not even makeup, it's just his face. Oh, I meant like the human makeup. I do like the Joker from Batman, where I put human paint over top of the... Oh, this level. I don't really play this one that much. They were really running out of ideas when they made this level. This is one of the bonus ones, right? Yeah, it's like F-Zero level, Zelda level, different Mario levels, Donkey Kong level, giant bathroom. Kids play pens. Paris? I don't know. Yeah. I like the Animal Crossing logo. That one is fun. It's the first time you've ever seen a toilet in a Mario game. I'm going to go out on a limb and make that assessment. You'd think, considering they're plumbers, you'd see a lot more of that kind of stuff. Yeah, it's only ever pipes. There's never like, Luigi, we need to go fix it. This guy's shitter. He's a plumber. There's a toilet. Okay, is there any recorded instance of Mario and Luigi fixing a toilet? Morbo, are you watching? Maybe like the Luigi's Mansion games, maybe? I don't know. Oh yeah, you're right. Seems like a toilet maybe shows up in one of those. Yeah, you have to like, there's ghosts inside them sometimes. Yeah, there's ghosts in the bathroom. It's nice to know the Mario cartoons canonically shit, you know? Ew. Toilet spraying toilet water up. Ooh, I made it up to the high tracks. Alright. Well... Quondale Dangle. Ahhhh! I can get better at drifting. That's my flaw with every racing game is I'm a horrible drifter. It was my nephew's birthday a couple weeks ago, and he had his birthday party at Dave & Buster's, and they had, like, a four-panel Mario Kart set up there. Oh, nice. It was cool. Happy birthday, Dylan. Yeah. He's seven. Um... That place kind of sucks, though, if I'm being honest. Yeah, you went to Dave & Buster's, not even, like, Chuck E. Cheese, because, like, I always think of, like, Dave & Buster's as being, like, you know, Chuck E. Cheese, but it's full of, like, alcoholic adults instead of children, you know? Yeah, but it's the same basic, you know, terrible service. There's just kids running around everywhere. You can never get anyone's attention. It's just a nightmare. But Chuck E. Cheese is way worse. Way worse. They don't even have the animatronic band anymore. That's, like, half the fun. Chuck E. Cheese makes me, like, angry that they're ripping families off with their business model. Like, that's... That's their bread and butter. It's like ripping off families who just want to have a fun time with their kids. And like their pizza is awful. It's just terrible. And they don't. Yeah, it's like it's like the second worst pizza I've ever had in my life. The first worst planet Hollywood in Myrtle Beach, believe it or not. But the games at Chuck E. Cheese, they make most of the games that they have out there. There's one or two licensed arcade machines there, but the rest is just the cheapest games that end in two seconds. It's such a rip-off. Well, like, all the fun games don't win you any tickets, too, which is, like, always the... Like, all the fun games are just games you play, but then all the games that give you tickets to try to get stuff are all, like, shit from, like, the Great Depression, you know? It's like, you either play the Jurassic Park game, or you can play this game, governor, where you put your shiny shekel in here, and there's a bunch of other shiny shekels on the edge of this platform, and maybe your shekel will push the other shekels over. Like, what the fuck is this? You can either play Mario Kart, or you can stop the spinning light on the correct circle by pushing the button. Yeah, Dylan, at Dave & Buster's, he won enough tickets to get, like, a mechanical arm that looks like, you know, like a T-One, like a Terminator arm. Oh, yeah. And he can, like, grab stuff with it. I thought that was pretty cool. But he probably spent, like, fifty dollars in games to get to that. Yeah, on something that you could buy at, like, the dollar store, probably, if you looked around. Yes. Yeah, and you know, Chuck E. Cheese does that too, and it's part of the same ripping off families model where you're essentially paying fifty dollars for stuffed animals that go for like a dollar. Yeah. Sorry, what were you going to say? Oh, I don't even remember what I was going to say now. I'm focusing on like four different things at the same time. Yeah. Oh, I just took first. Going ghost. I hate the ghost. Oh, I was about to say the claw that Dylan had, is it the same one that Chris Farley has in Tommy Boy? Yeah, exactly. It's pretty cool. I gotta say, it's fun playing with those things. And just pretending it's like a real mechanical arm. Hey, is anyone watching going to the Riff Trax taping in Nashville this summer? Sound off in the chat. I'm thinking of maybe going. If enough cool people show up, I'll show up. I want to know who's going to be there. I need to know. Oh, .govna won. They're riffing Time Cop. The Cop of Time. Is that the last race? Is there more? One more. Un mas. There's probably two more, and I'm just really dumb. Two more. Moo Moo Meadows. Oh, Jackie B's going. Most people I know is kind of far. I wish they did it in Minneapolis again because that seemed a little easier for everyone to get to. More of a central location. I've never been to Nashville though. Have you ever been there? Uh, I think I've been there once. I mean, not as an adult, but when I was a kid, we used to have family that lived out that way, so I've driven through that area. I'd love to go back. I debated for a while back when I was in between apartments and stuff was looking, you know, real rough in New York. I was like, you know what, I could maybe relocate to Nashville. rainbow road it's just the ae nes nes rainbow road rainbow road yeah oh that's a close one I was so happy when they did rainbow road in the in the movie I may have stood up and cheered no I didn't I wanted to you cried like kevin smith does in his reaction videos to things that man is always crying now he only cries over batman like I bet you like like if his own daughter like died he wouldn't cry as hard as he does when he watches like the dark knight returns adaptation for the fiftieth time kevin smith's a fine dude I don't mean to talk trash about him And he's had a rough couple years, from what I gather, but there was a period where he was putting out reaction videos where he was just, like, crying about, like, everything. Yeah. And that, you know what? That's fine. Hey, I cry about a lot of things, too, so, you know, it's... I think Kevin Smith's just kind of an easy target, because he's made some bad movies, but I don't think he's a bad guy, like, at all. I actually think he's probably a really good decent dude. We actually know a couple people who've worked with him before. Oh, yeah. Like, I'm sure he, like, you know, treats his staff well and all that stuff. Like, he does seem like a genuinely good dude. I just question his, like, his writing and... He's one of the few people who was better off before he was smoking weed, which I think he's not smoking weed again now, and he's one of the few where I'm like, good. Because those Evening with Kevin Smith DVDs are so great. Oh, those were great, yeah. And there's such a change between him and those and him in the last couple years. That story he tells about meeting John Peters and everything with the Superman movie that happened is so great. Oh, God, yeah. The story where he meets Prince is awesome. The giant spider. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, baby Luigi's upset. Wah. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. I made it in fifth. Mario, your CTE is a getting worse. You can't even drive on the cart. Oh, we do have another race. Here we go. Okay. I made it through the super Nintendo one. So now I'm going to pick the N-sixty-four rainbow road and see what happens. Dot governor says good game. Thank you, dot governor. You too. Dan Wally, I backed the Kickstarter and we'll go to the movie theater. Oh, nice. Have the tickets gone on sale yet? No, I don't think so. Forklift Killer says we should all make crying reaction videos to movie Joe Nights. That's funny. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Final race, yes. Ah, I missed the boost. I've been missing the boost a lot today. My Mario Kart skills are slippin'. Oh, yeah! Like the other day, I took my countries of the world quiz that I routinely do over a hundred and fifty on when I'm doing it, and I only made it to like a hundred and forty something. I'm slipping on all my things. I missed Lesotho, Chris. Lesotho! Ah, I went through the pink snow. Ah! Shy guys snowboarding. Why? Why? Why would the shy guys snowboard? Yeah, they don't seem like their bodies are built very well for boarding. But it's like they're not even like associated with like snow levels or anything. I don't know, it's just weird. Yeah. I do like this level a lot though, going off the little sides. It is cool. Ugh. I hate that pink snow. Snow sucks here. Why is the snow pink? Because there's, like, yellow snow. Is the pink snow from, like... The shy guy's pee pink. The shy guy's blood from where they faceplant and break their necks and die. Mario, I think several shy guys died on this course. It's because of your interfere with your cart because your brains are messed up and you won't begin to help. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Ah, third. Fourth. Well, it was fun. Ah, fifth. Ah, shit. Ah, shit. Shit. Shit. okay that's enough that's enough matt matt stop stop kill you okay thanks for hanging out everybody this has been a lot of fun uh thanks everyone you guys are the best We will be going back to our dumb television programming here in a bit. I'm doing some episodes based off of machinery. So I've got Pray for the Wildcats, Lost Missile, and Killdozer coming up. And the choppers. Yes, Big Rig says you've become the ghost from Ju-on. That's the grudge, right? Yeah. Pre-game. Pre-movie, I mean. My entire personality is becoming like, what would happen on Space Ghost Coast to Coast? And I'm just trying to channel that energy now. Thanks, everyone, for hanging out tonight. Yeah, thanks for hanging out. You guys are the best. Join the Super Dumb Bros Super Club. Get on the Dumb Industries newsletter. And join us tomorrow for a witching hour at seven. Yeah, come hang out for the witching hour. If you haven't seen the latest episodes, they'll be presented by Brother Ichabod right here on Twitch. Bring your hell questions. yeah we're gonna we're gonna have a fun night I'm he uh brother ichabod is is very looking forward to being in his full get up for a straight like six hours it's gonna be a great time that is uh I'm gonna raid uh tv at ten so if you guys want to watch that okay yeah over there and then matt's over here yeah we're gonna be playing ready pray for the wildcats if you want to watch william shatner and mike brady and andy griffith have adventures in mexico on bikes Yes. That's what's happening there. Excellent movie. All right. We'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye. Bye. Seacrest out.